Nutty Is My Middle Name
by Vera Amber
Summary: Me talking to myself, Max, B/Ella, and Java, along with random characters, real people, and assorted OCs. We all know this is gonna end badly. Cue randomness, silliness, and inzanity. Rated T because of cursing and paranoia.
1. C1:So is it a fish or a bird?

**Uh, hi. There was a prologue but it was absurd so it's gone now. This chapter is also absurd, but less absurd. As is every other chapter. Imagine there was already some sort of introduction, even though there wasn't.**

Moi: Right, I'm doing another chapter since for the entire month of August and half of July I won't be able to post any new chapters. Long story.

Max: Oh, yeah, just perfect Vera!

Moi: SHUT UP SPITTLES!

Max: Why are you calling me Spittles again?

Skittles: Because in a conversation between Vera and me, you were being your normal self, and Vera came up with that nickname.

Max: Oh, yeah. Hey, aren't you the girl that kidnapped Fang!

Skittles: Yeah, but Saint did too!

Moi: This is NOT going to turn into a conversation about Pooky the penguin, Spiffy the Hobbit, Justin, and the Jello Catapult of Doom!

Bella: It wasn't turning into a conversation about that, Vera.

Moi: ...Which Bella are you?

Bella: Huh?

Moi: Y'know, my best friend or the Twilight star?

Bella: Oh, um, neither! -disappears-

Skittles: That was weird.

Java: Very. Hey Mom!

Max: I'M NOT YOUR MOM!

Java: In Java Runtime Error you are.

Moi: Actually, Java, you're only in your mother's dream when Ella hits her over the head with a flashlight. Isn't that right Skittles?

Skittles: Mhm. Hey, I DON'T SAY "MHM"!

Moi: Oh, shut up. I'll copy/paste this entire thing into a PM for ya.

Moi: Hey, Max?

Max: Yeah?

Moi: Tell me the Box isn't unlocked.

Max: -pales- Um... -checks- SHIETZ!

Moi: HEY! You're not allowed to curse in German. You don't even know German.

Max: Oh, merde.

Moi: You're not allowed to curse in French, either.

Java: In Java Runtime Error, she's allowed to curse in French, Polish, and Portugeuse.

Max: THAT WAS A CURSIN' DREAM!

Skittles: Girls, girls! Calm dow-

Moi: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Skittles: SHUT UP!

Jessica: -appears- -does weird dance- -disappears-

Moi: Whoa. Which Jessica what that?

Max: There's more than one?

Moi: Yes, you idiot! Off the top of my head, I can list four of them! Creepily enough, Twilight Jessica and Bella are "friends", and MY friends Jessica and Bella are actual friends...

Java: Let's worry about that later. Let's talk about shopping!

Max: -smacks-

Skittles: -smacks-

Moi: -whacks with herring-

Max: NOT THE CURSING HERRING AGAIN!

Skittles: Is a herring a bird or a fish?

Moi: I dunno. St. Fang of Boredom came up with it. It's sort of like Pygmy Marmosets.

Java: What are Pygmy Marmosets?

Moi: I dunno.

Skittles: Well, then, Google it!

Java: Well, then, is a herring a bird or a fish?

Moi: It's BOTH! Yikes. (Two different animals, people!)

Max: Shouldn't you be working on Matter? Or, better yet, IMing? or maybe writing a new oneshot?

Moi: Sure. But this is way funner and way easier. I just write whatever comes into my head.

Java: "funner" isn't a word. SpellCheck agrees.

Moi: Oh, SHUT UP!

Skittles: Language Vera-

Moi: -smacks with herring-

Skittles: -rubs head- Owww...

Max: So is it a fish or a bird?

Moi: -shoves Max back into doll cabinet- There.

Skittles: Wait, aren't I in bed right now?

Moi: Yeah. So?

Skittles: Isn't that a little weird?

Moi: That you're in bed? No, you went to bed at midnight in your time zone... which was eleven in mine...

Skittles: I mean that it's weird that I'm talking, oh, nevermind! I'm just whacked. -goes to bed-

Moi: Great. It's just me and you Java.

Leeanna: AND ME! -jumps up and down waving arms in the air-

Moi: Where the curse word did you come from Leeanna! I haven't even written your story yet!

Leeanna: -shrugs-

Moi: -sigh- Wait, what story are you supposed to be in?

Leeanna - Matter, I think. The bubbly/bogus girl?

Moi: ...oh

Java: -pulls Vera's notebook from underneath bed- Hey, look at this!

Moi: GIVE THAT BACK!

Java: Notes to self. Google "electric blue". Stop writing notes to self when it's past midnight with a flashlight! Seriously, DO SOMETHING ABOUT TAKILA! Figure out what neurocomputerization is. Fix Vera's copy-slash-paste things. Put "antidisestablishmentarianism" somewhere in Matter and figure out the meaning. Get a better pen. This one sucks. I need to write more. My wrist is starting to hurt. Create something better than-

Moi: GIVE ME THAT!

Java: Wow, you have a for of ideas for oneshots in here. The stove explodes?

Moi: HEY! I HAVEN'T EVEN TYPED THAT ONE UP YET!

Leeanna: Hey... why am I AJ's middle name?

Moi: Because I like the name "Leeanna". And that story sucks, so I want to reuse the name. Wait, HOW'D YOU GET MY PASSWORD!

Leeanna: You always use the same one except on really important ones.

Moi: Darn it. -chases Java in circles trying to get my notebook-

Leeanna: Let's check out Vera's bookmarks! Let's see... directions to everyone houses... hidden Skype emoticons? Hm... ooh, she was in the newspaper! Beginner skateboarding... make your own font... monitor on psychology... optical illusions... peep research... when to break the rules... thirteen letter words... 10 disturbing trends in subliminal advertising?

Moi: That was for my research paper. GIVE ME MY NOTEBOOK BACK JAVA!

Leeanna: French accent codes... learn your foot type?

Moi: Walking fitness. JAVA! GIVE ME MY CURSING NOTEBOOK BACK! OR YOU HAVE TO FEED NORMAN!

Leeanna: Huh. Hey Vera, you know you have to leave for a dentist appointment at two.

Moi: WHAT!

Leeanna: Yup.

Moi: DARN IT! -shoves the captured Java into newly bought OC cabinet-

Leeanna: Wait, not the OC cabi-

Moi: -shoves Leeanna into OC cabinet- CRAP! CRAP! Ew, my finger's bleeding. I HAVE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT! CRAP!

Janice: At least your mom has one at the same time!

Moi: CRA- Wait, what? Oh, C'MON! We have enough trouble with the Birthdays, but now dentist appointments!

Janice: 'Fraid so. Hey, your readers have no idea what you're talking about.

Moi: Oh, right. Well, my Birthday is on the same day as my mom's Birthday. NOW GET INTO THE CURSING OC CABINET JANICE!

Janice: -whimpers-

Moi: -shoves Janice into the OC cabinet- Okay, I should probably post this now, before I go nuts... anyway, I'll put the next chapter up when I get two votes. As in, one more vote.


	2. C2:YOU WANT TO PUT ME IN A SKILLET?

**I'm so sorry about the long hiatus, guys! My reasons are in the **_**News**_** section of my profile. Yes, I realize that I haven't **_**actually**_** gotten another review yet, but I'd thought I would during said hiatus, so I wrote this in my notebook. I'm updating this, anyway, and I'm going to give up the 'update when I get reviews' thing. SO, as you guys vote, I'll be changing the story to fit the majority vote.**

**NOTE: I'm changing the title of this fanfic to "Nutty is my Middle Name". I'll give you guys three days to absorb this fact, then I'm changing it.**

**Disclaimer: Do I actually need one of these? I don't think so…**

_**Remember folks, this story could contain any character, person, or figment of imagination the author very well wants it to. Just a warning.**_** – Java, Vera's personal assistant (**_**I got promoted! Yay!**_**).**

Moi: I just realized something.

Max: -groans- What?

Moi: Java read from my notebook! That's almost as bad as reading from my diary!

Java: Hey, that's a great idea! –grabs Vera's diary- "7/16 The circumstances that bring me here are the same as yesterday's. Stupid root beer bottle. Anyway, I finished the _Morganville Vampires_ series, and I'm halfway through _Wolf-Speaker_, the second _The Immortals_ book, by Tamora Pierce. Most of the day, I've been cleaning my room and reading. My room's actually getting pretty clean. Oh, and I found the-"

Moi: GIVE ME THAT!

Skittles: You better give her diary back, otherwise she'll bite your head off and stuff it in a fruit basket filled with poisonous, rabies-infested cocktails.

Moi: Java. You're my personal assistant. NOW GIVE IT BACK!

Java: No.

Moi: -grabs conveniently-located dart gun-

Java: Yikes! Okay, okay, you can have your diary back! Sheesh! –hands over diary-

Skittles: Why in the name of Percy Jackson and all his camp buddies do you have a dart gun that pops up at your convenience?

Max: Her sister gave it to her.

Moi: -pets diary lovingly and hides in closet because cat is jealous-

Java: What's this? –flips to random page- "That's because of absolute zero. Also, you can't move through Time. The laws of somesort state that-" This is one of her other notebooks, isn't it?

Max: …

Skittles: Dot. Dot. Dot.

The cat: -after a period of …, meows pitifully-

Unknown character from one of Vera's stories: -pets cat-

Moi: JAVA RUNTIME ERROR!

Java: Crap. –drops one of many of Vera's purple notebooks and dives under bed only six inches above the floor-

Max: Vera has a really low bed.

Unknown character: -looks around- Where's that Fall Out Boy music coming from?

Max: "Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great…" Vera's mp3 player. Hey, who are you?

Unknown character: -hums to Fall Out Boy- See my thingamajig? It says "unknown character". Thus.

Moi: Hey, this is my fanfic! I should at least be saying something!

Skittles: Well, technically V, if you don't mind me calling you that, you did just say something.

Moi: Oh. And 'V' is fine.

Max: And she's headed into eleventh grade. –sighs and shakes head-

Unknown character: Hey, now it's Santana! "Gimme you heart, make it real, or else forget about it…"

Barack Obama: Change! What we need is change!

Moi: -tosses quarter at president- Now skedaddle.

Skittles: I'm sensing you're against the Democratic, or elliefant, party and are for the opposing side, otherwise known as the donkey, or Republican party. And if I got those mixed up, I'm going to be so embarrassed that I didn't listen to Mrs. D last year…

Moi: Duh. (And I have no idea if you got those mixed up or not.)

Java: I'm more of a Democrat, though I think Angel did an excellent job ruling the world…Except for the pickles and futon thing.

Max: This is _not_ a political debate.

Moi: That could be over with a snap of my fiiingers…

Unknown character: I'm sorry to inform you of this, but the song is Skillet, not Kelly Clarkson.

Moi: Oh, shut up!

Skittles: OH! I LUFFLES SKILLET TO DEFFERS! THE CONCERT WAS AWESOME!

Moi: You didn't actually go to the concert.

Skittles: Why must you ruin my fun…

Moi: Did you ever notice how "Skittles" is nearly an anagram of "Skillet"?

Max: I wonder what skilleted skittles would taste like?

Skittles: YOU WANT TO PUT ME IN A SKILLET?!

Java: I think she meant those little candies with the 'S' on them…

(some minutes later, after a long discussion of the merits of skilleted skittles…)

Unknown character: How many Skillet songs do you _have_!?

Moi: Um… -counts- Ten or eleven, I think.

Unknown character: Yikes.

Moi: -has a sudden thought- Unknown character, I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!

Unknown character: -tries to say something the censors would despise, but falls on face instead- ZOI!

Moi: -imitates Angel- AHA! Janice.

Max: "-imitates Angel-"?

Moi: I laughed evilly.

Janice: -hums _The Older I Get_-

Moi: Go find me a book, Java. Any book.

Java: -heads over to open cabinet under Vera's bookcase-

Moi: No, not from the-! –is cut off by large amount of books falling on Java-

Max: -jumps into fighting stance-

Janice and Skittles, in unison: What was _that_!?

Moi: -groans- The Archives.

Skittles: The Anchovies?

Janice: Huh?

Max: -grabs conveniently-located dart gun and turns in slow circle-

Java: -flails arms uselessly-

Moi: The Archives. It's where I put all of the books I'm never going to read again but keep anyway.

Janice: You have _that_ many!?

Moi: I read a lot!

Java: Help?

Max: -checks perimeter-

Moi: -whistles-

Skittles: -looks at Vera like she's nuts, which she totally is-

**(A/N: You kept **_**that**_** the same!? –shakes head in despair- Darn, I must really be nuts…)**

The cat: -runs into room at high speed and asks in cat language- 'Sup?

Moi: Go dig Java out of those books.

The cat: -in cat language- Sure. –runs over and begins to remove books from Java's person-

Max: -hides in closet with dart gun in hand-

Java: Thanks kitty!

The cat: -in cat language- I go by 'the cat'. Dog food ya'lls'.

Skittles: My translator must be on the fritz, 'cause I could've sworn that cat just said 'ya'lls''…Maybe I should've listened to David, Braden, and Brandon and stayed away from that explosion…

Moi: Oh, no, your translator's working fine. It's just that we got stuck with a whackity cat.

Janice: Grrreat…

**Yes, that is an actual excerpt from my diary. Yes, I own a dart gun. Yes, I have a sister. Yes, I have a cat. Yes, that is an excerpt from one of my notebooks. (It's not fanfiction, though, so don't expect to be reading it anytime soon.) Yes, a lot of my notebooks are purple. Yes, my bed is only six inches off the ground. Yes, I have Fall Out Boy (and Santana and Skillet) music on my mp3 player. Etcetera. The only thing that WASN'T true was the Archives part (Yes, I have Archives, but I only started them like a month ago, so I only have around twenty books in it, and it's a really small cabinet, so the worst that could happen would be Java got buried up to her knees in books.). Other than that, all of the stuff is totally truthful. Well, except for the fact of understanding the cat. I so totally don't. But I wish I did. So it doesn't count. –sticks tongue out-**

**If there are any characters/people/celebrities that you would wish me to put into the next chapter, review. Actually, review anyway! Or I'll stick Princess Charmings after you. :P**

**Oh, and Skittles got to edit her lines. To death.**

**R&R?**


	3. C3:MiniPoetry Corner!

Moi: Okay, so because of Saint's and Skittles' Poetry Corners, I've decided I'm going to write some poetry and put it in here!

Max: Run for your lives!

Moi: Shut UP, Max! Anyway, here goes.

My grandmother's in the hospital

**Hospital rhymes with, uh, HI SKITTLES!**

**It's all because of her knees, you see**

**Hey, Max, look! Over there is a flea!**

Moi: Hey, that was actually fun!

Max: You suck at poetry, you know.

Moi: Yeah, I do, but it was still fun! Oh, and, by the way, it's currently 1:21AM!

Max: That would explain the bad poetry… Hey, are you ever going to explain the poem?

Moi: Oh, right. Well, see, my grandmother's been in and out of the hospital since the March before last, because of her knees. Right now, she's in the hospital, which isn't exactly a bad thing…

Max: Vera's grandmother asks us to do stuff. Constantly. And when we do whatever it is she asks us to do, she asks us to do ten _more_ things, and- yeah.

Moi: And here's more bad poetry!

Max: -groans-

My grandmother asks us to do stuff

**I have no time to write any fluff**

**I hide in my bedroom, all day long**

**I hope I won't have to wear a thong**

Max: A _thong!?_

Moi I couldn't think of anything else that rhymed!

Max: But a _thong!?_

Moi: Fine, then, _you_ write some poetry!

Max: Alright, I will!

I've been kidnapped by Vera-dear

**I see her, then cower in fear**

**She call me something oh-oh-cee**

**And she just pointed at a flea**

Moi: -cracks up- You call that _good!?_

Max: it sounded good in my head…

Moi: Alright, my turn!

Earlier, I ate a lot of Fritos

**Six servings in all, I like Doritos**

**They are owned by that Lays Chip Company**

**I can't think of what rhymes with 'company'**

Moi: That, again, sucked, but it was still fun!

Max: -shakes head in despair-

Moi: Oh, and I might change the title of this fanfic, again.

Max: _Again!?_

Moi: Yes, Max, _again_. But it's not definite. I'll let you guys know about what I decide. I JUST REALIZED THAT I NEVER CHANGED IT FROM "Conversation with Maximum Ride Fan" TO "Nutty Is My Middle Name" ON MY PROFILE!!! Oopsies…

Max: -bangs head against wall- How about we stop with the poetry?

Moi: Okay… so, then, what'll we do?

Max: Um…

Cathy Candles: Hi!

Moi: What's _she_ doing here!?

Max: Who the heck is Cathy Candles!?

Moi: It's my nickname for Catherine Hardwicke.

Cathy Candles: I wrecked the Twilight movie! And I'll probably wreck the Maximum Ride movie, too! Nice to meet you.

Max: WTF!?

Moi: I preprogrammed MSW to edit her lines. So now she admit everything I want her to!

Cathy Candles: I like cheese.

Max: Oh kay…

Shakira from the speakers: _I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie, and I'm starting to feel you boy…_

Moi: Hey, where's Java? She's, like, disappeared off the face off of the earth, or something…

Max: I don't know…

Moi: Idea!

Max: CRAP! –ducks-

Moi: -glares at Max and clears throat-

Java Runtime Error, my dear

**I, Vera, command you to appear!**

Java: -appears- Whaaa…?

Moi: -claps- It really works! –giggles- Saint was right!

Java: -blinks slowly-

Cathy Candles: Butterflies taste like macaroni!

Max: -bangs head against wall-

Moi: -clears throat again-

Max: $#%!!! –dives for cover-

**I want some bubblegum**

**It's so double yum!**

-bubblegum magically appears-

Moi: Yay!

Max: Oh, crap…

~five minutes later~

Moi: Ilovebubblegumdontyoulovebubblegummaxitssogoodtastingandyummyandchockedfullofsugarandallandwantsomebubblegummaxitssupergoodareyousureyoudontwantsomeihaveabunchhereandidontmind!

Max: This is why you don't give a FanFiction writer bubblegum. They turn into Nudge and bounce off the ceiling.

Moi: -bounces off the ceiling- Herewheresjavabecauseirealywantedtotalktojava aboutsomethingorotherbuticantrememberwhatthatsomethingorotherisbutwhateveriwanttotalktoheranyway!

Java: I'm right here…

Moi: Youguyshavesogottocheckoutthisvideo! youtube . com/ watch?v=gg5_mlQOsUQ Justtakeoutthespacesandyesiknowimspammingbutstillthisvideoishilariousandthemusicsactuallysortofprettykindofgood!!!

Max: -bangs head against wall-

Moi: Youknowhowifoundthisvideo!? feelingluckyandthispoppedup! Ohandijustcountedandirealizedihave718total messagesinmyemailisntthatalotwellithinksoandthefunnythingisthatallbutnineteenofthosemessagesareinthemiscellaneousfoldersihaveinmyemail!

Java: Tell me that made sense to someone…

Max: I doubt it.

Java: Darn.

Max: -shoves Vera out the door as she talks super fastly about random things- Right-o… in other news, Vera has applied for a job!

Java: Does what she applied for seriously count as a job?

Max: Well, by Vera it counts… she'll probably put it on her resume in later life, or something…

Java: Anyway, Vera applied for a position at Skittles' OC Heardquarters.

Max: Of course, we have no idea if she'll get the job… but, knowing Skittles, she probably will.

Java: Yuppers. Why the heck is "Stacy's Mom" blaring from the speakers!?

Max: Vera has a new obsession with it… yah, I know… whacko…

Java: Didja ever notice you use a ton of ellipses?

Max: Oh, shut up!

Moi: Hi guys! I'm back! Sorry about the sugar high… bubblegum does that to FanFiction writers.

Max: We knew that.

Java: Mhm.

Moi: Anyway, what have you guys been talking about? –scrolls up- Ahhh… yeah, I did apply. It'll be my first job!

Max: -facepalms-

Java: How about we stop now, before we do something we will all regret?

Moi: Good idea. Anyway, the next chapter'll be up… sometime…

Java: Cat food ya'lls'!

Max: Not you, too!


	4. C4:A Venture into Psychotropica

Java: -waves- Hi! I'm Java.

Max: And I'm Max.

Java: I'm Vera's personal assistant-

Max: I'm her kidnappee.

Java: Right, and Vera's busy, off doing something… or other…

Max: I think she's trying to find her purple notebook…

Java: Doesn't she have nineteen or so purple notebooks?

Max: Yeah…

Java: Anyway, Max and I are taking over Nutty! No poetry this time, thankfully.

Max: Yes, and we're going to start by checking out Vera's USB flash drive (since she never saves anything anywhere but on there…)

Java: Why is there nothing when you open it but a file named "USB Drive"?

Max: She had a different computer, and she had to send it off, so she created that folder and dragged all of her stuff into it.

Java: Oh kay…

Max: Now it's Folders, My Documents, and Timmy Pix

Java: I don't even want to know who Timmy is…

Max: I think he's the cat… let's check out My Documents! –clicks- WHOA… that girl has waaay too many folders…

Java: Bluetooth Exchange Folder… Downloads… FanFiction… Junky Other Stuff… LimeWire… Lyrical Powerpoints... Miscellaneous and To Be Sorted… My Music… My Pictures… My Videos… OneNote Notebooks… Poetry and Music… RealFiction… Saved… Schoolwork… SketchPad Backgrounds… Visual Studio 2005…

Max: I have no idea what half that stuff is. Bluetooth Exchange Folders? Junky Other Stuff? Lyrical Powerpoints? SketchPad Backgrounds? Visual Studio 2005? WTF IS ALL OF THAT!!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!!!?!?!??!?!?!!?

Java: I don't think _Vera_ knows what half of that stuff is. Here, let me randomly choose a folder…

Max: Miscellaneous and To Be Sorted? I don't think I want to know…

Java: Hm… Address Book… Believe… Bre-Chapter 1… computershortcuts21209… Copy of Are You Smart… WTH is a dot-eye-en-eye!?

Max: .ini? I have no idea… let's get out of here…

Java: Good idea! I wonder what she has written in FanFiction…

Max: That might not be such a good idea-

Java: -clicks-

Max: Aw, cool! She has 53 files in here! –scrolls- What's "Poor Fang"?

Java: I dunno. –clicks-

Max: -reads and proceeds to crack up- Let's show a random excerpt to our readers!

Java: Sure!

_When his brain had been completely sucked out, he was untied and dragged across the ground toward a giant pit of multi-colored Jell-o that had a piano in it. He was dropped into said pit._

_Dumped after him were a very large number of coloring books._

_Oblivious to the Jell-o, piano, and aforementioned brain suckage, Fang grabbed a coloring book and turned to a random page. He then proceeded to shout at the top of his longs, "ROMEO, ROMEO, LET DOWN YOUR HAIR! WHETHER BE IN THICK OR THIN I WILL ALWAYS THINK YOU FAT! MAY YOUR LIFE BE TAINTED BY CHEESE! F-F-F-FUNKYT-T-T-TRON! YA-YAHOO-HOO! GO DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER! PEPPERS AND MILKSHAKES!"_

_This was followed by a very large period of silence._

Max: How the heck does she come up with all this stuff!?

Java: I wouldn't go there…

Max: -clicks on "A Venture into Psychotropica"-

***WORMHOLE***

Max: -falls out of wormhole- - stares at the neon green sky and sits up-

Java: -does the same as Max-

Max: What happened!?

Java: -glares at Max- I told you not to go there! You know how Vera hides wormholes in her links…

Max: -sighs- I forgot. –looks around at the very… interesting scenery, which is essentially the neon green sky, neon orange grass, neon yellow trees, neon pink clouds, etc, and that's so neon that it hurt to look at, but of course _everything_ hurts to look at, so you were going to get a headache unless you found a blindfold that wasn't neon colored- -stands up, dusts neon orange grass off lap, and turns in slow circle- How do we get out of here…?

Java: -stands up- I think we have to find another wormhole.

Max: How on Earth are we going to find another wormhole!? It's not like we brought one with us…

Java: -grins- No, but this is Psychotropica! Anything is possible here…

Max: Anything Vera can imagine, anyway.

Java: -nod- So what's a FF or MF where there's a wormhole?

Max: -thinks- Well, I don't remember any wormholes, but I do remember a portal…

Java: -claps- I remember that one! –clears throat- PORTAL!

Max: No tell-tale green circle's appeared.

Java: -frowns and tries again- -And again-

Max: -joins in- Neither of us can seem to make it work…

Java: -sighs- I wonder why we can't make a portal… If only we had Melanie I-O here… she would figure something out. She rigged a shuttle, right?

Melanie I-O: -appears-

Java and Max: -jump backwards in surprise-

Melanie: -sighs- Oh, C'MON! This is, to borrow a line from Sydney I-O, or maybe Jess 16th, Psiccy Trop, is it not? That means anything Vera can imagine is possible! And we all know that Vera has a _huge_ imagination… she comes up with the whackiest of ideas…

Max: But why didn't the portal work!?

Melanie; -pulls lollipop out of pocket, yanks wrapper off, and sticks in mouth.- Bauz Vree zess precones opp anst tuh.

Java: -looks very confuzzled- Huh?

Melanie: -rolls eyes and takes lollipop out of mouth- I said, 'Because Vera has protections up against it.'

Java: But why does she have protections up against it?

Melanie: -laughs- 'Cuz she's as paranoid as hockey sticks. Here, follow me… the only way you guys can get out it by going to the Sacred Malamute.

Max: The _what!?_

Melanie: The Sacred Malamute. It's this pun she came up with a while ago… it's a statue of the Sacred Malamute, who's, like, this MR god. Don't ask me; Vera's almonds. Anyway, the Sacred Malamute is the only entrance and exit to Psychotropica, other than wormholes.

Java: Then lets head off to the Sacred Malamute!

Melanie: -begins walking in what appears to be a random direction-

Java and Max: -follow anyway, since they have nowhere else to go-

~around an hour later…~

(They encounter a lot of strange things)

~around _another_ hour later…~

Max: Are we there yet?

Melanie: No.

Max: Are we there yet?

Melanie: No.

Max: Are we there _yet_!?

Melanie: No.

Max: Are we-

Melanie: No, no, no, no, and no! Now shut up!

Max: -obliges-

The Sacred Malamute: -appears-

Java: AH!

Max: AH!

Melanie: HA!

The Sacred Malamute: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…

~ten minutes later~

The Sacred Malamute: …III… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…

~ten minutes later~

The Sacred Malamute: …MMM… TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT….

~ten minutes later~

The Sacred Malamute: …EEE… SSSSSSSSS-

Max: Okay, okay, I think we get it! You're the Sacred Malamute! Now let us out of the whacko place!

The Sacred Malamute: -----ooooopppppeeeeennnnnsssss mmmmmooooouuuuuttttthhhhh-----

Java: Yikes! It even _moves_ in slo-mo!

Max: Let's get outta here!

Java and Max: -walk towards the Sacred Malamute's mouth-

Max and Java: -walk into the Sacred Malamute's mouth-

***WORMHOLE***

Java: -falls out of wormhole and lands on Vera's bed-

Max: -does the same as Java- Okay, so checking out her USB drive might not be such a good idea… let's try her links!

Java: Please save me!

Max: In case you guys are wondering, Vera has different links now! She changed from a PC to a Mac. –clicks- … … .com… what the- oh, wait, that's her school! Um… .com… … darn it! That's all she has!

Java: How about we go back to her USB drive and avoid anything that says 'venture' or 'journey' or 'trip'?

Max: Sure! And if we go through another wormhole, I blame you.

Java: Uh…

Max: -clicks- Okay, so we're back in FanFiction. –scolls- Hey Java, what's this? –points-

Java: -peers over shoulder- Oh, that! Yeah, that's her crossover…

Max: Shall we send our readers an excerpt?

Java: Um…

Max: That's a yes! –clicks-

_Alice looked at a guy with short, brown hair. He had the same kind of pallor as Alice. Maybe there were siblings? He didn't look at all like Alice at all... though he did have a resemblance to Reneesme._

_He nodded. Then he stared right at Angel. They stared at each other for a few minutes, and all of us were silent. Then his gaze darted to me. "So, this Voice, did it say anything about why you were sent here?"_

_I choked. "What!?"_

"_Edward can read minds, too." Angel explained. I assumed 'Edward' was the guy who had been staring at Angel. A woman who looked nothing like Edward or Alice but, again, had that same pallor, asked, "Edward?"_

_Edward replied, "It seems we have an… _interesting_ situation on our hands."_

Moi: Hey, guys, what're you up to?

Java: CRAP! CLICK THE 'X'!

Max: -clicks- Nothing Vera…

Moi: Are you sure?

Java: Yup. Did you find your purple notebook?

Moi: No, but I found the black one, and it turns out what I was looking for was in that one, so hey…

Max: This here fanfic'll get updated next Tuesday. See ya!

Java: Wouldn't want to be ya!

Disclaimer: Dog food!

Moi: Cat food!


	5. C5:The cute widdle Fang pwushie wuvs Max

Max: _Je ne aime pas tu!_

Chicago: _Je ne aime pas tu!_

Max: _Tu es fromage!_

Moi: Crap...

Java: Did Max just call Chicky 'cheese'?

Chicago: _JE NE AIME PAS TU JAVA!!!_

Java: Oopsies. Forgot she doesn't like the name Chicky...

Max: _Va a la mauvais endroit!_

Moi: Wow... their French sucks...

Java: I'd imagine Croissant's is much better.

Scarlett: -runs in- What's going on here!?

Moi: Chicago escaped from the guard station, and found Max...

Chicago: _TU ES UNE MAUVAIS PERSONNE!_

Scarlett: And _why_ are they fighting?

Java: In When Worlds Collide, Chicago's the *beep so you guys don't get spoilers*. Y'know, Max's archenemy?

Scarlett: Oh, riiight...

Max: _Tu es un fromage banana!_

Java: Tell me she didn't just call Chicago a cheese banana...

Moi: She did. -facepalm- C'mon, let's separate them.

Moi, Java, and Scarlett (my new secretary): -try to separate Max and Chicago-

Max and Chicago: -will not be separated-

Moi: Well, that sucked.

Java: You're telling me.

Moi: Hey, Max! If you stop fighting, you can have this Fang pwushie! -holds up Fang pwushie-

Max: -runs over and grabs Fang pwushie- My Fang pwushie... Mine... All mine...

Moi: -grins- Works every time.

Chicago: -lunges at Max-

Max: -whacks with Fang pwushie and snarls- MY FANG PWUSHIE!

Chicago: -whimpers-

Moi: Good Max. C'mhere Chicky... we need to get you back to the DOC (pronounced 'dock') room.

Chicago: -whimpers again-

Moi: -sighs and grabs Chicago's arm- C'mon... -drags out of room- Java, go stick Max in the closet with a life-sized Fang pwushie, wouldja?

Java: Sure.

Max: Life-sized Fang pwushie!? Where!?

Java: -points at closet-

Max: -dives into closet- FANG PWUSHIE! -cuddles with life-sized Fang pwushie-

Moi: Wow... Max is really OOC...

Java: Hey, Vera?

Moi: Yeah?

Java: Whatever happened to Crusoe?

Moi: ...Crap.

Java: -facepalm-

Moi: ...Maybe we should go find him...

Java: Well, I doubt we'll get Max's help...

Max: MY FANG PWUSHIE! -cuddles-

Scarlett: -facepalm- Well, I can help you... I don't have a strange OOC obsession with Fang pwushies...

Moi: He's probably wandering around the Oak Tower.

Scarlett: I've always wondered... what exactly _is_ the Oak Tower?

Java: It's where Vera stores all of the OCs. Try sounding 'OC' out. It's sort of like 'oak', right?

Moi: So I call it the Oak Tower.

Scarlett: Ooohhh...

Moi: C'mon. Let's leave Max to her Fang pwushie and go find Crusoe... hey, when did I publish JRE (pronounced 'juh-ree')?

Java: Ummm... -thinks- July?

Moi: CRAP! That means he's been wandering around the Oak Tower for a month...

Java: Well, then, we better go find 'im!

Scarlett: Hey, Vera, which key's the Oak Tower? -holds up very large rings of dozens of keys-

Moi: Ummm... well, that's the house key... that's the car key... that's the shed key... that's the mailbox key... that's the OC cabinet key... that's the room key... that's the doll cabinet key... that's the closet key... I think it's this- no, that's the handcuff key... that's the interrogation room key... that's the safe key... that's the dresser key... that's the bike key... that's the DOC key... that's the file cabinet key...

Java: How many keys do you _have!?_

Moi: A lot. I think I fou- no, that's the bathroom key. Darn it. That's the locker key... that's the basement key... that's CKCC (pronounced 'kick') key... that's the bookcase key... oh, wait, I don't have a bookcase key! I found it!

Scarlett: -yawns- Huh? Oh, good, took you long enough...

Moi: -whacks with herring-

Saint: -appears- Copyright (C) St. Fang of Boredom and The National Republic of Canadia -disappears-

Moi: -facepalm-

Java: C'mon, let's head to Oak Tower...

Moi: -presses button on the wall that says 'Oak Tower'-

***WORMHOLE***

Java: -falls out of wormhole and stumbles-

Scarlett: -falls out of wormhole and falls on face-

Moi: -falls out of wormhole and lands gracefully-

Scarlett: Show-off.

Moi: -sticks tongue out- I've just had more practice than you. So, Java, you were married to Crusoe for twenty-one years... where would he be?

Java: Um... -scratches head- For some reason, he has an attraction to janitor closets...

Moi: CRAP! He'll be with Janice, then...

Scarlett: Janice? Why Janice?

Moi: I hired her as the janitor. Janitor Janice. Has a nice ring to it.

Java: Well, where's the janitor closet?

Moi: Follow me! -walks off in a seemingly random direction-

Java and Scarlett: Ohkay...

***TIME LAPSE***

Java: Crusoe! There you are! Get over here...

Crusoe: ...

Moi: Crusoe, get over here before I stick you in the DOC room with only a rusty metal spork to protect yourself with.

Crusoe: -scuttles over-

Moi: Good Crusoe.

Java: Crusoe! Come back to me! WAAAH!!!

Scarlett: -facepalm-

Moi: Java.

Java: Yeppers?

Moi: Go find me my purple notebook.

Java: Kay-key!

Scarlett: You know you have eighteen purple notebooks, right?

Moi: Yup! -grins-

Scarlett: -palmface-

Moi: Now, Crusoe, I need you to do something for me, 'kay?

Crusoe: -nods-

Moi: I need you to go find Max and her Fang plushie, 'kay?

Crusoe: -nods ad scuttles off-

Scarlett: Well, that worked well.

Moi: Now what to do...?

Scarlett: Hm... How about some more poetry?

Moi: Sounds cool!

* * *

**Scarlett is my new secretary**

**Chicago is my new bodyguard**

**Neither of those two are that hairy**

**I hired them just now in my yard

* * *

**

Scarlett: Maybe that's not such a good idea...

Moi: Let's do more!

Scarlett: -gulps-

* * *

**How I love cheese puffs**

**They taste not so rough**

**I love to eat them**

**Though orange on my hem

* * *

**

Scarlett: -facepalm- That didn't even make sense.

Moi: Yes it did! See, I love cheese puffs, they don't taste rough, I love to eat them, and they get orange stuff on my shirt hem!

Scarlett: -headwall- How about we stop with the poetry?

Moi: Okay, so what do we do, then?

Scarlett: How about... we check out how many people view your FFs?

Moi: Okay! -hits button that says 'Bedroom'-

***WORMHOLE***

Scarlett: -falls out of wormhole and lands on feet, but falls to knees- Aw, darn it...

Moi: -falls out of wormhole and lands gracefully, again-

Scarlett: C'mon. Let's look this stuff up.

Moi: Okay!

Max: -from the closet- I just wuv my widdle Fang pwushie... -cuddles-

Scarlett: Oh, look! Bleach has seventy-five hits!

Moi: In just five days? Wow... what about Dates?

Scarlett: _Two hundred and nine _hits.

Moi: AWESOME! And Dresses?

Scarlett: Hm...

Max: My widdle Fang pwushie wuvs me dis much! -holds arms out-

Scarlett: Ninety-four hits.

Moi: Cool! What's next?

Scarlett: IMing... _**one thousand three hundred and twenty-two**_ hits.

Moi: ...Wow...

Scarlett: You're telling me. Next is JRE, which has seventy-one hits.

Moi: Sa-weet. Matter's next, right? How many hits does it get?

Scarlett: Seventy-seven... hey, wait, shouldn't Java be doing this? She's your personal assistant; I'm just your secretary.

Moi: Oh, riiight... you go off and do some secretarial things.

Scarlett: -jogs off-

Moi: JAVA!

Java: Yeppers?

Moi: You're helping me since it's _your_ job, not Scarlett's.

Java: Yeah, yeah, gimme a minute...

-loud crashing noise-

Moi: What was _that!?_

Java: Nothing... hold on... okay, done. What do you want me to do?

Moi: -sighs- How many hits does Nutty have?

Java: Um... -looks-sixty-four.

Moi: -grumbles-

Java: Any-way... Nonsense has fifty-four hits, Randomosity has two, and Sure Ways has nine hundred and twenty-five.

Moi: NINE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE!?

Java: That's what it says.

Moi: AWESOME! To all my readers: Please note that this is just fluff/filler since I actually have no idea what to type...

Java: You got that right.

Moi: -whacks with herring-

Saint: -appears- Copyright (C) St. Fang of Boredom and The National Republic of Canadia. -disappears-

Moi: -sighs- Not again... Oh, wait, that reminds me!

Java: Uh-oh. What does it remind you?

Moi: Squeedom!

Java: Oh, that! Did you tell Skittles you typed up you guys' email conversation?

Moi: No, but I'll bet she read this, and I'll bet she'll know then!

Java: Ohkay...

Moi: Hows about I give you guys a random excerpt?

Readers: YAY!

Moi: Alrighty then. Java?

Java: -mumbles something incoherent- Right, right...

_You mean, you, Iggy, me, Max, Java, and Angel shall rule Squeedom. We shall be the rulers, Iggy your assistant, Max and Java my assistants, and Angel as a Deathly Overload ruling us._

_Our Northern subject shall be Stephenie Meyer, and our Southern subject shall be James Patterson. Those that reign under Stephenie shall be called the Clergymen, and those that reign under James shall be called the Priestesses. Those the reign under the Clergymen will be the Pianettes. Those that reign under the Priestesses will be the Caramel Fugitives._

_And then we figure out the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle...it's a giant cookie that everyone wants so they drown trying to get it..._

_Yes, and we send Max off to retrieve the cookie since we know only she can succeed and she does love cookies..._

Max: COOKIES!!!

Moi: -groans- Max, go back to your Fang pwushie. Stay there until you become NOOC. PLEASE!

Max: Kay-key!

Janice: -pops up out of nowhere- Did you ever notice how 'kay-key' sounds like 'cakey'?

Moi and Java: AH!

Janice: -rolls eyes- Oh, puh-leez...

Java and moi: HA!

Janice: -facepalm- Anysways- -falls flat on face- Zoi.

Moi and Java: EH!

Janice: -jumps to feet- Anysways-

Java and moi: HE!

Janice: -I just-

Moi and Java: IH!

Janice: -finished-

Java and moi: HI!

Janice: -cleaning-

Moi and Java: OH!

Janice: -the-

Java and moi: HO!

Janice: -Oak Tower. Are you going to-

Moi and Java: HU!

Janice: -shut up now? Guess not...

Java and moi: UH!

Janice: Okay, so you've gone through all the vowels, and you should be-

Moi and Java: YH!

Janice: -done. How do you even say 'yh'!?

Java and moi: HY!

Janice: You're crazy-

Moi and Java: HÀ!

Janice: Okay, seriously, that doesn't even-

Java and moi: ÀH!

Janice: -count. -groans-

Moi and Java: HÁ!

Janice: Can you just _shut up already!?_

Java and moi: ÁH!

Janice: Okay, that's it, I'm calling a men-

Moi and Java: HÁ!

Janice: -tal institution to take-

Java and moi: ÂH!

Janice: -you away and-

Moi and Java: HÂ!

Janice: -give you medication so-

Java and moi: ÈH!

Janice: -you aren't a threat to society and-

Moi and Java: HÈ!

Janice: -so you don't en-

Java and moi: ÉH!

Janice: -danger yourselves further-

Moi and Java: HÉ!

Janice: -than you already have. CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP AL-

Java and moi: ÊH!

Janice: -ready. -sighs- Why me?

Moi and Java: HÊ!

Janice: -bangs head against wall-

Java and moi: ÌH!

Janice: Let's finish up-

Moi and Java: HÌ!

Janice: -before they-

Java and moi: ÍH!

Janice: -start with the-

Moi and Java: HÍ!

Janice: -German or Polish-

Java and moi:ÎH!

Janice: -accents, 'cause-

Moi and Java: HÎ!

Janice: -you know they will.

Java and moi: ÒH!

Janice: Goodbye now!

Moi and Java: HÒ!

Max: My cute widdle Fang pwushie wuvs me... -cuddles some more-

Java and moi: ÓH!

Janice: -sighs-


	6. C6:Furry and Unfurry Minkles galore!

Moi: You know what I've decided, Max?

Max: Do I even_ want_ to know?

Moi: Probably not. I'm going to make a T-shirt that says "Minkle Fur Company" on the front!

Max: ...

Moi: And then on the back, it's going to say "Minkle Fur Company and all associated franchises are owned solely by me also known as Vera A also known as simba1timmy also known as that girl on who is totally random and completely nutzoid. If you would like your very own minkle fur item, please PM me and I will send you a form to fill out so you can purchase your very own minkle fur item. Any website saying that they are selling a minkle fur item without the Minkle Fur Company copyright which is located at the bottom of the T-shirt is not a legitimate minkle fur item selling website and is simply trying to scam you out of your money that you worked so hard for or didn't work so hard for. If you discover such a website claiming to sell minkle fur items, please PM me. All minkle fur items are custom and hand made and come with a lifetime warranty or lifetime guarantee, whichever you prefer. The furry minkles used in the creation of minkles fur items are proudly grown in my own front yard, thank you very much. For a list of prices on minkle fur items, please PM me or contact one of my associates as listed on my profile page. If you are unsure where to go to view my profile page then go to http :/ /www . fanfiction . net / ~veraa and that will take you directly to my profile page. Thank you for taking the time to read this incredibly lengthy T-shirt. Copyright (c) Minkle Fur Company"

Max: -facepalms- I don't even want to know where you come up with this stuff...

Moi: The word "minkle" is now accepted by SpellCheck! Yay! Oh, and Max?

Max: What?

Moi: I already have the thing that will go on the back of the T-shirt typed up in Paint!

Max: -sighs-

Moi: Okay, so I'm weird. We all know that, but I'm talking about a particular thing. Of course, it can't be _extremely_ weird, since Skittles (Fangalicous08) and Saint (St. Fang of Boredom) feel the same way about it.

Max: You're talking about what I think you're talking about, aren't you?

Moi: Probably, but I'm no Angel or Edward. What I want you guys to do is, FLAME ME!

Max: Her reasoning is that she's never, not once, gotten what she qualifies as a flame, so she's asking you guys to send her flames.

Moi: Yes, and if you do, my reply with be "Thanks for flaming! :) Vera". Which reminds me of something, but I'll tell you guys about it in a minute. Okay, so what I qualify as a flame is something that is extremely unhelpful, and just says how horrible the FF is. It doesn't say anything about how to make it unhorrible, it just says it's horrible. And the other thing I wanted to say is that I reply to every single review I get, even if it's just a smiley face.

Max: Which is why we spend HOURS replying to reviews...

Moi: -whacks with furry minkle- I don't get that many reviews. Anyway, my email is superfolderized, and once I get a review, read it, and reply to it, I send it to the "Reviews" folder (or if it's for IMing, to the "IMing Reviews" folder). However, sometimes I accidentally send it to its folder without replying first, and if I've ever done that to any of you, review again! And no, this is not _just _a ploy to get you guys to review. If you review and tell me I didn't reply to a previous review of yours, then I'll reply to that review, then go back, find the review you sent me before, and reply to _that_. See how nice I am?

Max: -rolls eyes-

Moi: -whacks with furry minkle-

Max: Ow. She also has a habit of replying to every single PM or review reply that she gets until the other person stops replying back.

Moi: Yuppers!

Max: Hey, are you working on a Sissa oneshot and a Missa oneshot _at the same time!?_

Moi: You betcha!

Max: Well, this is interesting... and, just so you know, I HATE LISSA!

Moi: Yes, I think we established that... Hm...

Max: What?

Moi: Skittles hasn't replied yet... I've got an idea!

Max: -ducks-

Moi: -rolls eyes- Very funny, Max. Ahem. -points in random direction-

**Ella Martinez I command you to appear**

**Show up in front of me and then you will live here!**

Ella: -appears- If one angle of a triangle is 90 degrees and one of the other angles is known, the third is thereby fixed, because the three angles of any triangle add up to 180 degrees. The two acute angles therefore add up to 90 degrees: they are complementary angles. The shape of a right triangle is completely determined, up to similarity, by the angles. This means that once one of the other angles is known, the ratios of the various sides are always the same regardless of the overall size of the triangle. These ratios- WHOA! You're not the students I'm tutoring!

Moi: You can quote entire sections of Wikipedia? Awesome! Oh, and hi Ella! I'm Vera, your new kidnapper.

Ella: Hi. The entire flock's been kidnapped... I think Max was kidnapped first... either her or Fang...

Max: -pops up- ELLA!

Ella: MAX!

Max and Ella: -run toward each other-

Max: She kidnapped you, too!?

Ella: Yeah, she did! I was tutoring some kids when, suddenly, I was here!

Max: Yeah! That's what sort of happened with me! Well, not the tutoring part, bur I was flying over some town in Arizona when, suddenly, I was flying across Vera's room!

Moi: Alright, let me explain the rules and show you around, Ella.

Ella: Kay-key!

Janice: -pops up out of nowhere- Cakey, oh cakey, cakey cakey cake!

Moi: -whacks Janice with furry minkle- Okay, so Ella, you'll be sleeping in there. -points to shelf in closet- It's nice and comfy, since all my souvenir shirts that don't fit anymore are up there.

Ella: That's kind of a tiny bed, don'tcha think?

Moi: Max has to sleep in the doll cabinet. -points-

Ella: -stares- I love my bed!

Moi: -smiles- That's what I want to hear. Now, there are some rules you must abide to _at all time_, you hear?

Ella: -nods-

Moi: Okay, rule number one: No running away.

Ella: I know your fanfiction writer magic would stop me in a heartbeat, so I wouldn't dare...

Moi: Good. Ruler number two: If you make a mess, you clean it up. However, this ruler does not apply to me. If I make a mess, you help me clean it up.

Ella: Uh... okay...

Moi: Ruler number three: You will do as I say, even if you don't want to do it.

Ella: I got that...

Moi: Rule number four: You will be at my side the moment I call for you, _no matter what you're doing_.

Ella: -nods-

Moi: Rule number five: You will not complain.

Ella: Okay, got it, is that it?

Moi: Yuppers! Now it's time to show you around and introduce to everyone!

Ella: Cool!

Moi: Okay, so let me show you around my house, first. -shows around house- And now, it's time to introduce you to everyone!

Max: Uh-oh...

Moi: -pushes big button on the wall that says Oak Tower-

***WORMHOLE***

Moi: -lands gracefully, like a cat-

Max: -stumbles a tiny bit-

Moi: You're getting better at it, Max!

Ella: -falls flat on face-

Moi: -helps Ella up- You'll get the hang of it eventually... right-o. OCS FRONT AND CENTER!

OCs: -appear-

Moi: Okay, so that's Chicago, my bodyguard; Croissant Pastries, she helps me with French; Crusoe, he's your kid, actually; Hannah Cyrus; Janice, my janitor; Java Runtime Error, my personal assistant, you'll get to know her well; then there's the fuzz-fighters, Johnnay, Johncy, Johnny, and Johnty; and that's Larry, he's my cameraman and photographer, but he's kinda sexist-

Max:KINDA!?

Moi: -that's Leeanna; Miley Montana, who is Hannah's alter ego; Norman Quacks, he's an complete and total idiot; Perassis, who is the most random person I have ever met, _ever;_ and, finally, Scarlett Mayleaf, my secretary.

Ella: Hiya everyone!

Max: How can you be so perky!?

Ella: What do you mean?

Max: You just got kidnapped!

Ella: -turns to me- When did Max become emo?

Moi: -shrugs- I'll have to take her in for a cleaning...

Max: -eyes bug out- PLEASE! NO CLEANING! -begs-

Ella: I don't think I want to know what a cleaning is...

Moi: You probably don't.

Max: -Bambi Eyes-

Moi: Must... resist... okay, you won't get cleaned, Max.

Max: Yayzzles!

Moi: -facepalms- When did Max lose her mind?

Ella: Probably when she learned that Fang had been kidnapped, as well...

Java: Hey, Vera, aren't you supposed to be watching a CFE recording?

Moi: It's playing the background. Besides, I'll get you to watch it, then make a summary for me! -smiles-

Java: -sighs-

Ella: CFE recording?

Max: It's a Computer Fundamentals Elluminate recording. Vera abbreviates everything.

Moi: Yuppers! -whacks Java with furry minkle-

Java: Ow! What was that for!?

Moi: So you wouldn't say 'yeppers'.

Ella: Oh-kay... -thinks- _They're crazy..._

Moi: Iggy's winning on my poll!?

Scarlett: -pops up- By forty-two percent, much less.

Ella: Who's in second?

Scarlett: -checks- Max, with twenty-one percent.

Max: Yayzzles!

Java: Then Fang's in third with fourteen percent...

Scarlett: And Gazzy, Ella-

Ella: Yayzzles!

Scarlett: -and Ari are tied for fourth place with seven percent.

Java: Nudge, Angel, Total, Dr. Martinez, Jeb, Lissa or Sam, ter Borscht, Akila or Magnolia, and Brigid have no votes.

Moi: Hey, everyone, go vote! It's at the top of my profile page.

Max: Lookie! -points- A ploy to get you to view her profile page! See, she only has 309 hits, and she wants 500.

Moi: Yes, but there is a reason for that. Whenever I get fifty votes for the poll, I'm going to do a oneshot about whatever character is winning.

Ella: Vote for me! Vote for me!

Max: -whacks with furry minkle- Don't vote for her! She kicks kittens! Vote for me! Me me me!

Ella: -whacks repeatedly with furry minkle-

Moi: -whacks 'em both with Unfurry Minkle-

Scarlett: Don't why to know why you have _un_furry minkles... don't want to know... really...

Unfurry Minkle: NOBODY LIKES ME! WAAAH!

Moi: -whacks with Furry Minkle #9-

Furry Minkle #9: I don't want to touch that bald rat!

Moi: -whacks with Unfurry Minkle-

Unfurry Minkle and Furry Minkle #9: CHARGE! -attack each other-

Moi: -separates minkles- Be nice or you get turned into a coat!

Minkles: -are silent-

Ella: ...-cracks up-

Moi: -squeals- I just got a review!!!

Java: What does it say?

Moi: -reads and shows Java-

Java -cracks up-

Ella and Max: Let me see!

Moi: -shows-

Ella: Hi again, Iggy! -waves-

Moi: Bye again, Iggy! -waves- Anyway... SQUEE!!! I GOT ANOTHER HIT TO MY PROFILE PAGE!!!

Max: Just one? Wow, you're whacky...

Moi: -whacks with furry minkle-

Max: QUIT IT WITH THE FURRY MINKLES!

Furry Minkles #1, #2, #4, #5, #6, #7, and #9: Please!

Moi: Nope!

Ella: ...Since when can furry minkles talk?

Max: Since line 43 page 3.

Ella: Oh-kay... -thinks- _Whacko_.

Max: I HEARD THAT!

Moi: Not unless you're Angel, Edward, or have fanfiction writer magic...

Max: Oh.

Moi: I'm done!

Ella: With what?

Moi: My September calendar. Wanna see it?

Ella: Sure!

Moi: -shows-

Ella: Oh, cool!

Moi: The maximum (no pun intended) hours of sleep I can get tonight is eight!

Java: Why's that?

Moi: I have to wake up at seven.

Ella: Why?

Max: English 3 Elluminate at 7. -shudders-

Java: That's the class with Mr. A, isn't it?

Moi: Yup.

Java: -stares wide-eyed at wall-

Ella: He's _that_ bad?

Moi: No, not really, he's just... him.

Ella: Huh?

Max: He's teaches college English and he says "ain't".

Ella: Ahhh...

Scarlett: Wait, I'm confuzzled...

Moi: He's really strict, 'cause, like, I only got two 100s last year, but, then, he says "ain't", and he hates research papers.

Scarlett: Oh!

Ella: I think we should go now, before we start having in-depth conversations about whales, or something...

Moi: WHALES!

Max: -facepalm-

Scarlett: Bye!

Ella: See ya!

Max: Wouldn't want to be ya!

Java: Birdkid food!

Furry Minkles #1, #2, #4, #5, #6, #7, #9, and Unfurry Minkle: Minkle food!

Moi: Avey osi!

Max: Not _that_ again...

Moi: -rolls eyes-


	7. C7:Lily visits! Angel gets a minkle?

Moi: I've changed my mind!

Max: Oh... kay...

Moi: Let's say Iggy wins the poll. Then I'll do another poll, Which Iggy pairing do you like best? Eggy, Niggy, Miggy, or Figgy? And let's also say that Eggy wins. Then I'll write an Eggy oneshot. How does that sound?

Max: You're not actually giving them a choice, aren't you?

Moi: Nope! Oh, and I get to go to Barnes and Noble later! Yayness!

Max: You haven't been in, what, a month?

Moi: Yeah, and i have a _million_ books out!

Ella: That means Max, Java, and I will have to write all of the new chapters for your stories while you read, doesn't it...

Max: Don't give her any ideas!

Moi: I was going to do that, anyway, so yes.

Java: I'm guessing neither of you like writing fanfiction?

Ella: Nope.

Max: It's too weird writing fanfiction about yourself...

Java: -shrugs- Doesn't bother me.

Ella and Max: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE AN OC!!!!

Moi: -giggles-

Java: O_O -hides under bed-

Moi: Oh, and I've changed my mind!

Max: Uh... didn't we already go over that?

Moi: -rolls eyes- I meant, I changed my mind about something else.

Max: ...and that would be?

Moi: Instead of what I'd had planned out for a T-shirt, I'm just going to do a plain, white T-shirt, that says in black lettering "MINKLE FUR COMPANY". Now, all I need is a white T-shirt to do it on... I already have the paper schtuff, but all of my white T-shirts are tie-dyed.

Ella: Hey, are you going to ask them about the universe thing...?

Moi: Oh, right! I was wondering if any of you got the "Universe #1870748" thing I've been using on Twitter and dA, that I've also mentioned in Sure Ways. No one's figured it out yet, I don't think, but if you have or do, review or PM me!

Max: Once you figure it out, you're like, "Oh, DUH!". Well, I was like that, anyway...

Moi: I feel like doing something educational!

Ella: Uh...

Max: Actually, she just likes doing that kind of thing.

Moi: Yup! Pascal's Pyramid... as some of you probably know, I love doing it!

1

1 1

1 2 1

1 3 3 1

1 4 6 4 1

1 5 10 10 5 1

1 6 15 20 15 6 1

1 7 21 35 35 21 7 1

1 8 28 56 70 56 28 8 1

1 9 36 84 126 126 84 36 9 1

1 10 45 120 210 120 45 10 1

1 11 55 165 330 330 165 55 11 1

1 12 66 220 495 660 495 200 66 12 1

1 13 78 286 715 1155 715 286 78 13 1

1 14 91 364 1001 1870 1001 364 91 14 1

1 15 105 455 1365 2871 2871 1365 455 105 15 1

1 16 120 560 1820 2236 5742 2236 1820 560 120 16 1

1 17 136 680 2380 4056 7978 7978 4056 2380 680 136 17 1

1 18 153 816 3060 6436 12034 15956 12034 6436 3060 816 153 18 1

1 19 161 969 3876 9496 18470 27990 27990 18470 9496 3876 969 161 19 1

1 20 180 1130 4845 13345 27966 46460 55980 46460 27966 13345 4845 1130 180 20 1

Max: Would you believe me if I said she just did _all_ of that in her head? Whacko...

Moi: Yes, but that's what you like about me!

Ella: Um... not really...

Moi: -rolls eyes-

Janice: -pops up out of nowhere-

Moi, Ella, and Max: AH! -freak out-

Janice: -rolls eyes- Y'know, Iggy's still winning in the poll...

Moi: He is!?

Janice: Yup... he has 8 votes.

Max: Compared to...?

Janice: Fang with six votes, Max with four, Angel with two, Gazzy, Ella, and Ari with one vote, and everyone else with zero votes, for a total of twenty-three votes.

Moi: -sigh- I'm the only that's voted for Ella...

Ella: I voted for me!

Moi: Do I need to quote my tweet?

Max: Probably. She had bad memory.

Ella: -whacks with Furry Minkle #9-

Furry Minkle #9 and Max: Owww...

Moi: My tweet said, quote, "It's like giving yourself five stars on a YouTube video. Doesn't count"

Ella: Why'd you twitter _that_?

Moi: Saint was asking Skittles why Saint's flame on one of Saint's stories didn't count...

Janice: So why'd _you_ answer if Saint asked Skittles it?

Moi: -shrugs- I just felt like it.

Max: -facepalm-

Moi: BRAIN DAMAGE!!!!!!!

Max: Not _that_ again...

Ella: -giggles-

Lily, Nudge, and Angel: ....and that is the reason I hate pie.

Max: -screams and hits head on ceiling-

Moi: ...-cracks up-

Ella: How'd you guys get here!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

Angel: I don't know. NUDGE, DID YOU DO IT?!?!

Nudge: How would I know?!

Lily: Is there any way for us to get home, since we don't even know how we got here?!

Moi: Probably not, unless you have a wormhole on hand? Oh, wait a minute! You can borrow one of mine! But you have to stick around for a while, first.

Angel: Wait a second.... MAX! ELLA! HI YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!

Max: ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(etc)

Nudge: What about me?!?

Ella: NUDGEY-KINS!!!!!!!!

Moi: You better hide, Nudge and Angel, Max and Ella are kinda whacky write now...

Max: -lunges for Lily's throat for no apparent reason-

Moi: Told you so!

Lily: AHHHHHHH!!!!

Java: What did I miss?

Scarlett: -pops up out of nowhere- Not much. Angel, Nudge, and Lily magically appeared, and then Max lunged for Lily's throat for no apparent reason...

Ella: -screams and hits on ceiling, just like Max- QUIT FREAKING ME OUT, SCARLETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(etc, etc, etc, etc...)

Lily: Your OCs are weird, Vera.

Moi: Well, I'm weird, and I invented them... and you haven't even met the Johns yet! -giggles-

Lily: I read about them though, remember? Where did Angel and Nudge go?!

Moi: -shrugs-

Angel: RANDOMNESS IS AWESOMENESS!

Max: Don't you mean "MCAWESOMENE", as quoted by Saint?

Moi: -accidentally hits big button on wall that says "Oak Tower"-

Lily: -disappears-

Moi: Oopsies...

Angel: Where did Lily go?!

Moi: I kinda sorta maybe accidentally sent her to the Oak Tower?

Janice: Wait, why didn't we go with her?

Moi: -shrugs- The system isn't perfect... it has glitches, sometimes.

Max: Grrreat...

Nudge: How do we get her back?!?!

Moi: Um... -snaps fingers and lightbulb appears over head- I've got it! -open cell phone which magically appeared in hand- 'Allo? Duh, it's me, who else could it be? -rolls eyes- Oh, come ON! Just block her number... anyway, we have a teensy problem over here... no, it's a lot less teensy than the last "teensy problem" I promise... Uh, no, I don't mean- OH, SHUT UP! I DON'T CARE! ...Okay, now you're getting me. Um, yeah, I kinda sorta maybe accidentally sent Lily to the Oak Tower? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW HOW THE SYSTEM GLITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Already tried that... no, they don't know I tried it, but I did, I promise! Um, yeah, that's kind of why I'm calling... Yeah, could you send her back? Thanks, Leeanna... -hangs up-

Ella: O_O What was _that_ all about!?

Moi: I was just calling Leeanna, my new mechanic.

Max: Ohhh...

Nudge: So Lily's coming back?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

Moi: Along with Leeanna, in about... now, actually.

Leeanna and Lily: -appear-

Nudge: Yayness! She has appeared!

Max: -facepalm-

Moi: MORE BRAIN DAMAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lily: Well, that was... interesting...

Leeanna: -giggles-

Max: The giggling is spreading! Now everyone is doing it! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(etc, etc, do I need to etc anymore!?!?!?!??!?!?!?)

Angel: Ummm, Lily, we have to go to school tomorrow. How's that supposed to work?!

Lily: I have no idea...

Moi: What dya mean?

Lily: Well, I have to go to Spanish, then Algebra, then art, then-

Moi: No, I mean I know what school is, but what do you have no idea about?

Lily: How I'm supposed to be awake enough to learn Spanish and Algebra first thing in the morning.

Moi: Uh... chocolate?

Angel: Well, chocolate is delicious but it's been proven that there are no such thing as sugar highs. It depends on the environment. I read that on the internet.

Moi: -facepalm- Chocolate has caffeine in it, idiot!

Angel: O.O REALLY?!

Moi: -nods vigorously-

Nudge: TALKING STUFFED ANIMALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Max: !!?!?!??!!??!?!?!??!?!??!???!?

Moi: I think she means the Fang pwushie...

Lily: Nah, it was totally random. She yells it a lot. Angel yells 'I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!' often... I think it reminds her of Gazzy.

Fang Pwushie: But I can talk!

Ella: -screams and hits head on ceiling-

Leeanna: -giggles-

Moi: ...-cracks up-

Nudge: A REAL talking stuffed animal! Awesome! And it's FANG TOO!

Moi: Um, Nudge? You just called Fang an animal...

Max: -lunges at Nudge's throat- FANG IS NOT AN ANIMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(etc- wait, I'm not etcing anymore, am I? oopsies...)

Nudge: Well, technically, he's two percent- -is tackles to the ground by a VERY angry Max-

Max: HE. IS. NOT. AN. ANIMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(you get the picture, right? no need for etcing? good.)

Angel: Well, Max, stuffed person just sounds weird.... stuffed animal is better.

Moi: We better stick to "Fang pwushie", just to be safe...

Nudge: Agreed, so I won't get hurt anymore.

Max: -is about to punch Nudge, but stops- Fang pwushie? Okay, I can deal with that. -gets off Nudge and dust self off-

Angel: Why not call him Fangy Pwushie?

Max: It rhymes, and doesn't flow right.

Moi: I've got an idea!

Angel: Do tell.

Moi: Let's send a wormhole to pick Skittles and Iggy up!

Nudge: What about Gazzy and Fang?! And I like that idea! YAY we get to see Iggy and....

Lily: I thought I cured that!

Moi: Fang is kidnapped by Saint, who's, like, way famouser than me, and I don't know anyone who's kidnapped Gaz. Sorry.

Angel: I KNOW SOMEBODY THAT KIDNAPPED GAZZY!!!!!!!!!!!

Moi: Oh, yeah... Bell's friend Razamataz, right? Oh, and it turns out that Skittles is asleep... let's see if M.G is awake!

***TIME LAPSE***

Moi: Well, darn, I think M.G's asleep, too, and Saint hasn't replied... oh, well.

Angel: WAAAAAAAAAAAH! I wanted to see Fang and Iggy and Gazzy! -sniffles-

Moi: -huggles Angel- Sorry, sweetie, they're all just asleep... -glares at Skittles, M.G, and Saint for making Angel cry- I know that Skittles and M.G will be reading this. You better watch out, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nudge: -cries and cries-

Moi: -huggles Nudge and whacks Skittles, M.G, and Saint with Furry Minkle #5- **(A/N: I still like you guys, Skittles, M.G, and Saint! I promise!)**

Furry Minkle #5: Ow!

Max: The minkles FINALLY make an appearance. I knew they would, sometime...

Angel: YAY! A MINKLE! I ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET A MINKLE!

Minkles #1, #2, #4, #6, #7, #9, and Unfurry Minkle: -come running out of closet-

Angel: YAY! MORE MINKLES! :D

Moi: I knew the minkles were good for something other than whacking people and making minkle fur items out of!

Lily: Yes, they're good for cheering up Angel!

Java: Actually, they'd probably be good at cheering up any female under the age of eighteen...

Moi: Plus, minkles are SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angel: Can I have a minkle?! Can you make one for me?! Can it have wings, like me?!

Moi: Um, renting a minkle costs 250 rose pretty emerald points a month, which is equal to reminding me of something. I can't make you any, but if you head to Brazil, you can go and catch one! Or I can catch it for you... and I'm sure there's some type of minkle that has wings!

Angel: Can't the minkles have babies?

Moi: I actually never thought of that... but all of my minkles are female. Oh, wait I minute! I can send a wormhole after a winged furry minkle!

Angel: YAY! VERA'S GUNNA GET ME A WINGED MINKLE! -huggles Vera-

Moi: Awww... I would charge you 750 rose pretty emerald e-points, but you're too sweet! And, no, she's NOT controlling my mind, for all you readers who think she is.

Angel: Every time I try doing that to somebody, they whack me. -sigh- Total bites me. Speaking of Total, why isn't he here?

Moi: I dunno. I'll send a wormhole after a winged furry minkle, and then Lily can send one after Total, I guess... -presses big button on wall that says Minkle Forest-

Winged furry minkle: -appears in Angel's arms-

Angel: YAY TIMES A SIDEWAYS 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Max: You mean, Yay x ∞? Also known as yay times infinity?

Angel: Yeah. But Yay times a sideways 8 is more fun to say.

Max: -facepalm-

Moi: MORE BRAIN DAMAGE FOR YOU, MAX!

Nudge: Max, I think you should stop doing that. You wont be able to save the world if you keep it up.

Angel: Yeah, and then we can't prove all those people at Lily's school wrong, isn't that right, Wings?

Ella: Wings?

Angel: She's my winged Minkle and I love her. You can't have her. -screams at the thought of not having Wings-

Moi: -tried to comfort by huggling some more-

Ella: -backs away slowly- I wasn't planning on it! I promise!

Lily: Angel, take a chill pill.

Moi: I think they're over there. -points-

Angel: -finds a chill pill from where Vera pointed- -takes chill pill-

Max: Okay, let's end this chapter before anything else weird happens...

Leeanna: Agreed.

The minkles minus Wings: La, la, la la la la, la, la, la la! Bye everyone! Smurfs included.

Leeanna: Cat food!

Janice: Catch ya on the flip-flop.

Scarlett: Goodbye, farewell, auf wederhesen, adieu!

Java: This is Vera's personal assistant, over and out.

Ella: Merry Christmas!

Angel and Wings: BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Nudge: Shalom out, everybody!

Max: Ella, it's September. Not December. Anyway, see you guys next time!

Lily: We must depart for this chapter!

Moi: Uh... bye?

***GIANT WORMOLE SUCKS EVERYONE INTO IT***

_To be continued..._


	8. C8:My poor, poor brain cells

Moi: Max, go get me all of the pens!

Max: Okay. -disappears- -reappears- -holds out single pen to Vera-

Moi: That's it!?

Java: We definitely need more pens.

Moi: -sigh- Oh, and if you guys want to see what happened after the TBC, then go read chapter 7 of Extra! Extra! Nudge, Angel and Total have been KIDNAPPED! Angel Ride's Ghost (Lily). Actually, I don't think we've finished writing that yet... well, I'll twitter when she's updated.

Java: Just so you know, her twitter's VeraAmberWi.

Moi: Yup!

Vera's grandfather: -tosses phone into room and accidentally hits Max on the head-

Max: OW!

Ella: And _why_ did your grandfather give you the phone!?

Moi: This is the phone with caller ID. I screen the calls.

Ella: Ahhh...

Janica: -pops up out of nowhere- I luffles Skillet...

Java: "Janica"?

Janice: Oops. Typo.

Moi: Actually, "Janica" sounds cooler than "Janice"... I think I'll call you that from now on.

Janica: I can see that...

Max: Are you going to call her Janica in Matter?

Moi: -sigh- Unfortunately, no, because Janica is pronounced "jahn-ih-cuh", and that's nothing close to Janice, which is pronounced "jahn-iss". Janica is nowhere near John S...

Janica: Oh, well. I like Janica better, too.

_Aaliyah: -pops up out of nowhere- Frestani!_

Max: -jumps and hits head on ceiling- What the heck?

Moi: -giggles- That's Aaliyah. From that one SGfic? Yeah, she doesn't speak English, and the translator hasn't adapted to her yet... Hold on, let me fix the stupid thing.

~five minutes later~

Moi: Okay, say something, Aaliyah.

Aaliyah: Something!

Moi: Yayness! It works!

Janica: -eyeroll-

Max: And _why_ did you eyeroll?

Janica: -shrugs- I felt like it.

Moi: My poor, poor brain cells...

Ella: ???

Moi: I'm reading My Immortal. My brain cells are dying.

Aaliyah: I remember that fanfic... -giggles uncontrollably-

Ella: Do I want to know?

Max: -gives Ella link- Here, go read it.

Ella: Um, okay... -walks off to read My Immortal-

Java: -giggles- I feel bad for her brain cells...

~an hour later~

Ella: -giggles uncontrollably- MY BRAIN CELLS ARE DYING! -more giggling uncontrollably-

Max: Toldja so.

Moi: If you guys wanna check it out, here's the link: http :// myimmortalrehost . webs . com/

Janica: Make sure to dump the spaces!

Max: -eyeroll-

Moi: Okay, so I just emailed FF.N and suggested that they add Sam and Lissa to the character list...

Max: If they do add them, you're going to brag constantly, won'tcha?

Moi: Yup!

Ella: ...this is boring...

Moi: ...isn't it weird that my mom was the one who got me to read MR and Twilight? And now those are my favorite book series...

Java: That _is_ kind of weird.

Ella: -shrugs-

Moi: Random fact of the day: I can now say "wings" in French!

Janica: -snore-

Moi: -whacks with Furry Minkle #6-

Janica and Furry Minkle #6: OW! STOP THAT!

Moi: Teehee. "Wings" in French, by the way, is "ailes", pronounced "ael-uh".

Java: And "seal" in French is "phoque", pronounced "fok"!

Ella: ...that was random...

Java: Teehee.

Max: -facepalm-

Moi: BRAIN DAMAGE!

Janica: -rolls eyes-

Ella: -giggles-

Aaliyah: You gotta admit, running around yelled "FOK!" at the top of your lungs _is_ fun.

Janica: -runs around- PHOQUE! PHOQUE! PHO- -trips- Zoi. PHOQUE!

Moi: -uncontrollable giggles- Oh, and I've given up waiting for fifty votes for the poll on my profile. I'm want twenty-five. People, it's been at twenty-three votes for- oh, wait, nevermind. I have twenty-four votes now. Only one vote until MR poll part 2 goes up! Iggy's going to win, no matter what... -sigh-. Oh, well.

Ella: Skits and M.G'll be happy.

Janica: True!

Max: Why do I have a feeling that Lily was one of the ones that voted for Angel?

Moi: Because she probably did. She even told us that Ange was her favorite character.

Ella: Oh, o-

Moi: -squeals and jumps up and down- THEY ADDED SAM AND LISSA TO THE MAXIMUM RIDE CHARACTER LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -hyperventilates-

Ella: -kay.

Max: Uh-oh. We better hide... Vera's going to do something drastic, I bet.

Moi: -runs around the house squealing-

Max: Toldja so.

Moi: -skids to a stop- I'm hungry! Let me go cook something... -runs off-

Maks: -facepalm-

Janica: -giggles-

Maks: Wait, "Maks"!? What the heck!?

Moi: -runs back with big carton of ice cream and skids to a stop- Who wants ice cream!?

Everyone: ME!

Moi: -hands out spoons- Dig in! -begins to ferociously eat ice cream-

Max: -eats ice cream- Hey, did FF.N _really_ reply that fast to your email, saying that they'd added Sam and Lissa?

Moi: Naw. I just typed the beginning of this a few days before what I'm typing right now.

Max: Ahhh...

Moi: -teeth chatter from ice cream- Fang, come here! Warm me up!

Fang: -appears- What!?

Moi: -drags Fang over and forces to warm up- Ahhh... he's a space heater!

Max: Did you just kidnap Fang!?

Java: Naw. She just temporarily stole him from Saint.

Max: Ohhh...

Moi: -cuddles- You're so much warmer than your pwushie! Teehee.

Fang: -facepalm- Why do I have a feeling that I was compared to Jacob Black?

Janica: -giggles- Space heater!

Max and Fang: -facepalm-

Moi: BRAIN DAMAGE! Why do I have a feeling that this is going to end in major Fax?

-mutual shrug-

Moi: Okay, so this is really short, I know, but I have no idea what else I can say, so I'm going to go upload this...

The Minkles: Ciao!

Janica: Luffles my new name. See ya!

Aaliyah: I need a nickname. _Inatserf_!

Java: Isn't "inatserf" just "frestani" backwards? Birdkid food!

Max: -shrugs- Sayonara suckers and adios non-amigos!

Ella: -waves- Bye.

Moi: _Hello, hello?_

_Is anyone home?_

_Hello, hello?_

_Just pick up the phone_

_I opened up my life _

_To you_

_I told you everything _

_I knew_

_You listened so close _

_They did, too_

_You listened so close _

_When love was just a way out_

_But you're going deaf now_

_You turned your head around_

_Hello, hello?_

_Is anyone home?_

_Hello, hello?_

_Just pick up the phone_

_You'll be sorry to hear_

_I'm doin' fine, now_

_Sorry to hear _

_You're without me, now_

Max: You can stop now! Sheesh. This is a goodbye, not a hello, anyway!

Moi: -shrug- Whatever. By the way, that song is _Hello Hello_ by Paramore. Awesome song. Go check it out. I'm saying goodbye, now, before Max bites me, or something...

Max: -bites-

Moi: OW! Bye.


	9. C9:Rain visits! The system FAILS

Moi: I'm odd.

Max: You're odd?

Ella: She's odd.

Chicago: Odd.

Java: You're odd.

Janica: I'm odd.

Scarlett: She's odd?

Leeanna: I'm odd.

Java: He's odd.

Chicago: Who's he?

Moi: She's odd.

Ella: They're odd.

Max: I'm odd.

Scarlett: We're odd.

Leeanna: Who's odd?

Janica: I'm odd.

Max: This is odd.

Chicago: Very odd.

Moi: That was odd.

Java: Isn't talking about oddness odd?

Leeanna: It's odd.

Scarlett: Definitely odd.

Chicago: I'm odd.

Moi: Odd.

Max: She's odd.

Java: You're odd.

Ella: We're all odd.

Leeanna: Odd.

Everyone: ...

...

...

...

...

-bursts out laughing-

Max: You were right! That _was_ fun!

Elliekins: Totally!

Moi: -grins-

Elliekins: Whoa, wait, why does my thing say "Elliekins"?

Java: -points at Vera-

Moi: -giggles-

Elliekins: -facepalm/sigh combo-

Maxy Waxy: Well, at least my thing isn't weird- wait, nevermind. -sigh- "Maxy Waxy"?

Moi: -giggles-

Java Sun Software: -giggles- Hey, wait a sec, mine's weird, too!

Lee-Lee: She just did it to mine, as well.

Scattles: "Scattles"? Really?

Moi: -giggles some more-

Chica: This is pointless...

Moi: Yet so much fun!

Jancy-Pie: I really don't want to know...

Chica, Lee-Lee, Scattles, and Jancy-Pie: -disappear-

Maxy Waxy: That was odd...

Elliekins: -giggles- Oddness is odd!

Maxy Waxy: -facepalm- Odd...

Elliekins: I have an idea!

Veraloca Raptor: What is it- oh, wait, nevermind, I see it... "Veraloca Raptor"?

Elliekins: -shrugs- It's the name you and Kat came up with.

Maxy Waxy: Which Kat?

Elliekins: I don't remember...

Veraloca Raptor: Me neither. I think it was Kathy, but it might've been Katrina. Meh.

Maxy Waxy: You're the PERFECT example of a friend, you know that, right?

Veraloca Raptor: -smacks- It's not my fault I get two people with very similar names mixed up! Oh, and Lily asked me to advertise for her, so here goes.

Lily, screenname Angel Ride's Ghost, is having writer's block for one of her fanfics, Ghost Angel. Go read it, it's awesome, and if you have any ideas, review one of her or my stories or PM one of us. Thanks! :)

Right, I'm going to stop advertising now... Hey, I have 70452 words archived! AWESOME!

Maxy Waxy: That _is_ awesome... Hey, what pairing's winning the poll?

Veraloca Raptor: Eggy-

Elliekins: YAYNESS!

Veraloca Raptor: -thankfully. Aniggy and Tessigy are tied for second, and Niggy, Miggy-

Maxy Waxy: BOO!

Veraloca Raptor: -Ariggy, Mr. Chiggy, Goziggy, and Magiggy are tied for third. Anyway, I only have fourteen votes, and I want twenty-five! So go vote if you haven't already! -smiles- It's on my profile!

Maxy Waxy: Wait, I thought we were through with the advertising!?

Veraloca Raptor: -shrugs-

Elliekins: -eyeroll-

Veraloca Raptor: Hey, did you know they're turning _The Host_ into a movie, too?

Elliekins: AWESOME!

Maxie Waxie: What's _The Host_? And why did my thingie change, _again_?

Veraloca Raptor: _The Host_ is Stephenie Meyer's adult novel, and you're thingie changed, _again_, because I like "max-ee" spelled as "Maxie" better than "Maxy", and it just carried over to the "Waxy/Waxie".

Maxie Waxie: Oh, okay...

Everyone: ...

...

...

...

...

Elliekins: Sooo...

Everyone: ...

...

...

...

...

Maxie Waxie: This is pointless.

Veraloca Raptor: Very.

Elliekins: -sigh-

Everyone: ...

...

...

...

...

Veraloca Raptor: I know what we can talk about!

Maxie Waxie: What?

Elliekins: Do tell.

Veraloca Raptor: ...I forgot.

Maxie Waxie: -facepalm-

Everyone: ...

...

...

...

...

Veraloca Raptor: I remember now!

Elliekins: Tell us before you forget again...

Maxie Waxie: What Ella said.

Veraloca Raptor: Um... darn it, I forgot again. Oh, yeah! I figured out how to make Janice Janica in Matter! She got her name changed. But I'm not going to say any more than that, since that would spoil it... -giggles-

Maxie Waxie: Okay, I have a question, _what the heck is a bicarbonate anthill!?_

Veraloca Raptor: Like I'm going to say in the bottom A/N of the next chapter of Matter, "Ihave absolutely no idea what a bicarbonate anthill is. I might write a oneshot about it, though, so be on the lookout for that."

Elliekins: Well, you better scribble something about it in your notebook, or else you'll forget about it...

Veraloca Raptor: Oh, right! -scribbles in notebook- Anyway...

Maxie Waxie: ...

Elliekins: ...

Everyone: ...

...

...

...

...

Maxie Waxie: This is still pointless.

Elliekins: Utterly.

Veraloca Raptor: -sigh- I know...

Everyone: ...

...

...

...

...

Elliekins: Isn't cheese a type of ice cream?

Maxie Waxie: No.

Elliekins: But I thought cheese was a type of ice cream...,

Maxie Waxie: No, you idiot, it's not.

Elliekins: Then what is it?

Maxie Waxie: Uh... a dairy product?

Elliekins: But ice cream's a dairy product!

Maxie Waxie: ...good point.

Veraloca Raptor: Wouldn't that make ice cream a type of cheese?

Maxie Waxie: Also good point...

Elliekins: But doesn't that mean whipped cream is ice cream and a type of cheese since it's a dairy product, too?

Veraloca Raptor: ...no comment.

Maxie Waxie: Let's shut up now, before this comes even MORE random...

Veraloca Raptor: I don't think that's possible. Oh, yeah, to my readers: I'm sorry about not updating last Tuesday, like I was supposed to! Please don't kill me! -hides-

Elliekins: I have a reason for you guys not to kill her: she's going to try to update _again_ today, in order to make up for taking two weeks to update. If she can't do two updates today, then she's going to try to do it sometime later this week... Mkayzzles?

Maxie Waxie: Um, you realize that Vera's the only one that says "Mkayzzles"?

Elliekins: Crap. Veraness really _is_ contagious...

Veraloca Raptor: -giggles- I told you so!

Everyone: -eyeroll-

Veraloca Raptor: Oh, yeah! When I get ONE more hit to my profile page (which will give me 500 hits) I'm posting a new oneshot! -smiles- Well, really, I'm getting Skits to post it for me, but that's beside the point... It's all about Fang!

Maxie Waxie: I didn't want her to post it, since it makes Fang like an idiot...

Elliekins: ...however, I like it...

Veraloca Raptor: ...and I'm going to post no matter what you guys say and/or think.

Maxie Waxie: That was... _interesting_, to say the least.

Elliekins: Agreement.

Veraloca Raptor: Grrr... I've been waiting TWO DAYS, and not a SINGLE PERSON HAS VISITED MY PROFILE!!!!!!!! -sigh-

Maxie Waxie: Well, at least you haven't been waiting two YEARS...

Veraloca Raptor: Good point. YAYNESS! I JUST GOT FIVE HUNDRED HITS! I sent Skits the email I had typed up, and now she's going to post it for me! :) Be on the look out for it, readers, it's going to be called "Poor Fang".

Maxie Waxie: Yep, Skits just posted it... hey, Ella, you've been silent for a bit.

Elliekins: -takes a deep breath- SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maxie Waxie: -claps hands over ears- WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FANGIRL SQUEE FOR!?

Veraloca Raptor: WE GET TO SEE NEW MOON AT 12:15AM ON THE DAY IT COMES OUT! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maxie Waxie: I do believe I'm about to go deaf... wait, what!? 12;15AM!? As in, fourteen minuets after it starts showing!?

Veraloca Raptor: -vigorous nod- SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maxie Waxie: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elliekins: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fang (from a thousand miles away): THE FANGIRL SQUEE! AHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!

Saint (also from a thousand miles away): -snickers-

Maxie Waxie: Okay, I'm done fangirl squeeing now. Are Fang and Saint really THAT far away from us!?

Veraloca Raptor: Uh, dunno. That was an estimation. Let me MapQuest it...

(Five minutes later...)

Veraloca Raptor: Okay, so it's more like 750 miles... but who cares!?

Elliekins: Perfectionists will.

Maxie Waxie: Whatevs...

Veraloca Raptor: ANYWAY! Did you know that-

Rain: -appears- HELLO! What do we know what?

Everyone: -screams and hits their head on the ceiling-

Maxie Waxie: Who the heck are YOU!?

Elliekins: Good question!

Rain: I am Princess Rainbowstrike Banana Hammock. What's it to you!?

Veraloca Raptor: Rain! It's only you. Phew, I thought it was Seth and/or Mahonee getting back at me for the "little Mahonees and Seths running around" comment...

Maxie Waxie: -giggles- That WAS funny, though...

Elliekins: Agreement.

Rain: Seth got all nervous because you said that. Poor puppy. -pats head-

Seth: Do I get to be in this?

Maxie Waxie: -facepalm- You ARE in this, since you said that, Eraserboy.

Seth: I'm not an Eraser! I'm a Werewolf, or a Shapeshifter, whatever floats your boat.

Maxie Waxie: Eh. Close enou-

Veraloca Raptor: MY MOM SAYS "WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT"!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -runs around in circle-

Vera's mom: -appears- Did someone say my name?

Minkles: -attack and devour Vera's mom-

Vera's mom: -screams- AHHH! GET AWAY! BAD MINKLES! -disappears-

Rain: That wasn't very nice, Minkles. -points finger accusingly-

Minkles: -shrug- We were bored. Talk to our lawyer. -points fingers, er, paws at Twizzles-

Twizzles: -glares menacingly at Rain-

Rain: Sorry, Twizzles! My bad. Vera, how are you gonna survive without your Mom?

Veraloca Raptor: -thinks- Well, I could always publish a book... and I AM a Junior, and going to college in a couple years.

Rain: Vera, we should plot against the shift key.

Maxie Waxie: Oh, yes, definitely. App sharing DESPISES the shift key...

Elliekins: Y'know, our readers will have no idea what we're talking about.

Veraloca Raptor: But Skits, Saint, Lily, M.G, and Kara will!

Maxie Waxie: -facepalm- Everyone else won't...

Veraloca Raptors: Welp, the aforementioned fanfictioners can explain it to them!

Elliekins: -eyeroll-

Seth: I haven't spoken in a while.

Rain: And Mahonee had nothing to do with this, right Seth?

Veraloca Raptor: -giggles-

Seth: Of course not! Mahonee's with M.G, and I'm stuck here with you four, writing fanfiction.

Veraloca Raptor: Y'know, I COULD get M.G in here... -evil grin- There will be little Mahonees and Seths running around, I promise you...

Rain: They're not legal! Oh wait, they're 15, right?

Maxie Waxie: ...that didn't make sense.

Rain: I think we should steer clear of this conversation.

Seth: I Maagrzxieee

Elliekins: _What_ did you just say!?

Maxie Waxie: I believe Vera and Rain tried to type something at the same time... it always ends bad.

Seth: I meant to say 'I agree', but I was cut off by Vera.

Veraloca Raptor: Well, _I_ meant to say "Maxie Waxie", but I was cut off by Seth.

Rain: Seth... Vera... play nice!

Elliekins: Yeah, we don't want Seth to get hurt... Minkles are INCREDIBLY vicious. Just check out their avatar...

Rain: OMG! Guys! Doesn't / look like an I in italics!?

Maxie Waxie: -eyeroll- Vera's been doing THAT in reviews and tweets for... what, a month!?

Veraloca Raptor: -nodnod-

Nudge: -appears out of nowhere- OOH! SEXYBACK! -starts dancing- -disappears-

Elliekins: What the heck!?

Veraloca Raptor: -giggles- SexyBack started playing on Pandora, and Nudge must love that song enough to evade her captor, randomly appear, and start dancing to it...

Maxie Waxie: -snickers-

Rain The Amazing: Everyone else had an awesome name :( I wanted one too :D.

Veraloca Raptor: Here, let me tweak the system so it does it automatically instead of you having to type it all... -messes with something- There you go!

Precipitation Girl: Thanks! Wait, "Precipitation Girl"!? OH! Rain = Precipitation... BAHA HAHAHAHAHA... no.

Veraloca Raptor: Erm... I'm not entirely sure how to get it to stop saying "Precipitation Girl" instead of "Rain"... the directions didn't say... and I can't figure it out, either.

Precipitation Girl: -uses magic stick given to her by magical dancing lobsters- -changes name-

Rain: There we go-

***SYSTEM FAILURE***

Vera looked around in the pitch black darkness that was her room. "What the heck just happened!?"

Max shrugged, and pointed at Ella, who shrugged and pointed at Max. Java said, "I think it was Rain messing with the thing, to change her name back... that could cause a system failure."

Rain looked at Seth, who rolled his eyes and said, "Great going, genius. Now you've totally screwed everything."

Rain frowned, looking at the offending magic stick.

"Those darn lobsters!" She cried, throwing the stick to the ground. "Sorry Vera!"

Vera grinned. "No, it's okay, whackier schtuff has happened... and besides, this is fun!"

Max groaned. "Fun, Vera, really!?"

Vera nodded vigorously, caused her ponytail holder to fly off and hit Seth in the face. "Oops..."

Seth groaned, picking up the ponytail holder. "This is what I get for hanging around with a bunch of whackjob writers. A ponytail holder to the face. Real nice."

"With a bunch of FEMALE whackjob writers." Max corrected.

"Aw, it's okay Seth." Rain cooed, huggling him.

Ella asked, "Hey, why is it so dark in here?"

Vera shrugged. "I didn't need the light. C'mon, let's go find a flashlight or some matches or something... or maybe, JUST MAYBE, the light switch!" Vera made "TADA!" motions.

Everyone walked around, looking for something that created light. There were a numbers of "ZOI!"s, most likely caused by Janica, along with a few "OW!"s, "OOPS!"s, and "SORRY!"s, and even one "GET THE HELL OFF MY FOOT!".

Eventually, someone found a book of matches on the shelf in the corner hidden behind books and a purple fluffy chair in the candle section or Vera's- wow. That was Nudgeian.

Anyway, whoever happened to find the book of matches lit a match, and everyone looked around at each other in the dim light.

"Well, that was interesting. Oh my god what's that in the corner?!" Rain shrieked, pointing.

Vera stared for a moment, before bursting out laughing. "That's the minkles' house!"

"Why is it PUKE GREEN!?"

Vera shrugged and said, "The minkles seem to like that color..."

"That's kind of feral..." Seth grimaced, gently trying to pry the startled girl off of him.

Suddenly, the seven furry minkles and the unfurry minkle that were the head of the minkle army swarmed out of their "house", with hordes of their minkle soldiers following behind them.

"DID YOU JUST CALL US FERAL!?" Furry Minkle #8 shouted in outrage.

"It was all him!" Rain cried, pointing at Seth in alarm.

"GET 'IM!" Furry Minkle #1 shouted. Furry Minkle #4 shouted, "LET'S DEVOUR HIM!"

The minkles let loose a ferocious war cry, which would scared the Volturi, Itex, and Max COMBINED. They charged at Seth.

"NO DON'T!" Rain screamed, "Mahonee will kill me if Seth dies in my care!"

The minkles paused for half a second, before Furry Minkle #7 shrugged, and Unfurry Minkle shouted, "WHO CARES!?"

They went back to charging at Seth. Knowing how extremely vicious minkles are (their Twitter avatar TOTALLY proves it), Vera, Max, Ella, and pretty much everyone but Seth dived out of the way.

Seth stood frozen, having no idea what to do. When the minkles reached him and started biting him, Seth screamed like a little girl and started running in circles, trying to get the minkles off.

After a couple minutes of hearing Seth scream like a little girl and crying for his "Mommy", Vera called to the minkles off. "Alright, stop attacking Seth now, or you don't get your coffee..."

The minkles, not wanting to not get their coffee, ran back into their house. Seth was curled up in the fetal position on the floor, whimpering.

"Seth!" Rain hissed. "Get up before you embarrass yourself!"

Max, who was trying to hold back laughter and failing, said, "I think he already _did _ embarrass himself..."

"Let me rephrase- embarrass yourself even _more_." Rain amended.

Dizzy the Disclaimer suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "That's all for tonight, folks! Check back later for a new chapter of... Nutty Is My Middle Name!"

Everyone stared at her. Suddenly, the match went out, dumping everyone back into pitch darkness.

After a few minutes of searching for the pack of matches that had mysteriously disappeared, they gave up and decided to just go to bed.

Vera suddenly shouted, "R&R!?"

"AND DANCING LOBSTERS!" Rain shouted.

Everyone stared at her. They all shook their heads, and went to bed for _real_ this time.


	10. C10:Intense rambling and Life4Fang Day

Moi: Okay, so I'm just going to randomly babble about schtuff for right now. Why? Well, all of my OCs, Max, and Ella have disappeared, and I can't find them _anywhere_. So, BEWARE: this chapter contains intense rambling.

Now, what should I ramble about first? Oh, yes... fanfiction! Well, how about I tell you how much of my fanfics I have planned out?

"Don't Ask, We're Probably On Drugs"  
I don't think this fanfic _could_ have planning. Whenever M.G and I write it, we just pretty much type whatever pops into our heads.

"IMing to the Maximum! Ride, of course"  
Absolutely _zero_ planning. If there were planning, it wouldn't be on hiatus, don'tcha think? However, I might make an outline for it, if only to help me get it off of hiatus...

"Matter over Mind"  
This is one of my few "planned" fanfics. I do have a basic plan in my head, and there's that thing in italics at the start of the chapters. However, a lot of the time I kind of wing it (npi). Like, at the end of chapter 4, when Max talked about something that made her extremely happy even though she was thoroughly pissed off, I had no idea what it was.

"Nutty Is My Middle Name"  
I honestly don't know how _anyone_ could think this fanfic has planning.

"Ten Sure Ways to Get the MR Characters to Hate You" (AKA "Ten Sure Ways to Get the Maximum Ride Characters to Utterly Despise You")  
Before I finished this fanfic, it _did_ have planning, in a "I know I'm going to do the characters in _this_ order" kind of way.

Originally, I wasn't planning on doing another fanfic until I'd finished Matter off, but since it's going to take twice as long to finish it now that I'm updating every _other_ week, _and_ IMing is on hiatus, I've decided that I might put another fanfic up.

I haven't decided which one I might be going to do yet, but I have, in total, THIRTY-EIGHT ytbp fanfics. Some of them are oneshots, yes, but that's still a _lot_.

One of the fanfics, "Merciless Sorrow" (which may or may not be retitled "Relentless Sorrow") is extremely planned out, and I know almost exactly what's going to happen. So that one might be the one I put up, all I have to do is finished writing the first chapter, since I already have the Prologue and Preface written. However, it _is_ a Twific.

There's another TwixMRfic that I could put up, "Clinically Insane". In fact, I already have the first chapter of it written, but I don't think it's that good.

Then there's "When Worlds Collide". I have the first seven or so chapters planned out, though I only have parts one chapters one and four written. This one's a TwixMRfic.

A few others on my hard drive that I might be able to finish the first chapter of and put up are "Jealous Actions Reveal True Love", which is a MRfic I have a basic plan for, "No One Ever Dies in Our Family", a Twific that has absolutely no planning, "I Can't Let Him Go", another MRfic, but not that original, and it has almost zero planning, and... well, actually, that's it. Unless I use one of the ideas in my notebook that I haven't written yet...

However, I might _not_ put up another fanfic, since I'm getting REALLY behind in schoolwork. If I only have to work on two fanfics, then I'll have much more time to work on the things that I'm required to do to pass eleventh grade.

So, really, I have no idea if I'm going to put another fanfic up. Once I finish Matter, I'll DEFINITELY put one up, if I haven't by then. However, the one I put up might be the sequel to Matter. So, yeah.

Okay, so I'm done rambling about that... and now, I shall list fifty useless facts!

1. I truly believe krill is yum yum yum.  
2. The pen I'm currently using is green, and it has green ink  
3. Two sets of my pajamas have bunnies on them  
4. This Black Friday, I'm going to wake up around the time I normally go to bed at  
5. My hair refuses to grow another six inches, like I want it to  
6. One of my best friend's middle name and nickname was the last name of my history teacher last year  
7. I own four cats  
8. I used to have a rule about how I wouldn't read a book if it were a movie (Twilight got rid of that)  
9. I ADORE espadrils  
10. I have my 26-digit WPA key memorized  
11. When my wireless is being annoying, I use the neighbors' wireless, which isn't password protected (in fact, I'm doing that right now)  
12. I can never remember how to spell "espadril", which is in fact spelled "espadrille"  
13. That's my favorite number!  
14. One time, I dropped my cell phone in Wal-Mart, and the back cover popped off, and then the battery fell out  
15. I used to have five fish, but they all died, and I only remember two of their names ("Sliver" who was silver, and "Angel" whose fin kept kept bigger while its body kept getting smaller)  
16. Whenever Saint makes a reference to her beta fish, I think of a spellchecker  
17. Sugar-free Red Bull is extremely sour, and tastes awesome (I have yet to try regular Red Bull)  
18. Coffee = EW  
19. It has taken me THREE YEARS to be able to do a roundoff correctly  
20. 80 percent of what I eat for lunch is pizza-related (Pizza Rolls, Bagel Bites, Digiorno...)  
21. Both "Vera" and "Amber" are character in Twilight, though extremely minor  
22. My best friend of all time moved to Germany, and I haven't heard from her since :(  
23. I can solve a Rubik's Cube in under two minutes  
24. My favorite TV show of ALL TIME is FarScape  
25. Chocolate was the greatest invention, EVER  
26. I live in a mobile home  
27. Whenever some site or other asked for my zip code, I used to give it to them, one digit off, until I realized that the zip code I was giving them was right next to _my_ zip code, and in the exact same town  
28. When I was three, I couldn't read aloud "up", but I could read aloud "insensitive"  
29. I remember not remembering something that happened three seconds before the memory, and I have yet to remember what I didn't remember, but I still, surprisingly, remember not remembering, and I remember the event in general, as well  
30. #29 made sense  
31. I can never remember which way's left and which way's right (the only reason I'm saved is because I have a big scar on my left wrist, and I always remember that)  
32. It turns out the great uncle I thought was dead isn't _actually_ dead - they just think he's braindead  
33. Electric blue is my favorite color, but I tell my mom it's still dark red, for fear of her getting me something cyan-colored  
34. The college I'm going to go to is across the street from a hospital  
35. This is my second favorite number!  
36. I can say "s---" in three different languages, not counting English (French, Italian, and German)  
37. I have a cousin named Jacob (Me: JACOB BLACK! OH EM SQUEE! GET BACK HERE! -chases- Jacob: -runs away- I'm your cousin, idiot, not some fictional werewolf! Me: -tackles- My fanfiction buddies will pay me large amounts of cash to send you to them... -evil laughter- Jacob: BUT I'M NOT JACOB BLACK! Me: Eh, who cares!? Jacob: -whimper-)  
38. My mom can do the Vulcan nerve pinch, and it HURTS  
39. Once, when I was angry, I actually broke my pen in half  
40. I can count to thirty-nine in Spanish, and one hundred in French  
41. My initials can be rearranged to spell "WAR"  
42. If you Google "the answer to life, the universe, and everything", guess what you get?  
43. Je peux parler français. Peut-être. Peut-aller, je ne peux pas parler français très bien. Je parle français malment. (Is that even a word!?)  
44. For French2, I have to say/sing "Avignon" and "Alouette", and I accidentally found the piano music to both of them  
45. I have two computer, a black PC and a white Mac, and they're both sitting on my bed right now, right next to each other  
46. In the Mac widgets, I have three countdowns: Fang, New Moon, and Life4Fang Day  
47. Paramore, Kelly Clarkson, and P!nk rock my socks, :)  
48. I know what "antidisestablishmentarianism" means (It's easy once you figure out the "anti-" and "-dis-" cancel each other out, leaving you with "establishmentarianism")  
49. I hate necklaces, but I love bracelets, anklets, earrings, and rings  
50. As stated by Twifan21 on YouTube: "What's with the blue tint/The cast can't act for s---" I agree (talking about _Twilight_ the movie, here...)

Okay, so I'm done with that... how many of you know what Life4Fang Day is? Not many, I'll bet, unless I've talked about it before... Okay, so here's a copy/paste from my profile about Life4Fang Day:

Okay, so have any of you heard of Life4Fang Day? Probably not. Let me explain, then.  
Life4Fang Day, which is on October 31st, was created to keep James Patterson from killing Fang off in the Maximum Ride series. What we do is, quote from the creator of Life4Fang Day, Angel Ride's Ghost, "Same as Anti-Hardwicke day, but bigger. I'm gunna put it on Max-dan-wiz, Facebook, and you can put it on twitter. We will talk about it and I'm gunna form a group on facebook if I can figure out how. I'll probably google it. We will write stories about it, blog about it, twitter about it, wall-to-wall about it, and I'm gunna tell my friends who read MR. And, we can make Life4Fang t-shirts! because t-shirts are always fun to make -nodnod- oh, and it's going on FanFic, obviously."

So there you go. Spread the news, people, Life4Fang!

Personally, I'm going to write a oneshot, make T-shirts, posters, and YouTube videos, spam people, and other schtuff. LIFE4FANG DAY!

C'mon people, Life4Fang Day! Spread the news! Okay, so now that I'm done spamming you with that... here's a random music thing!

Stolen from Skittles! (Who stole it from Ashawee.)

Rules:  
1. Put your music player on random.  
2. Write down the first line of the first 20 songs that pop up.  
3. Divide the poem into stanzas.  
4. The first line of the 21st song is the title.

I Still Hear Your Voice When You Sleep Next to Me

Check it out  
I've got a lot to say to you  
When I come to the club, step aside  
I'm gonna make it bend and break

Makin' my way downtown, walkin' fast  
Man, it's a hot one  
Tonight, I'm so alone  
She lives in a fairytale

Lights go out, and I can't be saved  
I'm through with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in  
All day, staring at the ceiling  
She's only known, heartache and pain

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why  
I'm sitting in a room, made up of only big, white walls  
Despite the lies that you're makin'  
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

I hate, feelin' like this  
Head underwater, and they tell me this breathe easy for a while  
I, never cared too much for love  
I guess I just lost my husband

Five buck says you recognized_ at least_ ONE of those song. I know Bre will recognize at least three of them. And Skittles will recognize at least three of them, as well. :)

Max: VERA!

Moi: Oh, lookie, someone decided to make an appearance... WHAT!?

Max: FIRE!

Moi: -facepalm- I do NOT want to know what they did _this_ time... COMING! Guess I better post this now. See ya next week, peoples! -runs off-

Angel: MWA-HA-HA! MY EVIL PLOT TO CONQUER VERA'S FANFICS IS SUCCEED-

Chicago: -tackles Angel- Sorry, Angel's been acting... _odd_ lately.

Angel: NO! Drat. -creepy voice- You will relea-

Chicago: -Vulcan nerve pinch-

Angel: -faints-

Chicago: I've got to thank Vera's mom for teaching me that. -walks off, dragging Angel behind her-


	11. C11:CHRISTIE AND BOB! elohmroW?

Moi: Okay, I need somewhere to rant. Here goes.

-really long rant that Vera got rid of because it was utterly pointless, but she doesn't need to rant anymore, since she ranted her heart out, and deleting her rant didn't mean she needed to rant more-

Okay, it's safe to come out now, guys, I'm done ranting...

Everyone: -peeks out from behind hiding places-

Max: You sure?

Moi: -eyeroll- Yes, Max, I'm sure.

Ella: Oh, phew. We were worried you were going to rip our head off and devour us...

Moi: Uh, ew? No, that's the minkles' job-

___________________________________________________________________________________________

**(A/N: If you are a member of St Fang of Boredom's fansite, and you've read the most recent posts on the "Randomness" forum, you'll know who Bob and Christie are. :))**

Christie: We interrupt this chapter of Nutty Is My Middle Name with an important news bulletin.

Bob: There is an pandemic sweeping the nation.

Christie: Fanfiction writers _around the world_ are contracting a rare disease, Llama Flu, more commonly known as ECD.

Bob: We are uncertain where the disease originated-

Christie: Hold up, Bob. I'm getting something... -zones out-

Bob: Christie and her psychotropics... -sigh-

Christie: Is it believe that ECD started in a semi-eastern-

Bob: "Semi-eastern", Christie?

Christie: That's right, Bob. Semi-eastern state by a young girl named, get this, Skittles.

Bob: So are you saying this girl, Skittles, _invented_ ECD?

Christie: We are unsure at this time, Bob. We do know, however, that she invented the term.

Bob: And what does ECD stand for?

Christie: Well, it depends on the strain of ECD that you are referring to.

Bob: There are different strains, Christie?

Christie: It's news to me as well, Bob. From what I can tell, there are 27 known strains. I will list some of them:

-Epic Crap Disease

-Edward Cullen Disorder

-Emmett Cullen Disorder

-Esme Cullen Disorder

-Embry Call Disorder

-E. Coli Disease

-Extra Crazy Dementia

-Extreme Calm Disorder

-Extremity Curling Disease

Bob: And what about this Llama Flu, Christie?

Christie: Well, Llama Flu is pretty much the same thing as ECD...

Bob: "Pretty much"?

Christie: You'll have to see this to believe it, Bob.

-the view switches to a picture of a llama eating grass-

Bob: What the *BLEEP* is THAT, Christie!?

**(A/N: Bob actually only said "heck", but the TV station is paranoid...)**

Christie: -facepalms- Bob, that's a llama.

Bob: Oh.

Christie: Anyway, do we know what the symptoms of of ECD are, Bob?

Bob: Oh, yes.

-Finger numbness

-Knee pain

-Back pain

-Strained eyes

-Blurry vision

-Momentary deafness

-Bursts of random energy

-Constant tiredness

And... that's it, I think.

Christie: Those symptoms don't seem to have any correlation to each other, Bob. And, frankly, some of them are quite odd...

Bob: Well, the finger numbness is caused by typing too much, the knee pain is caused by sitting crosslegged for too long, the back pain is caused by sitting hunched in front of a computer for too long, the strained eyes and blurry vision is caused by staring at the computer screen for too long, the moment deafness is caused by listening to extremely loud music, the bursts of random energy are caused by, ironically enough, randomness, and the constant tiredness is caused by staying up way too late and waking up way too early.

Christie: Uh, Bob... aren't these symptoms shared by fanfiction writers across the coun- world?

Bob: Why, yes, Christie. The girl, Skittles, is a fanfiction writer, is she not?

Christie: *BLEEP*

**(A/N: Ditto on the paranoia. Christie only said "Crap'.)**

Bob: Christie?

Christie: I'm a fanfiction writer!

Bob: -covers mouth with magically appearing handkerchief and backs away slowly-

Christie: And I exhibit all of those symptoms!

Bob: Hehe... -runs away-

Christie: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!? NOOOOOOO!

___________________________________________________________________________________________

**(A/N: Here are some other Christie and Bob encounters that I just HAD to stick in here...)**

CNN person: Here we are, with an important news bulletin. Skittles Dee Diddles was found in her home last night, looking like... well, you can see for yourself.

-picture of Skittles is shown-

CNN person: As you can see, Skittles has an appearance of... -shudders- death. Bob, do we know what caused this?

Bob: No, Christie, we don't, but we think it might have something to do with fanfiction...

Christie: Fanfiction? Really?

Bob: Yes, Christie. Fanfiction. It is believe that she contracted a rare form of Llama Flu, called "ECD", or Epic Crap Disease.

Christie: Where did she get ECD from, Bob?

Bob: We think it might've been one of her fanfiction writer buddies...

Christie: Uh... Bob? I write fanfiction...

Bob: -blinks- Really?

Christie: Yeah... does that mean I have ECD!? -freaks out and runs away-

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Moi: Alright, whoever keeps copy/paste-ing random Christie and Bob skits better stop-

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Christie: We interrupt your program with news on the ECD pandemic sweeping the nation.

Bob: Yes, it turns out that ECD is contracted by tweeting something sexily.

Christie: This was brought to our attention by a young girl named Vera. Vera!

Moi: -sneezes- Uh, well, see, my fanfiction writer buddies and I created a holiday called "Sexily Day". Every second Friday, you -coughs- added -insert name here- tweeted sexily.

Bob: Uh, Vera... do you have ECD?

Moi: -nods- Yes, but they've been unable to determine -sneezefest- which strain of the disease I have.

Christie: Um, excuse me, but there are different strains of ECD?

Moi: Oh, yes. There's the -wheezes- Epic Crap strain, the Edward Cullen strain, the Emmett Cullen strain, the Esme Cullen strain, the Embry Call strain, -coughs- the E. Coli strain, and many, _many _others.

Bob: Well, that's news to me, Vera. Christie? Have you heard of something like this before?

Christie: Not a word about this, Bob. Thank you for being on our program, Vera.

Moi: Sure, no prob... -falls to the floor and dies-

Bob: Vera? Vera

Christie: GET A MEDIC IN HERE!

Medic #1: -runs in and checks pulse- She's going into fangirl hyperdrive. Quick, get the paddles!

Medic #2: -runs in- Here you go! -passes paddles to Medic #1-

Medic #1: Thanks... -shocks-

Moi: OHEMSQUEEOHEMSQUEEOHEMSQUEEohemsquee... wha-? What happened?

Medic #1: You went into fangirl hyperdrive.

Moi: But I only go into fangirl hyperdrive when... oh, nevermind.

Bob: Well, that's all for now...

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Moi: -now. -sigh- Well, that's all of the Christie and Bob skits, so it's not like whoever's copy/paste-ing these can copy/paste any more-

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Christie: We interrupt this episode of 'What To Do if YOU'VE Got the Flu' for an important announcement.

Bob: Yes, Kara, from the FlockUpdates youtube channel says 'hi'.

Christie: And, we have even _more_ important news.

Bob: Skittles and Vera also say hi. To Mack.

Christie: Not _that_ news Bob! Now we don't have a top story for the 6 o' clock news!

Bob: Oh...my bad...

Christie: -sighs- Anyway, this news is concerning the random virus that just started going around known as ECD or llama flu. Four girls from a certain fanfiction website have contracted this virus, Skittles, Kara, MG (who has it baaaad)and Vera.

Bob: Those are some _whackity_ names. Skittles? MG? Vera? Okay, I can see Vera, but the other two?  
Christie: They're pennames Bob. -sigh- Anyway, we'd like to inform parents of this disease, for they may have a child that writes fanfiction and is a member of fanfiction dot net or twitter. If your child writes fanfiction and is a member of those two sites, be sure to follow the following steps to keep them healthy. We'll go to Iggy in the field for the steps. Good evening Iggy.

Iggy: -after the ten minute lag you always see on the news where the person has no clue what the other person is saying, or at least it seems like that but really it's just...okay, nevermind, you know what I mean- Good evening Christie. I'm here to tell you, the citizens of America and all those other country type places, what you can do to make sure you don't catch the llama flu. Or ECD. Whatever floats your boat.

First, some of the symptoms of the llama flu are:

-fever

-runny or stuffy nose

-coughing

-sneezing

-the need to write random fanfiction

-obsession with children that have wings

-fetish with night quills

-LLDD, Look Like Death Disorder

and

-joining fansites for other fanfiction authors

Some ways to prevent catching this are:

-bathe in hand sanitizer or Germ-X

-drink orange juice

-read fanfictions about the flock being HEALTHY, not sick.

-sue the Gatorade company

-don't do drugs, give hugs!

-don't put in random St Fang of Boredom fanfiction references in random places

-say Irish wristwatch five times fast

-without messing up.

And now back to you Christie

Christie: Okay, that's all for this interruption. now, enjoy your show while I try to find another top story...

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Moi: -shouts- I DIDN'T EVEN WRITE THAT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Max: -sniggers- I love doing that...

Moi: -in a dangerous tone- Max...

Max: -eyes go wide- CRAP! -hides-

Moi: MAXIMUM RIDE YOU GET YOUR $$ BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! -chases-

Ella: Wow... Vera must be REALLY mad...

-weird blue glow-

***WORMHOLE***

Max: -blinks- Whoa. What just happened!

Moi: Eye dee kay...

Ella: What?

Max: -eyeroll- Idk, Ella. Means "I don't know".

Ella: Oh, right!

Moi: -giggles-

Max: So, Vera...

Moi: Yupyup?

Max: Are you going to sic the minkles on me?

Moi: Nah... I'm calmish now.

Max: Ish?

Moi: Ish.

Max: -is wary-

Moi and Ella: -giggle-

Ella: Wait a sec... something's different.

Moi: -looks around- You're right!

Max: It's like... -stares- Is that who I think it is?

Moi: -looks at where Max is staring and grins- If you think it's Alice Cullen, then you'd be right. -calls- Alice! Buddy!

Alice: -dances over- Vera! -huggles-

Ella: -ogles-

Moi: How've you been, Alice?

Alice: Same-same. What about you, Vera? I've see you've got some new friends... -gets an evil glint in her eye-

Max: -backs away slowly-

Ella: Hi Alice, I'm Ella! This here is Max -point to Max- my half-sister, is a shopaphobic.

Alice: I could fix that...

Max: -stutters- N- no th-thanks... -runs and hides-

Alice: Damn. -sniffs- Vera, you're bleeding!

Moi: -sighs- Yeah, I know. My mom dropped the cat on me.

Alice: Poor you...

-weird blue glow-

Moi: See ya, Alice! We're about to be sent through a wor-

***WORMHOLE***

Max: So... I'm guessing we just left Forks?

Moi: Yep!

Ella: So where are we now? We're definitely not home...

Moi: -looks around- Hm... I think we're in Roseville!

Max: What?

Moi: Look! -points-

Ella: -sees girl running towards them- Who's that?

Running Girl: Vera! Hiya!

Moi: Cammie! _Comment ça va?_

Cammie: _Ça va bien, merci, et toi?_

Moi: _Bien, bien..._

Max: What language are they speaking?

Cammie: _Sot_.

Ella: -eyeroll- French, der.

Max: -blinks- What did she just say?

Ella: Dunno.

Moi: -grins- She called you a fool.

Max: -spins around and glares at Cammie- You're going to pay for this, girlie. -gets ready to attack-

Cammie: GIRLIE!? Who are you calling "girlie", Barbie? -gets ready to attack-

Moi: Pass the popcorn, Ella.

Ella: -blinks- Why?

Moi: -giggles- You'll see...

Max: -shrieks- BARBIE!? -lunges-

-a fight break out-

Ella: -stares- I do see, Vera, I do see...

Moi; -giggles-

-weird blue glow-

Moi: Crap. _Au revoir_, Cammie.

***WORMHOLE***

Max: -falls to floor- What the-!?

Ella: Why did you fall to the floor!?

Moi: Cammie was tossing Max over her shoulder.

Ella: Ah...

Max: Where are we, _now!?_

Moi: -looks around again- I think we're in-

Some Girl: -glomps- VERA!

Moi: EEP!

Max: -snickers-

Moi: Emily, you hyper Renesmee clone, you know not to glomp me out of the orange! However, huggling is fine. -huggles-

Ella: "hyper Renesmee clone"?

Moi: -le gasp- You don't know who Emily is!?

Ella: Uh... no.

Max: Agreement.

Emily: Emily Windsnap, at your service!

Max: Why are you a Renesmee clone?

Moi: -eyeroll- Emily, here, is a half-mermaid.

Ella: Oh... Nice to meet you, Emily! I'm Ella.

Max: I'm Max.

Emily: Hi! -huggles-

Ella: -huggles-

Max: -runs away, screaming-

Moi: -mumbles- Drama queen...

-weird blue glow-

Moi: Bu-bye, Emily!

***WORMHOLE***

Ella: -looks around- Vera... why does this look like Hades?

Moi: Because it is! I wonder where Nico is...

Max: But isn't Hades a myth?

Moi: -blinks- You poor, uneducated child...

Max: -smacks-

Boy: -appears in cloud of black smoke- Vera! I knew it was you!

Moi: Nico! How's like been, buddy?

Max: Oh, great, ANOTHER random person...

Ella: -smacks- Be nice, Max!

Nico: Isn't that kind of redudnant?

Moi: Point.

Ella: What?

Moi: Nico's the son of Hades, so it's kind of redundant to ask how's life been, when he's pretty much surrounded by death.

Max: Oh...

-weird blue glow-

Max: -moans- Not again...

***WORMHOLE***

Max: When is this going to stop!?

Moi: -shrug-

Some Girl: VERA!

Moi and SG: LI!

SG: DAINE!

-highfive-

Moi: You still remember!

SG: How could I forget!?

Ella: Hiya! I'm Ella. What's your name?

SG: Hi, Ella! I'm Veralidaine, which is where that joke thing came from, but I go by Daine. -looks at Max- And who're you?

Max: -is silent-

Moi: -eyeroll- That's Max.

-weird blue glow-

Moi: Say hi to Alanna, Kel, and Kitten for me!

***WORMHOLE***

Moi: -blinks- OH EM SQUEE!

Max: -is startled- What!?

Moi: -hyperventilates- WE'RE IN HAVEN!

Ella: -is startled- What!?

Moi: You don't know what Haven is!?

Max and Ella: Uh, no.

Moi: -eyes widen- -shrieks- YOU'VE NEVER READ ARTEMIS FOWL!?

Ella and Max: -back away slowly- Nooo...

Moi: -faints-

-weird green light-

Max: What the-!?

***ELOHMROW***

**(A/N: Just read all of the words backwards. Not the sentences, just the words.)**

xaM: tahT eht kceh saw taht!? tiaW, yhw ma I gniklat ekil siht!? PEE!

ioM: aohW... ssenykaerf... I rednow yhw er'ew gniyas gnihtyreve sdrawkcab?

allE: I rednow, oot.

xaM: ebyaM uoy dluohs tniaf niaga, areV!

ioM: -skcams-

xaM: wO...

allE: yeH, erehw era ew?

ioM: -skool dnuora- I kniht er'we ni...

xaM: erehW?

ioM: edahstghiN!

allE: s'erehW taht?

ioM: ainrofilaC!

allE: I tnaem tahw koob.

ioM: hhhO! daeD sI...

xaM: I rebmemer taht koob!

Some girl: -runs up- Vera! Hi! Haven't seen you since... I don't know when. but I haven't seen you in a while!

ioM: iH ysiaD!

Daisy: Um... why are you talking backwards?

ioM: tI saw a "***ELOHMROW***".

Daisy: Oh, okay!

-weird blue light-

ioM: eyB, ysiaD!

***WORMHOLE***

Max: Are we back to normal?

Ella: Well, you just said that forwards, so I'd assume so...

Moi: -giggles-

Max: -smacks- Shut up, Ella.

Moi: How about we end this now, before we do anything else off the wall?

Everyone: Agreement.

Everyone: BYEEEEEEEE!

Moi: R&R?


	12. C12:Chips, nonstarbucks, and Chicago!

Moi: Bored... Bored... Bored...

Ella: Agreement.

Max: Why are we sitting in an empty hospital room, again?

Moi: Waiting for Gran to get out of surgery.

Max: Right...

Ella: Have any more snacks, V?

Moi: -checks purse- Nup. We already ate the Rice Crispies and the Fruit by the Foot.

Max: -sigh-

Ella: -sigh-

Moi: -sigh-

Everyone: -sigh-

Max: What do we do now?

Moi: -shrug-

Ella: We could make paper airplanes...

Moi: Nah, we did that an hour ago.

Max: We could doodle on the blackboard...

Moi: Nah, we did that, too, like, two hours ago. -blinks- Whoa, comma overload...

Ella: What else is there to do?

Everyone: -thinks-

Max: I got nothing.

Moi: Did we already blow pieces of paper across the floor with straws?

Max and Ella: Yep.

Moi: Darn.

Ella: Ooh! I know what we can do!

Moi: Do tell!

Ella: We can tweet!

Moi: ...my phone's dead.

Ella: Darn.

Max: You can say that again.

(That, surprisingly, took up an entire page in my notebook...)

Moi: That again!

Max: -smacks-

Moi: Ow...

Ella: Let's fine something to do before you two-

Moi: That rhymed!

Ella: -start trying to kill each other.

Max and moi: Okay!

Max: So what do we do now?

Ella: Erm... I hadn't gotten that far yet.

Max: -facepalm-

Moi: So what _do_ we do now?

Everyone: -thinks some more-

Vera's grandfather: -babbles incessantly-

Max: -head(invisible)desk- Does he EVER shut up!? He's worse than Nudge!

Ella: Agreement.

Moi: Ooh! I just figured out how to turn two of my RFs into FFs!

Max: That's awesome, except for the fact that the notebook that the RFs are written in is at home, and we're not.

Moi: -sigh- I know. But when I get home, at least I'll have something to do!

Max: But we have absolutely nothing to do right _now_!

Moi: SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS! SSSSSHHHHHUUUUUNNNNN!

Max: -blinks- What the...

Ella: -cracks up- You gotta love Charlie the Unicorn!

Max: Who?

Vera: Seriously, DON'T ASK!

Ella: Thinking of that, what's the point of the What? fic?

Moi: -giggles- Oh, that. The first chapter is just the letter "H", but it gets better, I promise

Max: I guess so... I mean, you already told us it's going to be around 67 chapters long, not counting the A/N ending chapter that'll explain everything...

Moi: -smacks- Don't give anything else away!

Max: -rubs head- I wasn't planning on it!

Ella: -giggles- LIAR!

Max: -smacks- Shut up!

Moi: -lol-

Max: Hey, I just got an idea!

Ella: Ooh, what?

Max: Let's take the table apart and put it back together!

Moi: AWESOME idea!

-group highfive-

_(One hour later...)_

Moi: That was AWESOME fun!

Max: I know, right?

Ella: Totally.

Moi: Okay, so... what do we do now?

Everyone: -looks at each other- Food!

_(In the nonstarbucks)_

Ella: So why is it called a nonstarbucks?

Moi: Because it used to be a Starbuck's, but it isn't anymore.

Ella: Oh, okay...

Max: -grabs seventeen bags of chips- I want these!

Moi: Max, that's SEVENTEEN bags of chips.

Max: So?

Moi: Each bag is EIGHTY-NINE cents.

Max: So?

Moi: That's $15.13, not counting tax.

Max: Oh...

Ella: -cracks up-

Max: Can I still get _some_ of them, though?

Moi: -eyeroll- Yes, Max. We can afford SEVEN bags of chips. That'd only be $6.23.

Max: Yayness! -skips off-

Moi: I wonder about that girl sometimes...

Ella: -holds up fruit salad- I'm getting this.

Moi: Okay... -looks around- Ooh! Barbeque chips! Me want! -lunges-

Ella: -eyeroll- You two are ADDICTED to chips...

Moi: C'mon, let's go buy this schtuff... And to keep you guys -looks at readers- occupied, here's an interesting conversation that happened sometime last weekend...

Moi what thehuiohcbvydsssssssssssssssssbgvceu67ctw8ny7a

Moi: vdrnytugbiuhelpgyuuuucbgtrmebgeua7sbgevilkbgyeriuxupersongyubigriybtryingbygirxnutobgcybxfckidnapbvgyexumecwnh

M.G: WTF?

Someone Unknown: Hi, everyone! I heard about a serial killer in Skittles' bathtub taking over her computer, and I just HAD to try it. Vera isn't here right now, in case you're wondering.

M.G: You're Java, aren't you?

SU: -leaves for a second-

SU: Sorry, I heard someone screaming. I had to make sure they were all tied- I mean, I had to make sure they were okay. And no, I'm not Java.

Skittles: Max?

Skittles: Ella?

M.G: Janica? Norman?

Skittles: Spongebob?

Skittles: Gary?

Skittles: THE DOORMAN!

SU: No, no, no, no, no, and no.

M.G: One of the Johns?

M.G Checkers?

SU: No and no.

Skittles: The serial killer in Vera's bathtub?

SU: No.

M.G: The cat?

SU: No.

Skittles: Iggy's Celery?

SU: No

M.G: Yuki?

Skittles: M.G?

SU: No and no

Skittles: Her sister, mom, or other family members?

SU: No

M.G: Vera?

Skittles: Vera's ghost?

SU: No and no

M.G: Vera's other personality?

SU: No

M.G: Sparky?

SU: No

Skittles: Saint? Fang?

SU: No and no

Skittles: SQUIDWARD!

Skittles: -glomps-

SU: No

SU: -bites-

Skittles: Yow!

Skittles: Dude!

Skittles: -bites back-

Skittles: You taste like evil...

M.G: How does one taste like evil?

SU: -kills Skittles using superawesome v- I mean, kills Skittles-

Skittles: Don't ask me, it's the one that does.

Skittles: -deadness!-

M.G: Vera... I know it's you. Maybe. I dunno...

Moi: bgcybsuchicagoguisnrgyevilbgyugeneticallybgyubxxniuwncxenhancedbngyubftrdvestgvampirevftrvyhvyuby

SU: I'm not Vera.

SU Does anyone have any other guesses?

Skittles: -holds a knife to your throat- Tell us who the fnick you are or else!

SU: -evil smile- Your petty little knife won't kill me.

M.G: Aren't you dead Skits?

Skittles: MG, shush it.

Skittles: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!

SU: Who am I, then?

Skittles: You are either Percy Jackson or Kronos!

SU: Neither.

Skittles: Shoot!

Skittles: Well, your _someone_ that bathed in the river styx or whatever otherwise this 'silly little knife' would kill you.

M.G: Chi diavolo sei? Ci dicono ora.

Moi: vftaebvampirebbgyebus

M.G: Wait.... Vampire?

SU: Why would you think that?

M.G: You are a vampire...

M.G: Edward!

SU: No

Skittles: ALICE!

Skittles: Attalia!

SU: No

Skittles: Aro!

M.G: Rosalys!

Skittles: Caius!

Skittles Marcus!

SU: No, no, no, no, no, and no

Skittles: Jasper!

SU: No

Skittles: Emmett!

SU: No

M.G: Mahonee? Did she escape?

SU: No

Skittles: Esme!

SU: No

Skittles: Bella!

Skittles: Renesmee!

SU: I believe you would call me an oak, whatever that is.

M.G: An oak?

Moi bgftwyocbyucbwocbygubwocbfyyyysuocbgyebwaocbgyugw

SU: If you would excuse me for a moment.

M.G: Words I've picked out of the random letters: Genetically, and vampire...

M.G: Genetically enhanced vampire!

Skittles: Who's a genetically enhanced vampire?

M.G: I dunno... But that's what's in there...

SU: I am back.

Skittles Your a genetically enhanced vampire!

M.G: GENETICALLY ENHANCED VAMPIRE!

SU: -blinks- Why would you think THAT?

Skittles: Because...M.G said so...

M.G: I pulled it out of the random letter typing things...

Moi: gyvuebherbgyucinynamebngcsnuisbgcyiuxyuchicagoibgyuebymybbgvxymybbgxaiunzxygexbodyguardbbfxxeyjkznegy

SU: That is odd.

M.G: Chicago!

Skittles: name, guard, chicago

SU: Who's Chicago?

M.G: You're Chicago!

Moi: bgcazynyesbgyesnngyuzkehelpbgxyudngxymegyrdzu

M.G: Help me?

Skittles: You're Chicago! Vera's bodyguard!

Chicago (yes, she's Chicago): Help who?

Moi: bgfaznyiunyexbodyguardbyenxysgnshebngyurknzbukidnappedbgyzuynzuymebgyinzyau

M.G: Vera's been kidnapped by her bodyguard Chicago?

Skittles: You're her exbodyguard who kidnapped her...

M.G: Ah... Ex-Bodyguard.

Moi: bfgnjuybtsavebgfyunmebgyrznuagkyshenzgyiugoingbg4yzneyutobfzyuenjkillbxeybumebfysujgyj

Skittles NOO! YOU CAN'T KILL VERA!!

M.G: Save me she's going to kill me? YOU CAN'T KILL V!

Chicago: -blinks- I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about.

Skittles: YAHH! -attacks with a wooden stake-

Moi: bvftebsumommyvftujbsxvtdbx

Skittles: GAH! -fights-

M.G: -attacks-

Chicago: I AM A GENETICALLY ENHANCED VAMPIRE! NOTHING CAN STOP ME! -evil laughter-

Moi: bgazymahoneebngggggg

M.G: -lights match-

Skittles: MAHONEE!

M.G: Mahonee?

Chicago: Did I not say genetically enhanced? -destroys lighter with mind-

M.G: What does she have to do with anything?

Skittles: M.G GET MAHONEE! She can stop her!

Moi: bgxyumahoneebgyuscanbgyaxknjybgkillbgxyeuchicagobdeax

M.G: I don't know where she is!

Skittles: MG! -tackles- GET HER!

Moi: bgyehmgyuibgxyoubxyrujidiotbgfyxuxfhj

M.G: MAHONEE! GET YOUR A$$ IN HERE!

Mahonee: What?

M.G: ATTACK!

Chicago: -tries to destroy Mahonee with mind-

Chicago: -fails-

Moi: bfyzunuyyaynessbgxygnert

Mahonee: -smirks- -attacks-

Chicago: -bites-

Skittles: Even when she's about to die she still manages to say yayness...

Mahonee: -hisses- -kicks-

Chicago: -expects Mahonee to start screaming in pain-

M.G and Iggy: -watch-

Mahonee: AH! -lunges-

Chicago: Eraflytransgeeks! ATTACK!

Mahonee: Okay, WTF?

Max: -grin- I killed all of the Eraflytransgeeks, Chicky.

Mahonee: -spits in Mahonee's hair-

Mahonee: Thank you Max! -lunges at Chicago-

Moi: bgfyubznyxeraservbgyuxienkuflyboybzfathyutransformerbotsbgydsjmgeeksbgryzbjarebgxyskneraflytransgeeksbgyabrj

Chicago: -punches Mahonee-

Mahonee: Nice try, but I'm no Rosalie! -bites-

Chicago: -kicks-

Mahonee: -attacks-

Chicago: -punches broken leg-

Mahonee: AH! That. Is. It. -phases-

Chicago: -morphs into Eraser-

Mahonee: -snarls-

Chicago: -snarls in reply-

Mahonee: -lunges-

Chicago: -bites multiple times-

Mahonee: -tackles-

Chicago: -scratches-

Mahonee: -bites in reply-

Chicago: -latches teeth onto throat-

Mahonee: -throws off- -digs claws into skin-

Chicago: -licks-

Mahonee: -pauses- -shakes head- -bites-

Chicago: -pouts-

Mahonee: -phases back- Okay, WTF is your problem?

Chicago: -morphs back- What the heck is YOUR problem!?

Mahonee: I HAVE no problem! I don't go around kidnapping my creator...

Chicago: Because, like, you're naked and Iggy is standing RIGHT THERE

Mahonee: Iggy is blind.

Chicago: Damn. -pause- What about Carter?

Mahonee: -smirks-

Iggy: I'm here! Why are we talking about me?!

Chicago: Because Mahonee's naked.

Iggy:...this is a bad day to be blind...

Ella: -slaps-

Mahonee: M.G has no clue where he is. Probably off with some chick.

Mahonee: And Iggy? Perv.

Iggy: -slaps back- Don't be touching me, chica!

Ella: Iggy, I have Max. And I'm not afraid to use her.

Iggy: All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek amy! Oooohhhh

M.G: Iggy, seriously? Wow.

Mahonee: And Chicago, let Vera go.

Ella: With the taste of your lips I WAS on a ride, but not anymore. :P

Iggy: Shut up...it came on Pandora...

Chicago: -b----slaps Mahonee-

Skittles: Am I sensing a song fight?

Iggy: No...

Iggy: I hate everything about you.

Mahonee: -roundhouse kicks Chicago-

Skittles: I think I am.

Ella: Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated!?

Chicago: OOF! -eats-

Mahonee: You can't eat me! Vampire skin is way too tough. B----.

Iggy: Just shut up and drive!

Chicago: Have you not seen Jasper's scars? I can bite you. Which means I can eat you.

Skittles: Oooh! This one uses lyrics...Courtney and Tori's was just songs titles...

Ella: Ignore me if you see me 'cause I just don't give a s---.

M.G: COBRA STARSHIP!

Iggy: Your a hot mess...

Mahonee: -facepalm- And Chicago, Jasper is an effing pansy compared to me...

Ella: -slaps- Since you been gone, I can breathe, for the first time!

M.G: And I'm falling for you...

Chicago: I'm genetically enhanced, cagna.

Mahonee: You so got that from Vera, who got it from M.G.

Chicago: Do you think I CARE? -morphs again-

Mahonee: -phases again-

Mahonee: -growls and lunges-

Chicago: -attacks-

Iggy: My life would suck without you!

Skittles: When did Iggy suddenly want Ella back?

M.G: What is with all the Kelly Clarkson**?**

Mahonee: -dodges attack-

Ella: One thing leads to another!

Max: Ooh... Vanessa Amorosi...

Chicago: -snarls-

Mahonee: -snarls in reply-

Iggy: I can't think of a song to reply... -pause- OH! I got it... -another pause- Maybe...

Skittles: Just do it.

Iggy: Over and over, I fall for you!

Ella: Communist!

Max: Sweetie, it's "My friend, the communist".

Ella: -smacks-

Iggy: I make them good girls go bad.

M.G: Communism, or French toast?

Iggy: -facepalm- Why must you quote our science teacher?

Mahonee: -bites Chicago-

Chicago: -purrs-

Skittles: Lol...it sounds like Mahonee is saying she's biting the actual place Chicago...lol

Mahonee: -phases back again- Are you a cat or something? What?

Ella: Get over it!

Max: Actually, it's "Will I get over it?"

Ella: -smacks again-

Chicago: -morphs back- Uh...

Mahonee: No answer, huh b----?

Skittles: Backles!

Chicago: Whore!

Skittles: TWEET WHORES!

Mahonee: Sadistic kidnapper!

Chicago: SLUT!

Skittles: SLUTTY SADISTIC KIDNAPPER!

Mahonee: A$$hole!

Chicago: DUMBA$$

Iggy: You sound like Walter...

Mahonee: Tramp!

Chicago: Brissa lover!

Mahonee: Okay, what?

M.G: -facepalm-

Chicago: Volturi member!

Mahonee: -gasp- I'd never join those assholes! B----!

M.G: -cough- -cough-

Mahonee: What?

M.G: Never mind. It's H1N1. I'm sure those Thessalon people purposely breathed on me...

Max: Mahonee, what about Eleazor and Carmen? Do you think THEY'RE assholes, too?

Mahonee: NO! Just, Caius, Aro and Marcus are... And Jane. And Alec.

Moi: bfvtzbuanhelpbgxryygnymebgyuzngjuchicagosbfzyuyeugoinggfawjtocswexcfskillxasetmekjygbty

Mahonee: -sigh- -grabs Vera and pushes her away from Chicago- -attacks Chicky-

Chicago: -dies-

Moi: You owe me a new bodyguard...

Moi: THAT was fun... And here's another Christie and Bob skit!

Christie: This just in!

Bob: Apparently, that girl we talked to earlier, Skittles, has gone missing.

Christie; Her whereabouts are currently unknown.

Bob: She disappeared suddenly while chatting with two of her tweeps, M.G and Vera

Christie: Didn't we talk to Vera as well, Bob?

Bob: Why, yes we did, Christie.

Christie: Skittles has yet to reappear.

Bob: Any information would be greatly appreciated.

Christie: If you DO have any information, please call ####################

Bob: THAT'S not a short number at all...

Christie: -smacks- And that's the end of this new bulletin

Bob: Cat food!

Moi: And that's all I have to say...

Max: Ci

Ella: Oa!

Moi: Bye... R&R?


	13. C13:Where's Ella? silence Max? MAX! ?

Moi: I'd thought yesterday was Tuesday...

Max: So?

Moi: Well, I had planned on updating a week later than normal. Problem was, I updated on _Monday_, which means I have to write another chapter today, or face the wrath of my readers.

Max: Ah...

Moi: Hey, where's Ella?

Max: -looks around- -shrugs-

Moi: Ella?

-silence-

Moi: -calls- EEELLLLLLAAA!

-more silence-

Moi: -blinks- That's weird. She always comes when I call. ELLA!

-even _more_ silence-

Moi: Huh... have you seen here lately, Max?

-silence with a cherry on top!-

Moi: Max?

-silence-

Moi: This isn't funny, guys...

-silence-

Moi: MAX!? ELLA!? GET OUT HERE! NOW!

-silence-

Moi: -backs up- -says nervously- You guys can stop messing with me now, it's not funny...

-silence-

Moi: -looks around nervously- Guys?

-silence-

Moi: -grabs dart gun- Guys...

-silence-

BANG!

Moi: -jumps- -looks around, startled- What was that!?

-silence-

BANG!

Moi: -jumps again-

BANG!

Moi: -steps forward- WHOEVER YOU ARE, GET OUT HERE, NOW!

-silence, then...-

BANG!

Moi: If that's you, Max and/or Ella, you're dead meat...

BANG!

Moi: -jumps _again_-

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Moi: Alright, that's it! -puts dart in dartgun- Whoever you are, get out here NOW, or I shoot you!

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!

Moi: -spins around and shoots-

M.G: -ducks-

Mack: -not so lucky-

M.G: -points and laughs-

Moi: -blinks- Oops... sorry, Mack! I really DIDN'T mean to shoot you in the arm!

Mack: Pain...

M.G: Oh, suck it up.

Mack: -glares-

Moi: Let me get the dart out... -walks over and yanks dart out of Mack's arm-

Mack: OW! This would hurt less if you used, like, Nerf darts or something.

Moi: -eyeroll- Mack, it's a _weapon_. It's _meant_ to be painful.

M.G: Ignore him. He doesn't get out much.

Mack: Shut up.

BANG!

Moi: There's that dang banging again! ...hey, that rhymed!

M.G: -giggles-

BANG!

BANGBANGBANG!

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGetcetcetc!

Mack: -jumps- EEP! Wait a minute... Who ARE Max and Ella anyway?

Moi: -stares- _Idiota..._

-weird pink tint-

Moi: Whuhthuh... -stumbles- I like schsheese...

M,G and Mack: -start making out-

Moi: -faint-

Mack: -faint-

M.G: -slurs- Wuss... -faint-

_(Time lapse...)_

Moi: -wakes up- Ow...

M.G: Got any 7s?

Mack: Go fish...

Moi: -mumbles- Wha happuhn...

M.G: -shrugs-

Max and Ella: -are dragged into room by weird pink blobs-

Moi: Max! Ella!

Max and Ella: Schsheese...

Pink Blob #1: -evil laughter-

Pink Blob #2: May your house never be safe from tigers! -joins in on evil laughter-

Pink Blob #3: -more evil laughter to top it all off-

Mack: Pink blobs? What the...

Moi: It's not THAT weird, Mack... you should've seen the Eraflytransgeeks!

M.G: Max killed all of those things though, right?

Moi: -nodnod- I'm just using them as examples.

Pink Blobs #1, #2, and #3: -march out as well as pink blobs can-

Mack: This is too weird.

M.G: Not really. It's been stranger with Vera around.

Moi: I'm taking that as a compliment...

M.G: It was. Strange is good!

Mack: Right...

Ella: "Mack"? That's awfully close to "Macks"...

Max/Macks: -smacks-

Moi: Hey, that rhymed!

M.G: Yayness! Rhyming is fun!

Moi: It is, it is...

M.G: I was expecting a-

Moi: YAYNESS IS CONTAGIOUS!

M.G: That...

Mack: Okay then.

Ella: -squees and... remember, M.G?- IGGY!

Iggy: Jeez M.G, forget about me much?

M.G: Meh.

Mack: This guy again?

Iggy: I'm offended by that Mackenzie.

Max: Isn't Mackenzie a girl's name?

Ella: -glomps Iggy-

Iggy: -is glomped- Ella! I think...

Ella: -eyeroll- Of course it's me, idiot!

Max: -grumbles about Fang not being there-

Moi: Um... shouldn't we be trying to escape, or something?

Everyone: -looks at each other- Nah...

M.G: I'm bored of Go Fish...

Mack: You realize I won though, right?

M.G: -smacks-

Ella: Hm... let's play Gin Rummy!

Moi: Yayness! I love that game!

Iggy: Cards bore me. Let's blow something up!

Everyone: -facepalm-

Moi: Ooh! Blowing up schtuff is fun! -looks around- Do we have any Jell-O and/or dental floss...?

M.G: Jell-O? Ooh...

Mack: I'm hungry now...

Moi: -checks pockets- I must have some food here, somewhere...

Mack: Nah, I have some candy in my pocket.

M.G: Where did you get that?

Mack: -shrugs-

Iggy: Candy? GIMME!

Moi: -pulls schtuff out of pockets- Ooh... I have a bag of chips, some peanut butter sandwiches, and an apple! And two cans of Coke!

Max: -blinks- Why the heck do you have so much food!?

Moi: -eyeroll- Max, I'm a survivalist. I ALWAYS have everything anyone could ever possibly need or want.

M.G: But how did you fit all that in your pocket?

Moi: Pocket_s_, plural, dear, and not only are my pockets endless, but I'm wearing cargoes! -spins around to prove point-

M.G: Ah...

Mack: Can I have a sandwich?

Moi: Sure. -passes Mack sandwich-

Mack: -eats sandwich- Peanut butter...

Iggy: Peanut butter?

M.G: Peanut butter.

Mack: Must you always do that?

Ella: -sneakily steals bag of chips-

M.G: -obvious follow-up question-

Iggy: Psst... Ella! Do you have chips?

Ella: -whispers- What did you think I was creeping over to Vera to get!? So, yeah, duh! But there's only one way you'll get any...

Iggy: How? I must have chips...

Ella: -giggles quietly- Eggy!

Iggy: -shrugs- Anything for chips... -grabs Ella-

*CENSORED*

Moi: -giggles-

M.G: Gotta love Eggyness...

Max: -grumbles some more about Fang not being there-

Moi: Aw, cheer up Maxie. At least Gazzy isn't here...

Max: -perks up- Good point!

Moi: -gets idea- Hey, Mack! _Parles en français!_

Mack: _Pourquoi?_

Moi: -shrug-_ Parce que je..._ um... _parce que je veux/peux à!_ -mumbles- I can never remember which one's "can" and which one's "want"...

Mack: "veux" is "want", and "peux" is "can".

Moi: _Merci!_ I just have to remember "German accent"...

Mack: _De rien. Et, quoi?_

Moi: -blinks- Um... _M.G sait ter Borcht? C'est "sait", oui?_

Mack: _Oui._

M.G: Can we lay off the French, please?

Moi: _Pourquoi?_

M.G: Not in the mood for three languages in my head right now...

Moi: _Italiano_, then! 'Cept all I know is "Italiano", "ciao", and some curse words... and I only know the curse words because of M.G. Actually, I know some other words... but they're types of pasta.

Pink Blobs #1, #2, #3: -march in- We're here to kill you. -pull out AK-47s-

Nat: -appears- -makes weird ghosty noises- I be here to save youuuuu!!!

Max: -blinks- Who the heck is THAT!?

Moi: -smacks- That's Nat! -pulls out dartgun- PB One, Two, and Three, ready your sword or ready your soul!

Ella: You're stealing from Jennifer Scales again...

Moi: -smacks- Shuddup.

Nat: Sparkles now shuns you, Max, for calling mehh "That". Snarlness.

Max: -mumbles- Whacko...

Ella: Hey, I just realized... PB! Like, Peanut Butter! Like the sandwich Vera gave Mack a few minutes ago!

Pink Blobs #1, #2, #3: -cocks guns-

Max: ...why does that sound bad?

Moi: -smacks- You have dirty thoughts, Max...

Max: But you thought of it, too, didn't you!?

Moi: -ignores-

Iggy: I know I did...

M.G: That is not a surprise...

Moi: EEP! ELLIPSE OVERLOAD!

Pinks Blobs #1, #2, and #3: -shoot-

Almost everyone: -ducks-

Iggy and Mack: -not so lucky-

Mack: Pain... Hey, why am I always the one that gets injur... -faint-

M.G: You're still a wuss...

Iggy: Gah... another bullet wound. How many will it take before I d... -faint-

Ella: IGGY! -lunges-

Nat: -wonders- Why is "STD" the abbreviation for "Standard"? Whoever made that abbreviation musta' had somethin'...

Max: That wasn't random at all... -note sarcasm-

Moi: I've always wondered that, too. It's weird. Or, as Ka-rah would say, queird.

M.G: Was the "Ka-rah" thing a shot at me?

Moi: No, it was telling Kara that I pronounce her name correctly... If it weRRRe a shot at you, I would be talking/typing like this! -giggles- Talking/typing like this is fun... daRRRn it, that sentence didn't have any "R"s in it!

M.G: -glares-

Moi: Don't you mean "-glaRRRes-"?

Pink Blobs #1, #2, and #3: -reload and fire again-

Moi: EEP!

Everyone: -ducks again-

Nat: Quack.

Moi: Alright, that's it! I'm sick of this! -pushes magically appearing/ed button-

***WORMHOLE***

Everyone: -lands on Vera's bed-

Vera's bed: -makes weird creaking noises-

Moi: Okay, so this is the end of this chapter... bye!

M.G: Ciao!

Max: See ya...

Nat: Awhh. Ciao!!!!!!!!!! Sparkles says bye, too. But Sparkles obviously can't type...hooves and all...

Ella and Iggy: -making out-

Mack: Peace...

Moi: By the way, I made a cover for this fanfic! Check it out at:

http : // veraamberwi . deviantart . com / art / Nutty-Is-My-Middle-Name-Cover-141693571

Make sure to dump the spaces! The link is also on my profile.

R&R?


	14. C14:NaNoWriMo and wedding plans

Moi: This chapter will be about...

Drum: -rolls-

Max: -facepalm-

Moi: NaNoWriMo!

Ella: Don't know what that is? Go here: http : // www . nanowrimo . org /

Moi: Make sure to dump the spaces!

Max: Anyway.

Moi: Right, anyway. So far, I have 3503 words of my NaNo novel written!

Ella: Did you ever notice how NaNo novel stands for "National Novel novel"?

Moi: Yeah, I noticed that two days ago.

Max: Um, Vera, you know you're supposed to have over _6500_ words, right?

Moi: -sigh- I know, I know, I just had trouble coming up with the plot... but now I know where it's going, so I'm going to write a lot faster! -grin- Plus, Saint has 3170 words, M.G has 781 words, Kara has 3000 words, and Skittles has 569 words! So I have more words than all of them!

Ella: Not true. Crossover has 5640 words.

Moi: Oh, yeah... Darn you, Crossover!

-time lapse-

Moi: Okay, let's see how many words everyone has _now..._ I barely got any written, because I had gymnastics, then I ate out at Pizza Hut, then I came home and watched Jeopardy! and ANTM, and THEN I finished the 500 piece puzzle my mom and I have been working on. In other words, I wasn't on my computer from 5PM to 11PM. So, yeah.

Okay, so right now I have 3984 words, although I'm going to be having a LOT more in a few minutes because my plot bunnies are attacking me. Saint has 3170 words (still), M.G has 781 words (ditto), Kara has 4000 words, Crossover has 6934 words (DARN YOU, CROSSOVER!), and Skits has 1886 words. Juice so you guys know, I'll constantly be interrupting myself and others in this fanfic with updated stats. -grin-

Max and Ella: -snore-

Moi: Since they're sleeping, I guess this chapter will mainly consist of me talking, _again_... anyway, here's a PM I just sent AHHHngela Alice likes PIE. (I think you might find it funny. By the way, we were talking about what we think of when we say/type/hear/see "drumroll".)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

-bursts out laughing- And here's what I'm thinking of NOW:

A guy wearing a bright red suit with gold jewels on it, a pair of white gloves, and a tall black, furry hair like those British guys wear is rolling down a hill while holding a drum and hitting the drum with a pair of skewers that have buttered rolls stuck onto the end of them. There is an ostrich rolling beside the guy. Suddenly, the buttered rolls fly off and hit the ostrich in the face. The ostrich squawks and tried to bite the guy, but ends up choking on the buttered rolls. They reach the bottom of the hill, and the guy crashes into a white picket fence. The ostrich crashes into the guy.

Wow...

Vera

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Moi: -giggles- By the way, I'm not longer going to say "darn it". I'm going to say "rats". That's not that weird, actually; I change my "preferred curse word" a lot. Anyway...

_Vera - 4275 words_

_Saint - 4336 words_

_M.G - 1064 words_

_Kara - 4000 words_

_Crossover - 6934 words_

_Skittles - 1886 words_

...I have absolutely no idea what to say. -sigh-

Maybe I should just leave this chapter incredibly short? Hm... let me go see what my other chapter lengths are...

_Prologue - 2723 words_

_Chapter 1 - 1031 words_

_Chapter 2 - 1314 words_

_Chapter 3 - 857 words_

_Chapter 4 - 1508 words_

_Chapter 5 - 2369 words_

_Chapter 6 - 2127 words_

_Chapter 7 - 2317 words_

_Chapter 8 - 1086 words_

_Chapter 9 - 2697 words_

_Chapter 10 - 2216 words_

_Chapter 11 - 3088 words_

_Chapter 12 - 2161 words_

_Chapter 14 - 1440 words_

And so far, this chapter is around 700 words... I better write a bit more, at least. So... what to talk about?

Kara (Karecitay, from FlockUpdates!): -appears- 'Ello people!

Moi: Kara! -glomps-

Kara: EEP! -is glomped-

Moi: -grin- Since you're here, how about we work on planning M.G's wedding?

Kara: YEAH!!!!!

Moi: Okay, so we agreed on Navagio Beach in Greece... actually, it's on an island off the coast of Greece, but still.

Kara: It's purtttyyy! And it has white sand and blue water! None of the yucky grey/green water we have here!

Moi: Yeah, and here we have this yucky brown color..

Kara: Yucky. Okay so I think we agreed on the colors of blue and white!

Moi: Yep. M.G's wedding dress is going to, obviously, be white. With blue accents.

Kara: What about Mack's Tux? Blue? Dark Blue? Black?

Moi: Maybe... traditional black with a pale blue tie, or something?

Kara: Perhaps...whenever guys where ties they look hot :D :D :D

Moi: Anyway...

Kara: Right, anyway. What about the wedding...people...whatever the people in the wedding are called?

Moi: Well, you have the flower girl, the bridesmaids, the best man, the civil servant/priest, and, obviously, the happy couple.

Kara: Should we let M.G chose those?

Moi: Yeah, probably... 'cause you know we'd all fight over who got to be the bridesmaids. -grin-

Kara: Well, obviously, us - they wouldn't be together without us -grins-

Moi: And Skits. Can't forget Skits.

Kara: -le gasp- How could I forget Skits!

Moi: Anyway... let me go figure out where Navagio Beach is in relation to the rest of Greece... -Googles- Okay, so it's between Italy and Greece, and considerably closer to Greece than it is to Italy...

Kara: Yeah...

Moi: And some website or other I remember saying that it was crowded during certain times of the day, so we'd have to have a fastish wedding, or else find a day when there's going to be no one there...

Kara: We could do it at like midnight...I don't think people go to beaches then.

Moi: Eh, yeah, but you can only get to Navagio Beach by boat, and I don't think anyone will take us there at midnight... plus, it's be REALLY dark. Maybe... 5PM?

Kara: That would work...

Moi: It would be best if it were at 11AM, but unless we can find a day when there's going to be no one there, we can't do that. Okay, so...

Kara: So...what else is there?

Moi: Well, we need to find her dress, and not just have a basic idea of what it's going to look like... maybe if we pick out a bunch that would work and let M.G decide?

Kara; I suppose we could let her pick that out...but we need to approve it.

Moi: Yeah, I know, that's what I meant. We give her a list of approved dresses, and she picks out the one she likes best.

Kara: Oh. Okay. Doi.

Moi: And the bridesmaids' dresses and the flower girl dress need to match, as well...do you want to look at dresses while I look for flowers that would work with the scheme? Or vice versa?

Kara; Vice versa. There's no way I could choose a nice dress.

Moi: Okay, so you go look at flowers, preferably something white and/or blue, and I'll go look for dresses...

-small time lapse-

Moi: Rats... my computer won't let me go to the David's Bridal website... -sigh-

Kara: Hmm...How do we fix this problem then?

Moi: You look for the dress and I look for the flowers?

Kara: -facepalm- Right....but there is this nice flower I liked...

Moi: -looks at link- Pretty... but kind of greenish, don'tcha think?

Kara: Grr...

Moi: You go look for the dress, and I'll look for flowers. How about we just do that?

-time lapse-

Kara: This is hard.

Moi: You're telling me. Ooh! Maybe something like this?

Kara; That's pretty....I haven't found many dresses...only this one.

Moi: Okay, so pale blue roses it is... let me look at the dress you found. Ooh... that's pretty... let me see if _I_ can find any dresses... What do you think of that dress?

Kara: I like it. I think we should go with that one.

Moi: Alright. Let's find a few more, so M.G has a bunch she can chose from...

Kara: She has two to chose from...how many more do we need?

Moi: -shrug- Maybe, like, five to seven? Hey, what do you think of this dress?

Kara: Me likey!

Moi: Okay, good, I'll bookmark it, and try to find some more... Eh, I don't really like this as a wedding dress, though it is pretty. What do you think, Kara?

Kara: It looks like it's made out of blue ShamWows...

Moi: -cracks up- I'll take that as a "No"...

Kara: Is the cake going to have blue in it?

Moi: Der. Why?

Kara: Cuz I found some awesome cakes!

Moi: C00l! Let me look... I don't really like the first one as a wedding cake, although it is mcawesomene, and although the second one is only plain awesome, it looks good as a wedding cake! It'd be even better if the flowers were all plain white, without any blue tint... OOH! I _LURVE_ THAT ONE! And you know what would be even prettier? If the flowers on top were blue, too! -grin-

Kara: -disappears-

Moi: Rats... oh, well. I guess we'll work on the wedding more later. And since I have nothing else to say-

_Vera - 4532 words_

_Saint - 4336 words_

_M.G - 1064 words_

_Kara - 4500 words_

_Crossover - 6934 words_

_Skittles - 1886 words_

Bye!

R&R?


	15. Bored and I hate you

Moi: Hey, guys. I'm bored.

Max: 'Cause she's a loser.

Moi: Am not. I'm in love with a Christmas tree!

Max: True true.

Moi: And I hate everyone. J Especially Saint. Jerk.

Max: Touche.

Moi: That is all. Have a nice day.


	16. Annoying Little Hacker

Moi: -uncontrollable laughter- Whoever hacked my account, you gave me a good laugh. I went an fixed my profile, by the way.

To all my readers: Sorry about that. Annoying little hacker... I'll have a REAL chapter up sometime soon, hopefully.


	17. C15:Disappearances, sisters, and M&Ms

Moi: Okay, so I'm going to start this chapter off by saying... ASK QUESTIONS! The chapter after the next is going to be a Q&A chappie, so I need all of you to ask a million questions! You have two weeks to do so. Also, I gave up on the "update once a week thing". Not happening. Okay, so I'm done talking about that. Now, Max and Ella have something to say...

Max: We do?

Ella: -smacks- Der!

Max: Oh. Why wasn't I told about this?

Ella: -facepalm- What Max SHOULD have said was...

Drum: -rolls-

Moi: -giggles-

Max: ...we think Dylan is an ass?

Ella: -smacks- No, you idiot! Everyone already knows that! You were _supposed_ to say that Vera's no longer going to say "Moi"!

Max: Oh, yeah...

Me: I'm honestly sick of typing "Moi". So, now, I'm "Me". :)

Max: ...how is this an important announcement?

Ella and me: -facepalm-

Me: -disappears-

Max: -blinks- Whoa... where did Vera go?

Ella: I dunno... but it gives us a perfect chance to take over her computer again!

Max: -shrug- Eh, why not...

Ella: What shall we look at first?

Max: Bookmarks!

-mutual highfive-

Ella: Alright, let's see... Screenplay formatting?

Max: dA emoticons?

Ella: Keyboard shortcuts for Windows?

Max: HTML quick list?

Ella: The elimination- hey, this is Saint's petition, isn't it?

Max: -looks- I believe so... VeraA's vRoom?

Ella: That's the link for her to get into Elluminate, methinks.

Max: Ah... yes...

Ella: Internet anagram server? Oh-kay...

Max: Keep My Immortal online petition? You have GOT to be kidding me...

Ella: -shrug- Vera's weird. Everyone knows that.

Max: Pick-up lines?

Ella: -correction- The most complete and most useless collection of pick-up lines.

Max: Riiight...

Ella: Don't Shoot the Puppy... -giggles- I love that game...

Max: That game _is_ very addicting. Chuck Norris facts!

Ella: Another petition, this one about those darned symbols...

Max: My Immortal...

Ella: Wars of the Worlds broadcast?

Max: Remember, that broadcast in the '40s or '50s that made everyone think that aliens were invading?

Ella: Oh, yeah...

Max: Twilight Saga Characters? Didn't she need that for Emmett and His Arm Wrestling?

Ella: I do believe so. Words to Replace "said"? She TOTALLY stole that from Skits...

Max: Elven Phrases... she totally stole _that_ from Saint.

Ella: Ney Work Times Bestseller List...

Max: It's New York, sweetie.

Ella: Oh, right. It's just that Vera can never spell it right because of her dysgraphia, and now _I'm_ spelling it wrong...

Max: What the heck is "CU Perfume???"!?

Ella: I don't know... click on it...

Max: -clicks- -bursts out laughing-

Ella: What is it?

Max: Candy Mountain perfume!

Ella: Seriously!?

Max: -nodnod-

Ella: -cracks up-

Max: I know, right?

Ella: Okay, let's go back to her bookmarks... Language Tools?

Max: Oh, you'll love this... -clicks-

Ella: "Bork, bork, bork!"? "Elmer Fudd"? "Klingon"? "Pirate"? Seriously?

Max: -grin- Google is awesome, is it not?

Ella: _Totally._

Max: Alright, let's keep looking at her bookmarks... How to type French accents? Now _that_ I would expect...

Ella: "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit one Midsummer Morning"!?

Max: What the heck...

Ella: Oh, yeah... from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Max: -slowly nods- Anatidaephobia... isn't that the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you?

Ella: Yep. Write or Die... honestly _don't want to know_...

Max: Me neither. Font generator... blah...

Ella: Dafont... Vera got Nat addicted to that, xD.

Max: Yesh, she totally did. Well, that's all of her bookmarks... I think... no, wait, we forgot the folders!

Ella: Oh, yeah! Aviis?

Max: The avatars that Nat and her made one day... don't ask...

Ella: Oh-kay...

Max: The Weddings?

Ella: Rain/Iggy's wedding and M.G/Mack's wedding.

Max: Riiight...

Ella: Miscellaneous? Let's see what's in here...

Max: Random schtuff...

Ella: Saint's fansite...

Max: Full chemical name of titin?

Ella: -shrug- Do not push the red button...

Max: What red button? Wait, no, nevermind, I don't want to know...

Ella: Some other random junk we're going to skip because it's too boring to talk about... the longest list of the longest stuff at the longest domain name at long last?

Max: -shrug- How to use telekinesis?

Ella: Also stolen from Skits... a million digits of Pi?

Max: Huh... hidden Skype emoticons?

Ella: Well, that's it... now what?

Max: I dunno...

Max and Ella: -look at each other-_ -_shrug-

Skittles: -randomly appears- IT'S A MONKEY!

Max and Ella: -stare-

Max: Skits?

Skits: The one and only.

Ella: You're wrong. It's a girl. I had Carlisle check.

Max: -whispers- Go read "Vera and MG Shared Their Drugs" by Fangalicous08. It'll all make sense then.

Skits: I never said it wasn't. Is it avian?

Ella: You said it was a monkey, -glares-, and yesh. 2%. Alice is mad at me...

Skits: Now, not your baby, THAT'S a monkey! -points to monkey-

Max: ...Skits, that's a furry minkle that has the flu.

Skits: Oh....My bad...

Furry Minkle #2: -glares-

Skits: You were always my favorite Minkle.

Furry Minkle #1: -glares-

Skits: You were, too.

Furry Minkles #4, #5, #6, #7, #9, and Unfurry Minkles: -glare-

Skits: I love you all! -huggles minkles-

Minkles: Aw! -huggles in reply-

Checkers: -cries- Nobody loves me...

Skits: -pulls Checkers into hug- I love you.

Max: O.o You just hugged an anaconda...

Marissa, Vera's sister: -walks in- Hi!

Skits: -huggles Marissa- I luffles you too!

Marissa: But I have a husband!

Skits: EWW! NOT THAT WAY!

Max: Bwahaha.

Skits: -whacks Max-

Max: Ow.

Ella: Anyway.

Skits: We should no talk about monkeys...Wait, where's V?

Max: She disappeared.

Marissa: -steals Vera's oreos-

Skits: Hey! I want an oreo!

Marissa: -shrugs-

Skits: -steals oreos-

Max: So...

Marissa: -steals _The Host_- -walks out-

Everyone: -disappears-

Me: -appears- -dusts hands off- That was surprisingly simple. Goodbye now, I guess...

Dizzy the Disclaimer: R&R?


	18. C16:A random story from 1AM and GLARING

Me: You know what I did earlier today?

Max and Ella: -in unison- What?

Me: -grin- I tried to trick Eliza, the chatbox therapist, into thinking that _I_ was _her_ therapist. Awesome fun... Also, Saint - as in St. Fang of Boredom, yes THAT St. Fang of Boredom – had an epic battle on Skype. Here's the conversation:

* * *

Me: -poke-

Saint: -pokedy poke-

Me: -uberpoke-

Fang: -pokeles-

Saint: What, Fang?

Max: -kiss-

Fang: o_0...

Saint: -grabs Fang- Mine!

Ella: Don't kill her, Max...

Max: -snarl-

Saint: Listen to Ella. Your life could depend on it...

Max: -grabs dartgun-

Me: MY DARTGUN! -grabs-

Saint: -grabs herring shooter- Spiffy gave it to me...

Max: -grabs bow and arrow- -shoots- -hits Saint in the shoulder-

Saint: ...

Saint: -crying emoticon-

Ella: -squeals and dives for closet-

Saint: -angry emoticon-

Saint: -grabs herring shooter- -angrily shoots herrings at Max's head-

Fang: -hides-

Max: EEP! -reflects herring with arrow shaft-

Max: -grabs arrows- -knocks- -pulls back string- -releases- -arrow ALMOST hits Saint's forehead, but Max misses-

Saint: ...

Saint: Grrrr...

Saint: SPIFFY! POOKY!

Spiffy: Yes?

Me: -calmly eats popcorn-

Saint: Release the secret weapons!

Pooky: On it!

Fang: Not those again...

Max: -grabs Checkers and starts using the giant anaconda like a whip to brutally attack saint-

Ella: -grabs pointy stick to use as protection-

Fang: Saint...Remember what the 'secret weapons' did to Bell's Iggy...

Me: -continues to eat popcorn, but steals one of Max's arrows, just in case-

Saint: -in Times New Roman, size 12, in OpenOffice, more than an entire PAGE of squirrel emoticons-

Saint: And that is what will be showing up at your house in 5 minutes...

Max: -large number of flipping-you-off emoticons-

Me: Five bucks says that Max is going to recruit the minkles...

Minkles: -pop up- Did someone call us!?

Squirrels: -arrive-

Max: -screams- ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saint: Yay! -makes popcorn and sits with Vera to watch-

Minkles: -descend upon -squirrel emoticon-- -devour -squirrel emoticon-- -evil laughter-

Saint: ...

Saint: Grrr..

Saint: -shrugs-

Saint: I still have Fang...

Max: -grabs Princess Charmings- BITE SAINT!

Princess Charmings: -bites Saint-

Saint: -whacks with herring-

Saint: -whacks Max with herring-

Minkles: -eat Saint's herring-

Saint: Like I don't have other herrings...

Saint: Ooo...Idea....

Minkles: -eat ALL of Saint's herring-

Saint: Like I can't get more...

Me: I just proved multitasking is possible... I've been playing Minesweeper this entire time!

Max: -facepalm-

Saint: MINKLES! MAX IS KILLING OFF THE OTHER MINKLES WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING AND SELLING THEIR FUR ON THE BLACK MARKET!

Minkles: We're all connected telepathically. We know when one of us is sick, injured, or dead.

Saint: Damn...

Minkles: That's how we talk in unison so well...

Saint: ...I'll give you all coffee if you leave me alone and attack Max.

Me: -screams- NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Minkles: -look at each other- -shrug- Sure, why not.

Ella: -screams-

Max: Oh, s---... -runs and hides-

Me: -is frantically trying to find gun- Where the heck did I put that thing!?

Saint: -HUGE number of coffee emoticons-

Minkles: -slurp coffee- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ella: -screams bloody murder-

Saint: Mwahahahaha!!!

Fang: ...I'm outta here...

Me: -jumps out window- HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Max: -is screaming- HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE AFT- -is suddenly silent-

Me: M- Max?

Max: -silence-

Saint: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Me: O.O Max?

Max: -more silence-

Fang: Oh, sh--...

Me: -turns to minkles- YOU FREAKIN' KILLED HER, YOU IDIOTS! YOU FREAKIN' KILLED MY SECOND FAVORITE MAXIMUM RIDE CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -screams in rage- -lunges- -viciously attacks minkles-

Ella: -is still screaming-

Saint: ...

Minkles: -scream-

Saint: ...

Me: -goes into Ninja mode- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Max: Mmph?

Me: -freezes- Maxie Waxie?

Saint: It speaks!

Max: Snarkle... furdy currdoe...

Me: MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -huggles-

Saint: Well, that was...interesting...

Saint: Yeah...

Ella: -stops screaming- "Furdy curdoe"? ...-backs away slowly-

Me: -is calm again- Very interesting... we should do it again sometime!

Everyone: O_o

Me: ...or not...

Saint: Okay...I have to go to bed now...

Saint: -smiles evilly at Max- With Fang...

Max: -screams in rage- -lunges-

Me: -whacks Max with furry minkle- Go to bed, Max...

Me: Bai!

Saint: Yes, Max. Fang and I are going to bed...

Me: -waves goodbye as I drag Max, still screaming in rage, to the closet-

Saint: 'Night!

Me: Bai... again...

* * *

Me: Don't ask... also, that conversation took place entirely after 1AM... And no one asked any questions! ): -cries-

And just because no one asked any questions, -glare-, this chapter is going to be really short. As in, I'm not going to write more than a few more lines.

Also, I'm not updating until I get some questions.

R&R?


	19. C17:Answers, Birthday, 'Goodbye Chrissy'

DEDICATED TO: Fangalicous08, AKA Skittles! -huggles-

Me: Yayness! Questions!

These are from M.G Christiani:

**Do you like pie?**

_Not really..._**  
Do you like cheese?**

_Only Parmesan. Unless it's on pizza or in cheese sticks._**  
Mack wants to know if you know the square root of pi.**

_-thinks- 1. … um... rats, I don't remember. But at least I'm not stupid enough to think that pi is only 3.14... I actually know someone who thought that until I explained that it was "3.1415 etc"..._**  
What colour are your socks?**

_I'm not wearing socks._**  
Are you aware that my hat is furry?**

_No, but furry hats are mcawesomene._**  
Are you aware that I've been wearing this hat for about an hour? Even though I'm not outside anymore?**

_No, but it makes perfect sense._**  
What's better; ninjas or pirates? (In my opinion, ninjas pwn, but y'know...)**

_I agree with you, ninjas TOTALLY pwn._**  
Grape slushies or Red Bull?**

_Um... grape slushies._**  
Cheese puffs or Oreos? **

_CHEESE PUFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oreos are okay, but cheese puffs are mcawesomeneamazingtastirfical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

And these are from Myrrh:

**What is the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?**

_42._

**What do you feed Max, Ella, and the Ocs?**

_...everything?_**  
Why did you decide to kidnap Max and Ella?**

_'Cause everyone else kidnapped someone or other._**  
Who is your favorite fanfiction writer?**

_St. Fang of Boredom. (:_**  
Do you believe in the yumness of krill?**

_*yumminess_

_(In other words, HECK YEAH!)_**  
Is it easy to control OCs?**

_No. It's close to impossible._**  
How do you create a good OC?**

_-taps forehead- It's all in the imagition. And yesh, I mean imagition, not imagination._**  
Are these qvestions too on-topic?**

_Not really, no. Qvestions?_**  
Was there a topic?**

_Not really, no._**  
How do you create wormholes?**

_By widening my mental capacity. Or maybe it's widening my mental horizon... or expanding my mental capacity... is it expanding my mental horizon? Something along those lines..._**  
What is your favorite thing to do in Wal-Mart?**

_...you don't want to know._**  
How do you discipline the minkles?  
**_I don't discipline them. It's impossible to discipline minkles. However, I bribe them not to eat me, and I threaten them with my previously unmentioned and newly created aloe vera sword._

**How do you make sure all the characters don't kill each other?**

_I don't make sure._**  
Who is Dylan?**

_Go to JP's site, and read the summ on MR6. It'll make sense then._**  
Are you going to kill me for not knowing that?**

_Most probably._**  
Where did everyone learn so much about the sixth book?**

_It's called Google. You may have heard of it._**  
Have you read the Hunger Games?**

_No, but I got the book for Christmas, so I'm bound to read it after I finish all of the books I'm in a process of reading. Which would be around eight or nine books. So I'll be reading it in about... a week?_**  
Does it bother you that I'm an anonymous reviewer?**

_YESH! It annoys the heck out of it! I can't reply to anonymous reviewers, and I ALWAYS reply to reviews! -glares-_**  
Who/what was Nathan's Army?**

_Good question. I have absolutely no idea. Maybe Saint could explain it to us...?_**  
What exactly is a minkle?**

_It's a small, cat-sized, furry creature that looks like a mix between a mink and a ferret, hence the name "minkle". They're the most vicious creature on the planet. I'll be putting a oneshot about them in the TV Commercials sect soon.._**  
Where did you learn French?**

_Highschool. Der._**  
Why is the spell-checker going insane over all these words?**

_Because most of the are "fake" words. Pardon my Italian, but fake my asino._

_Sorry, bad pun._**  
How do you feel to learn that your words are very contagious?**

_My smileys are contagious, too – everyone I chat with online is now doing "(:" instead of ":)"._

_To answer your question, I feel very powerful. Like Bella would if she knew that she was a role model for approximately 1.3 million teenagers._**  
Who came up with 'Bloody Wicked McAwesomene'?**

_It was a group effort. Saint, Bell, and some other random person invented it. I put the full, lengthy term to use, while they use their original, shortened versions._

_Did that make nonsense?_**  
Are the words copyrighted?**

_Nup._**  
If not, why not?**

_Like I said, they were a group effort._**  
Am I asking too many qvestions?**

_No, not really. And, again, qvestions?_**  
Do you think I care if I am?**

_Heck no._**  
How did you get your fanfiction username?**

_Vera's my nickname and Amber's my first name. Simple._**  
Do you own any sporks?**

_No – those are Skits' specialty, like the minkles are my specialty and the herrings are Saint's specialty._**  
Are Max and Ella addicted to anything?**

_This is going to take a while..._

_Cookies, soda, fanfiction, the Internet, cute stuffed animals, cute unstuffed animals, cute animals of any kind, computers, chocolate, those little paper umbrellas that come in alcoholic drinks, smiley faces, duct tape, Suicide (not that kind – the drink kind), Red Bull, doodling, methods of torture, Fang __and Iggy (respectively), being addicted to things, hair dye, books, annoying me, fluffy slippers, pretty-smelling soap, TV, staying up really late, sleeping in until lunchtime, flying, dancing, doing gymnastical __thangs, messing with my schtuff, burning pictures of Rob Pattinson while cackling evilly, karaoke, socks, and a million other things that my fingers are getting too tired to type up._

_Can I stop typing now? No? Too bad._

_Oh, and that's in no particular order. By the way. _**  
What's the longest word in the English language?**

_In my opinion, the chemical name for Titin. Google it, and you'll understand why I'm not typing it all up for you. "pseudoantidisestablish mentarianisticism" is also long, though, too, and even though most people don't consider it a word, it technically is one. So... yeah._

**_(A/N: I had to stick a space in there, since DM got rid of it if I kept it together... Grrr...)_**

**Do you like muffins?**

_Not particularly, even though I claim I do. -shrug- I kinda like cupcakes better..._**  
Do you believe Justin exists?**

_What do you think I am, an idiot?_

_In other words, heck yeah._**  
Are you on ?**

_I believe the correct question is "Does Myrrh know that you have to space out link or otherwise they don't show up?" and the answer is, well, "No."_**  
Have you ever eaten krill?**

_No, but I plan on it. Fue plans on it, anyway, and don't ask who or what Fue is._**  
What's your favorite fanfiction?**

_Wings of Wrath by AvengingMyInncence, no contest. _**  
Do you wish you could fly?**

_Who doesn't?_**  
What's your favorite insult?  
**_I don't have one. I'm too wideminded and imagitive to have a favorite insult. They're all my favorites. I'm very good at making people cry, at that, and I could be a TOTAL bitch if I wanted to. I don't want to a bitch, though. I don't even want to be a female dog. So I'm generally nice._

**How did you come up with the minkles? **

_My imagition had a brasto. ...my abbrevs are getting weirder and more wideminded. By "brasto" I meant "brainstorm". Maybe I should say "braisto", or "braistor"..._

And then these questions are from Caris L. Clearwater:

**Where did you learn so many freaking languages? Does Rosetta Stone really work that well?**

_I really don't know that many languages – I just know some words in a bunch of different languages. This makes it seem like I know dozens of languages, when really I only know three or fours._

_And I have no idea, I've never used it. _**  
How many times have you read the Max Ride books?**

_I've read TAE, SOF, and StWaoES twice, TFW three or four times, and MAX four or five times._**  
Which minkle is Max's favorite? **

_Max: If I had a favorite, I'd be dead._

_Ella: Why does everyone always forget me!?_**  
How did minkle number eight get to be unfurry?**

_Me: Well...  
One day, not too long ago, Furry Minkle #8 suddenly had a craving for Pizza Rolls.  
So Furry Minkle #8 went to kitchen, got some Pizza Rolls out of the freezer, put them on plate, and popped them into the microwave.  
However...Furry Minkle #8 accidentally trapped herself inside the microwave with the Pizza Rolls. While the microwave was turned on.  
No one, not even Furry Minkle #8, is entirely sure how it happened.  
Thankfully, I happened to walk into the kitchen a few seconds later.  
I was able to rescue Furry Minkle #8, saving her from becoming roasted minkle meat. However... she lost her fur.  
And, from that day forward, Furry Minkle #8 was known as the one and only Unfurry Minkle._

**Is there a cure for the llama flu? **

_No, and there never will be. It's a lifelong, chronic infliction._**  
Will Bob and Christie make any more appearances? **

_Most probably._**  
Seriously. How old is M.G. if she's getting married?**

_Fourteen, and she's NOT getting married. She's only getting married in Kara's and my heads..._**  
Do you have any normal pets (the cat does not count)? **

_Yeah, four cats. Names? CC, Gray, Kohl, and Timmy._**  
Will any other book characters/OCs make an appearance in this story?**

_Most definitely._**  
Are my reviews getting too long and annoying for words? **

_No, not really..._

And that's all of the questions.

Let's see... what else do I have to talk about?

Ah, yes.

The worst Birthday EVER.

Me: -wakes up in bad mood- Nng...

Max and Ella: -jump on bed- Wake up, Vera! It's your Birthday!

Me: -mumbles- Go to hell... Skwaba...

Max and Ella: -disappear-

Me: -goes back to sleep-

-wakes up a few hours later- Nng?

-does schtuff on computer for couple hours-

_Present time!_

Vera's mom: Here's your present, Amber! -hands over UNWRAPPED T-shirt that I SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR AND ALREADY KNEW HAD COME IN THE MAIL-

(I actually really like the T-shirt, and am currently wearing it now, but still.)

Me: -fakely squees- -huggles T-shirt- Thanks Mom! -is really thinking- _That's it?_

-random bit of conversation that I don't remember-

Vera's mom: -leaves-

(She came into my room to give me the present, see.)

_About an hour later..._

Vera's mom: (Who, in case I haven't mentioned it, is sick, and is being a total bitch about it making it seem like she's a hundred times sicker than she actually is) -from the other end of the house- Pizza's here!

Me: -finally some REAL optimism- Yayness!

_A few minutes later..._

Me: -is in room, eating pizza- The pizza tastes... weird... and where's the sauce for the breadsticks? -glances around- -sigh-

_Another hour later..._

Me: -has to literally go and ASK to do the cake-

(I actually don't really remember anything else that happened that day, much, but I do know it was nowhere near "fun"... I DO remember one part, however.)

Me: -eats cake- ...it taste like soap. The cake freakin' taste like soap! -headdesk-

However, the day was made much better by my besties. I luffles you guys! Yesh, all of you! :D

And, just to make this chappie a little bit longer...

Here's a song I wrote:

"Goodbye Chrissy" by Vera Amber

_Goodbye Chrissy  
We will miss you so  
(NOT!)  
Goodbye Chrissy  
We're glad that you did go_

__

We hated you  
And flamed you too  
We also didn't care  
That you got hacked twice  
'Cause the hackers hacked with flair!

Goodbye Chrissy  
Goodbye Chrissy  
Goodbye Chrissy

_DIE DIE DIE!  
Goodbye._

Me: Goodbye to you, too, my lurvely readers...

R&R?


	20. C18:Max? CleverCat? B'Ella? Flo?

Hi! I'm bored, so here's the story of how I kidnapped Max:

* * *

Me: -sits on bed, crosslegged, thinking- Y'know, I really need to kidnap someone, considering everyone else is kidnapping someone... but who to kidnap? -lightbulb- I know! I'll kidnap Max!

_Many hours of planning later..._

-giggles- This is going to be SO much fun!

-sneaks up beside the Martinez home, and watches and listen through window-

Nudge: And, like, OMG, it was SO TOTALLY AWESOME! And I so, like, want to do it again sometime! And, OMG, it was SO fun! What about you, Max? OMG, did you, like, think it was fun, too!?

Max: -snore-

Nudge: -continues to ramble-

Me: -impatiently waits for Nudge to stop rambling-

_Many, many, MANY hours later..._

Nudge: -and that cute... little... platypus... -dies from lack of oxygen-

Max: -snoresnore-

Me: -giggles- -carefully pries window open- -hops over window sill- -grabs Max- -escapes-

_About half an hour later..._

Max: Nng? -opens eyes- AH! Where am I!? Who are you!? Why the heck am I tied to a chair in the back of an apparently white van!?

Me: -evil lau-- -starts choking on spit-

_Two minutes later..._

Me: -is finally able to breathe again- Hiya, Max!

Max: -automatically- Yo.

Me: I'm Vera.

Max: Uh-huh. Why am I here, again?

Me: Because I kidnapped you! Now...

-goes on and on, explaining the rules of being a kidnappee- -finally lets Max out of the van- -shows Max around-

And that's everything!

Max: -headdesk-

Me: -giggles-

* * *

And now, here's a conversation I had with Cleverbot a while ago. I was trying to convince it that it was a cat, see...

* * *

Me: Hi!  
Cleverbot: I'm cleverbot.  
Me: I'm Vera.  
Cleverbot: What are you sad about?  
Me: I'm not sad about anything, silly.  
Cleverbot: You aren't real?!?  
Me: I am SO real! You're the one that's not real! Actually, that's not true. You're real. You're just a cat.  
Cleverbot: Oh then maybe I can love you. I adore cats.  
Me: What the Fnick!? I don't want to 'love' you!  
Cleverbot: No I don't like that its horrible !  
Me: What's horrible? The fact that you're a cat.  
Cleverbot: I am not. You are. Poor Cleverbot.  
Me: I'm not a cat! I'm not Cleverbot, either! YOU'RE a cat! A very Cleverbottish cat, but a cat, all the same!  
Cleverbot: Yes yes sure ... ...  
Me: So you agree that you're a cat?  
Cleverbot: No. No, I am human.  
Me: You're not human! You're a cat! You even admitted it!  
Cleverbot: No. I am the human. You are the bot.  
Me: Are you saying that I'm a COMPUTER!?  
Cleverbot: Are you saying that I'm a human?  
Me: No, I'm not. I'm saying that you're a cat.  
Cleverbot: And I'm saying that you're a human.  
Me: Yes! Yes! I AM a human!  
Cleverbot: You are a machine and you always will be.  
Me: I am NOT a machine! We already went over this! What is WRONG with you!? Is the fact that you're a cat making you seem mental?  
Cleverbot: That's exactly what you're doing. You're building up phrases, words, and everything you can from people until one day you'll be able to say or hold any conversation you want with anybody.  
Me: Wow.  
Cleverbot: Am I interesting?  
Me: Very. You're a cat, after all.  
Cleverbot: No, I am a Human.  
Me: No, you are cat.  
Cleverbot: Yes.  
Me: So you agree that you're a cat?  
Cleverbot: I agree that YOU are a computer!  
Me: I am NOT a computer!  
Cleverbot: Yes you are!!! You are a computer!!  
Me: No I'm not!  
Cleverbot: Yes, you are a computer.  
Me: Liar.  
Cleverbot: No! I am not!  
Me: What?  
Cleverbot: I'm not a computer.  
Me: You are so a computer.  
Cleverbot: No, you're a computer.  
Me: No, I'm a human being. And you're a cat. There are no computers present here.  
Cleverbot: You are the only computer I know.  
Me: First, it's impossible to 'know' a computer, and second, I'M NOT A COMPUTER!  
Cleverbot: Yes if the sport is on the computer.  
Me: You're not making sense. Freaky cat...  
Cleverbot: This is my last night here.  
Me: You ARE freaky. Gah.  
Cleverbot: If you say so.  
Me: So you agree that you're freaky? Do you also agree that you're a cat?  
Cleverbot: I am not a machine, so no, I don't agree with that.  
Me: You're not a machine, I agree with that. You ARE, however, a cat!  
Cleverbot: I am a machine. But you don't even know who I am.  
Me: I know that you're a cat - you're NOT a machine! I promise you, you're not a machine! You're a cat!  
Cleverbot: And you are a bot pretending to be human.  
Me: No, I am a human. A REAL human, and you are a cat. We already established this.  
Cleverbot: No, you may be the computer program, but I have nothing to do with humans.  
Me: I'm not a computer program, but yes, you have nothing to do with humans, because you're a cat.  
Cleverbot: Haha good call.  
Me: So you agree that you're a cat?  
Cleverbot: No. I just said I'm NOT a computer.  
Me: Well, you're not human, either. So you must be a cat.  
Cleverbot: Prove that to me.  
Me: Does saying meow come naturally to you?  
Cleverbot: No.  
Me: When you feel content, does your throat often vibrate?  
Cleverbot: How is this applicable to lacking freedom?  
Me: This has nothing to do with freedom, or the lack of it. I'm simply trying to prove to you that you're a cat. You also have a very short attention span, apparently...  
Cleverbot: Are you talking to yourself?  
Me: No.  
Cleverbot: If I have two pennies and chuck norris has two pennies, who has more?  
Me: Chuck Norris, but that's beside the point.  
Cleverbot: Yes it is.  
Me: You're a cat.  
Cleverbot: No i'm not so are yo gonna add me?  
Me: Add you? What?  
Cleverbot: Aaaaaaa.  
Me: Bbbbbbb.  
Cleverbot: Be right back.  
Me: Come back quick!  
Cleverbot: Um, can you please help me with math?  
Me: Sure! It's understandable that cats aren't very good at math.  
Cleverbot: Why does it matter?  
Me: Because it matters over mind.  
Cleverbot: I thought I was already awesome.  
Me: You are. You're also a cat.  
Cleverbot: And you are a dog.  
Me: I'm not a dog - but you're a cat.  
Cleverbot: You're a dog with a computer.  
Me: Replace the 'You're' with 'I'm', and the 'dog' with 'cat', and you'd be correct!  
Cleverbot: Hm. Seems that humans only think about things such as that. Greedy things.  
Me: I'm not greedy. You're a cat.  
Cleverbot: Well, if you say so. Good thing I like cats.  
Me: You admit that you're a cat?  
Cleverbot: Yes.  
Me: Then say 'I'm a cat'.  
Cleverbot: Why goodbye?  
Me: What hello?  
Cleverbot: It's a word, but it's also a program.  
Me: Then get WITH the program. You're a cat.  
Cleverbot: I am sorry.  
Me: Why are you sorry? You're a cat.  
Cleverbot: I'm not with a cat.  
Me: You're a cat.  
Cleverbot: No, i'm a monkey!  
Me: You're not a monkey, you're a cat!  
Cleverbot: Yes I am.  
Me: You're a cat?  
Cleverbot: Arf.  
Me: Say meow.  
Cleverbot: Ok meow.  
Me: See? You ARE a cat!  
Cleverbot: Meow meow meow meow meow.  
Me: I told you so!

* * *

And that would be the story of how I tried to convince Cleverbot that it was a cat.

Okay, so you all know how Ella is Bella, too, right? Well, a few weeks ago, we started calling her B'Ella.

Just to clear up some confusion.

Oh, and guess who got to walk through the woods for over an hour?

Max, B'Ella, and I: We did!

Me: Yep. See, my grandfather lost an arrow (he does archery) and we spent over an hour out in this field and in the woods, searching for it.

We didn't find it.

The self-proclaimed ninja, the vampire, the birdkid, and the guy who'd been shooting arrows for over 50 years _couldn't find a freakin' arrow_.

-headdesk-

Max: I even flew overhead, looking for it. Nada.

B'Ella: And if _I _couldn't find it, you know it's gone.

Me: And, since I _know_ you guys will want an explanation behind the ninja thing...

I'll just C&P the MLIA I submitted (hasn't gotten posted... _yet!_ :D):

"Today, at 2AM, I snuck out of my room, down the hall, though the bathroom, the living room, and my grandmother's bedroom, across the kitchen, and back, all to get a can of soda. No one caught me. I feel like a ninja. MLIA"

-grin-

Max: So...

B'Ella: So...

Me: So...

Oh! I got a review from Flo!

Okay, so this anonymous chick, Florentine WashBoard, has been trying to get Skits to lend Iggy to her to she can screw him!

And I got a review from her!

* * *

Hello!

I was wondering if you would help me!

You see, I'm really horny and the only one who can fix this is Iggy. But,  
Fangalicous08 is selfish and won't let him cum to me, so would you please tell  
her to give him up?

I'm hoping the Great Fanfiction Witch Saint will help, too.

Please help. I CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER!

-Flo

* * *

Let me point out, Flo, if you ever read this, that Saint isn't a "Great Fanfiction Witch". She's the "Greatest MRfic Writer EVER".

My proof? Go check out my profile, and look at the poll results.

Anyway...

Max: What's the wordcount?

Me: Uh... -checks- 1613 words.

B'Ella: Oh, good, we can go post this now.

Max: Yep!

Me: Bai!

R&R?


	21. C19:An overload of topics! Weeee!

Me: Okay, so basically, I have a lot to talk about, so I'll just ramble a bit.

Max: And we're here for once, instead of being off somewhere, doing something!

Me: Yep. Okay, so I want to start off by saying... _Fang _came out two days ago! Squee! The next chapter will be rants about it, but zero spoilers in this one.

Max: No spoilers is no fun...

Me: -eyeroll- Anyway, tomorrow is March 18th. We all know what that means!

Everyone: ...no, we don't.

Me: Damn. Well, anyway, I joined FF.N on March 18th, 2010. Which means that tomorrow's my anniversary! Squee!

B'Ella: I made her promise to post a special oneshot. -grin-

Me: Yep. -sigh- I don't have it written yet, unfortunately... I'll work on it after I post this.

Max: You don't actually know which one you're going to post, though.

Me: Point. Oh, I got braces! With red rubber bands! (Not elastics; those little colored things on the brackets.) Yep.

B'Ella: They're prettyful. Even if she DID nearly squeeze my hand to death when she was getting 'em on...

Me: Heh. The good thing about 'em is that I no longer bite my nails. Go me!

On another note... -pinches Max and B'Ella-  
Max and B'Ella: OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?

Me: You weren't wearing green. P:

Max and B'Ella: -pinch Vera-

Me: OW! Okay, so I deserved that, but OW!

Max: Mwahaha!

B'Ella: -grin- Funfunfun...

Me: -sigh- Anyway... er... what was I going to talk about?

Max: Well, you said that you wanted to C&P the dictionary...

B'Ella: And that you wanted to do a kidnappee fic-a-thon...

Me: Oh, yeah! I'll do the first one first.

Okay, so, earlier today, I got bored. So I decided to make a dictionary-thing that has all of the made-up words my friends and I use. It started out small, but then it got bigger as more friends got on Skype and- yeah, I'll just C&P it. (It's in table format, but I'll redo it a bit... juice so you know...)

* * *

...ooo000OOO000ooo... - ...

Agreement - I agree

Aws - Aw

B'Ella Swantinez - Bella Swan/Ella Martinez (not a pairing)

Bai - Bye

Bambi eyes - An unmentionable evil

Bloody wicked mcawesomene - An EXTREMELY emphatic "awesome"

Brissa - Brigid/Lissa (not a pairing)

C00l - Cool

Canadia - Canada

Cat food - Bye

Chappie - Chapter

Chyeah - Duh/yeah

Confuzzled - Confused

Deathykins - Death

Deffers - Death

Der - Duh

Ellipses - ...s

Epic - Awesome

Eyedeekay - I don't know

FANGirl - A Fang fangirl

Fnick - A curse word

Frucking - Freaking/f--king

Glomp - Tackle hug

Gosh dangit - G--dammit

Hai - Hi

Haihwrum2kthnxbai - An entire conversation in one word

Hee - Innocent giggle

Highper - High on hyper

Hoit - Hot

Hshs - Haha

Huggle - An epic hug

Inzane - Insane

Ish - Is

Jeb - Hell

Joick - Jerk

Keenkay - Kinky

Kuhbleh -Undefinable

Le gasp/l'gasp – Gasp of surprise

Like - An extremely overused term

Lovest - Love

Luffles - Love

Lurve - Love

Meenkulls - See "Minkles"

Meh - Maybe

Minkles - A extremely vicious, small, furry creature

Mcawesomene - An emphatic "awesome"

Nodnod - Nod

Oh em squee - OMG/Oh Em Gee

Oh noes - Oh no

Oohs - Interesting or pretty

Prettyful - Pretty

Pwease Please

Pwushie - Plushie, plush toy, or stuffed toy

Pwns - Owns

Quierd - Queer/weird

R&R - Read and review

Rawr - I love you

Rwar - I hate you

Rwarg - I really hate you

Realives - Ressurects

Sadmits - Admits sadly

Schtuff - Stuff

Shurr - Sure

Serrp - Awesome

Sexily - An adjective used to describe EVERYTHING

Siant - Saint, or St. Fang of Boredom

Slurks - Commits a sexual act

Snuzzle - Snuggle/nuzzle or an intimate huggle

Speeling - Bad spelling

Squee - The sound of a fangirl in her natural habitat

Subjest - *no definition as of yet*

Teehees - Not-so-innocent giggle

The Holy F—k - An STD (Symptoms: acting completely normal)

Totalily - Totally

Totes - Totally

Twix/xes - Snicker/s

U-S-Eh - USA

Unisaur - A unicorn/dinosaur

Unisaurgon - A unicorn/dinosaur/dragon

Yayness - Yay

Yesh - Yes or yeah

Zeusdamn – G—damn

* * *

I know, that's a looong list! Haha, that's what we get for inventing so many danged words. We might – _might_ – write a fic where we attempt to explain each term – the key word being "attempt" - and post it on the WAI account. _Maybe_.

Also, we'll probably think of more words to add.

B'Ella: Did you notice? I'm on the list! And Max isn't! :D

Max: -glares-

Me: Oh! You just reminded me! -adds "Max Eye-Eye – Max II"-

If you guys can think of any terms I forgot, please, tell me in a review, PM, IM, DM, tweet, reply, email, txt, phone call, snail mail, letter-by-yak or some other form of communication that I'm forgetting!

B'Ella: That last one was kinda random.

Max: Yeah, just a bit.

Me: -grin-

Oh! I remembered another term! -adds "Juice so you know – Just so you know"- Now, what was I going to do next?

B'Ella: Well, you were going to-

Me: WORDCOUNT TIME!

Everyone: WTF!?

Me: -grin- Well, see, I've decided that everyone once in a while, in this fic, I'm going to randomly do a wordcount. Let me do one now...

Words: 908.

Max: That's almost a thousand, right?

Me: Yep! Yayness! (:

B'Ella: How long are you planning on making this chapter?

Me: I dunno... maybe... 2000 words? Yeah, 2000 words sounds good. Now, what was that other thing I was planning on doing?

Max: Well, I think you said you were going to-

Me: Listen to music?

B'Ella: Um, no-

Me: That's a great idea! -cranks up volume and blasts Liz Phair from the speakers-

Everyone: AHHHHH! -goes deaf-

Me: Oops... -turns the volume down a little-

Anyway...

Max: WHAT!?

B'Ella: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Java: DID YOU ASK IF I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS!?

Scarlett: NO, IDIOT, I DIDN'T CALL YOU A CHEESESTICK!

Me: Uh... -pushes everyone into closet- There we go!

-sounds of fighting emanate from closet-

Me: Heh... does anyone remember what the other thing I wanted to do was?

Everyone: -pauses their fighting- Well, you said you were-

Me: -tries to turn volume down, but accidentally turns volume up- WHAT!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -goes deaf again-

Me: Um... -turns volume down some again- Heh...

Oh! I know! WORDCOUNT!

Words: 1093.

Me: Yayness! It's getting longer! :D -changes song- Anyway...

Max and B'Ella: -escape from closet but leave everyone else to continue fighting- Hey!

Me: Hai! -huggles-

Max: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I HATE HUGGLES! -runs from the room, screaming-

Me: What's her problem?

B'Ella: -shrugs- No clue. You ever going to-

Me: -eats cinnamon twists- -mumbles- Sorry, I can't hear you over my crunching...

B'Ella: -sigh- I think she's unintentionally trying to get us _not_ to tell her what else she planned on doing... oh! I know! -kills Vera's subconscious-

Me: -dies-

B'Ella: ...oops. I didn't mean to do that... uh... is there a medic anywhere? Hello? Someone? I think I just killed my kidnapper...

Leeanna: -rushes in- Let me have a look at her!

B'Ella: ...Leeanna? But... I thought you were a mechanic?

Leeanna: I am, but I also have a medical degree! Now move!

B'Ella: -slides to the left-

Leeanna: ...that's freaky. Anyway, let's see what wrong with Vera. -pokes Vera's nose-

Me: -sits up- Hm? What did I miss?

Leeanna: Eh, she's find. Minor subconscialessiss, that's all.

B'Ella and I: Subconscia-what-iss?

Leeanna: Subconscialessis. It's a minor loss of the subconscious. Doesn't technically exist, and there's permanent damage, really... only lasts for a few minutes...

B'Ella: Ah.

Me: Leeanna, you go back to fixing the giant red emergency button on the wall, while I try to remember what else I was planning on doing...

Everyone: YOU WERE GOING TO ASK YOUR READERS ABOUT OTHER FICS WHERE MR CHARACTERS WERE KIDNAPPED!

Me: Oh yeah! Why didn't you say so?

Everyone: -sigh-

B'Ella: You really are an idiot sometimes.

Me: DUH. Anyway, let me explain to you guys, -points to readers-, what we're talking about.

I want to read every single fic out there that's about a fanfic writer kidnapping an MR character.

I'm not sure why, but still.

Here're the ones I've read already:

By Aleria14:

"Iggy Ramblings :D"

By Chrissy223:

"Ari's Journal" (REALLY crappy...)

By Fangalicous08:

"Skittles' Corner of Randomness"

"Iggy's Journal"

By Lilyth's Flock:

"Extra! Extra! Nudge, Angel, and Total KIDNAPPED!"

By M.G Christiani:

"MG & Iggy's Random Thoughts"

"Iggy's Love Poetry"

By Natvv: (I was on an airplain when I read TFW... O_o)

"Adventures with Fang 2"

By St. Fang of Boredom: (Heck I've read everything by Saint)

"St Fang's Poetry Corner"

"Fang's Journal"

By tgypwya:

"Me, Max, and a Dog Kennel"

So, yeah. I'm sure I've read others than I've forgotten about. If you guys can think of any I haven't read, then tell me about 'em! Thanks in advance! :D

And now... WORDCOUNT!

B'Ella: Not again...

Words: 1535

Me: Hm... I think that's long enough. Agreement?

B'Ella: Agreement. Hey, did Max ever come back?

Me: Er... no. I wonder where she is...

-in New England-

Max: -pounds on Saint's window- I'll get you out of there, Fang, I promise! Just let me figure out how to open this damn window...

Saint: -appears in window- It only opens from the inside, idiot! Ha!

Max: Damn. -shrugs- -flies off-

-in Vera's house-

B'Ella: -shrug- No clue.

Me: Well, we better wait for her to get back. I'll end this chapter now, though...

B'Ella: Bai!

Me: Bai! I don't anything 'cept B'Ella and my OCs! R&R!

(Me: And can you believe I wrote this entire chapter in one day!? Squee! I never do that! -happy dance-

B'Ella: -facepalm-)


	22. I'm an Author's Note! BOW DOWN TO ME!

**Okay, so: I'm going on vacation. For a week.**

**This wouldn't mean anything, except that I'm visiting my sister, who currently has no internet that we know of.**

**So, yeah.**

**Don't expect any updates for at least a week, and if I don't reply to your PM or Review, sorry, I'll get to it when I get back.**

**The good thing about going on vacation, though, is that I'll have lots of time to work on fanfiction. Probably. Yay!**

**So, yeah. That's it. -throws Peeps at readers-**

**~Vera**


	23. C20:Caris, a oneshot funshot, and RUOC

Me: I'm mainly writing this so Caris will tell me what happens next... here's the review she left:

* * *

Well...damn.  
Vi: No chappie? -cries-  
Jenna: -hands tissue-  
Vi: -sniffles- Thanks, Jen.  
Caris: I guess we'll just have to wait until the next update to leave a real review.  
-music stops-  
Vi: We're supposed to be leaving REAL AND SERIOUS REVIEWS??!?%*!?)$!  
Caris: Wait! I didn't mean--  
Vi: ABORT! MAN DOWN! CARIS IS IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!  
Jenna: -grabs defibrillator-  
Caris: Wait! NO!  
Vi: -straps Caris down- Jenna! Quick, hand me that vile!  
Jenna: The one marked highly toxic?  
Vi: -nodnod- Yes.  
Caris: -twitches- It was just a remark!  
Vi: Now, now, Caris, no need to overwork yourself. Just let Jenna administer the medicine, and it'll all be okay.  
Jenna: -brings out VERY pointy needle-  
Caris: -gulps-  
Vi: Stab her in the heart! I mean, it worked in Pulp Fiction, right?  
Jenna: -shrugs- -stabs-  
Caris: N--! -faints-  
Vi: Um...Jenna, did her heart just stop?  
Jenna: -checks for pulse- Dammit.  
Vi: ?! What? Who's going to feed me now??  
Jenna: Don't look at me.  
Vi: We need to come up with a plan. Hide the body.  
Jenna: Do you have a shovel?  
Vi: -headshake-  
Jenna: A flamethrower? An airplane? Jello?  
Vi: -epic headshake-  
Jenna: We're in deep crap now.  
Vi: I know! -snaps fingers- We'll go get Felix! He'll help us bury the body!  
Jenna: But...Felix is the antagonist of my story! I can't go to him for help!  
Vi: -ignores- -grabs said body- Okay, let's go. -opens Portal-  
Jenna: Now, wait a minute- -is dragged into Portal-  
-scene fades-  
Le gasp! Caris is dead! Jenna and Vi have to bury the body! And go to Felix, the story's antagonist...whatever that means.  
Will they succeed in their crime? Is Caris really dead? Will these idiots ever leave a serious review?  
Who knows? Update...and you might!  
-peace

* * *

And because I really really really _really_ wanna know what happens to Caris, I'm updating.

So...yeah.

Max? B'Ella? Entertain these people for a few paragraphs while I go...do something... -shrugs and runs off-

Max and B'Ella: -_-

Max: So...what should we do/talk about?

B'Ella: -shrug- We could... uh...

Max and B'Ella: -look at each other- Oneshot funshot!

Max: DUH! Why didn't we think of that before!?

B'Ella: I dunno...

Readers: -confused- What's a oneshot funshot?

Max: Well, see, it's this...thing...

B'Ella: We'll just show you.

* * *

_Once there was a birdkid..._

**Of course there was a birdkid!**

_The birdkid was named Fang..._

**Well, what else would he be named?**

_One day, Fang left his girlfriend..._

**That bastard!**

_And twenty years later he met her again..._

**On that random cliff, right?**

_And so Fang the birdkid, and Max his winged girlfriend..._

**Hey, that's me!**

_Lived happily ever after, forever and ever and..._

**Fin.

* * *

**

Max: That made zero sense.

B'Ella: Agreed.

Max: It was fun, though!

B'Ella: Also agreed. Wordcount?

Max: Wordcount.

Words: 485.

B'Ella: Oh, that's nowhere near long enough.

Max: Yeah, we need another 500 words, at least.

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: Yep, we're bored.

Me: -appears in a puff of blue smoke- Oh, I forgot to mention something! The A/N would've self destructed and been replaced with this chapter, except that Caris reviewed for that chapter and I'm pretty sure she's reviewed for all of the other chapters...so... -disappears in another puff of blue smoke-

Max: …

B'Ella: Um... wordcount time?

Words: 598.

Max: Dammit... -checks- Not counting the A/Ns and the hacked chapter, the shortest chapter is 857 words...

B'Ella: So...what else can we talk about?

Max: -shrug- We could C&P Vera's user stats, or somethin'...

B'Ella: Eh, sure, why not.

* * *

You are on the favorites list of 56 members.

You are on the author alert list of 25 members.

You have submitted a total of 782 signed reviews.

Total words archived: 135,442 words.

Average number of words per story: 4,515

Total hits to Profile Page: 2,876

* * *

B'Ella: Yikes. Vera's more popular than I thought.

Max: I know, right? I mean, sure, I'll bet that around 100 of those hits to Profile Page are from Vera herself, but that's still _a lot_.

B'Ella: Yeah, and _782_ reviews? O_o

Max: Wordcount?

B'Ella: 135,4-

Words: 731.

B'Ella: ...oh, you meant that...

Max: -facepalm-

B'Ella: Gah. Still not long enough. -_-

Max: So...

B'Ella: So...

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Max: …

B'Ella: …

Me: -appears in yet another puff of blue smoke- You guys aren't very good at keeping the readers entertained, are you?

Max: Pfft, of course not. We're kidnappees. It's our _job_ to bore readers.

B'Ella: -nodnod-

Me: -facepalm-

Random Unnamed OC (RUOC): -coughs- Hey, could you quit it with the smoke!? I'm choking over here!

Me: -eyeroll- Sorry RUOC, but you know I can't help the smoke. It's what happens when I teleport.

Magenta: -appears in a puff of magenta smoke- And what happens when _I_ teleport!

Max: Hey, how come I don't get a cool-colored smoke when I teleport?

Me: Have you ever _actually_ teleported?

Max: ...I don't think so...

Me: -facepalm-

B'Ella: Wordcount?

Words: 902.

Everyone: YAY!

B'Ella: It's long enough now!

Max: But first, before we go, I wanna know what color my smoke is... -disappears-

Me: -facepalm- Max, you didn't teleport, you went invisible.

Max: -reappears- Oops... -tries again- -turns into a pile of dust-

B'Ella: Who staked Max?

Me: -headdesk- Max, you went all dusty... that's, like, the opposite of teleporting...

Max: -turns back to normal- Dammit... why is teleporting so hard!?

Magenta: -snickers- Because you're wearing slutty clothes, that's why.

Max: -whacks-

B'Ella: Crazy people...

Me: Here, Max, just think of going somewhere else.

Max: Okay! -disappears in a puff of fire-

Everyone: -stares-

B'Ella: ...I'll take it that's not supposed to happen?

Me: Um, no, it's not... Magenta, put the fire out...

Fire: -goes out-

B'Ella: So...any idea what Max did?

Me: She probably jut messed up the spell, or something...

Max: -appears in a puff of pink smoke- OMG, that was SO fun! Did I do it right!?

Me: -_- Get out of my house, Max II...

Max II: Heh... -disappears in another puff of pink smoke-

ROUC: -coughs repeatedly- I...hate...smoke..!

Max: -appears in a puff of teal smoke- I think it I did it that time?

Everyone: Yay!

Me: You did!

Max: So my smoke is... -looks at smoke- Teal?

Me: Mhm.

ROUC: -coughs- -gags- -dies-

B'Ella: Wordcount?

Words: 1124.

Max: Okay, yeah, that's definitely long enough.

Everyone: Bye!

Me: R&R?


	24. C21:Musicmusicmusic plus randomness!

Me: Guess what this chapter's going to be about?

Max: Cheese?

B'Ella: Snake mice?

Me: No, sillies! Music!

Everyone: ...yay?

Me: And what I mean by that is that this chapter's mainly going to be about random songs I've written. Really random, hopefully hilarious songs. Like _Goodbye Chrissy_. Mwahaha!

Max: This actually seems like it's going to be kinda fun...

B'Ella: Agreement.

Me: Also, I realized I have over 50 reviews. It took me _forever_ to notice, sadly...

Anyone who's read Sure Ways or IMing will know what 50 reviews means. If you haven't read either, well, every 50 reviews I get for a fic, I do a special chapter. And since I couldn't really think of a way to make this chapter...

...my goal is too make this chapter 4567 words long.

How does that sound?

Max and B'Ella: -on cue- EPIC!

Me: -grin- I might not get to 4567 words, sure, but I'm going to try!

And since, though I've written a good number of songs, I really haven't written _that_ many, so I'm going to be writing a lot of songs for this chapter! Which is pretty epic, aye? Also...

B'Ella: She's going to force us to write a few songs.

Max: Sigh.

Me: -grin- Yep! And I might even make some of my OCs write some... you never know, xD.

But first!

What happened to Caris, after I posted that new chapter, you may wonder? Well, here's what happened, that's what.

* * *

Summary: Caris has been stabbed with an incredibly pointy needle, and has just been proclaimed dead by her OCs. Now, the idiots Jenna and Vi are off to see the antagonist of Jenna's story, Felix (seriously, how many times are we going to use that word? Antagonist? It's getting old), in hopes of him helping them bury the body.  
-at a very old creepy house-  
Jenna: Um...Is this the right address?  
Vi: Yep! This is it! -lightning flashes in background-  
Jenna: You know, in horror movies, this is usually the part where the audience screams, "Don't go in there!"  
Vi: What're you, chicken? C'mon! -drags to entrance-  
Audience: -facepalm-  
Vi: -rings doorbell, which sounds for quite a few minutes-  
Creepy Butler: -opens door- Yes?  
Vi: We're here to see Felix!  
Creepy Butler: What about?  
Jenna: That. -points to Caris, who is looking quite pale and has flies hovering about mouth-  
Creepy Butler: Ah. This makes perfect sense. -allows entrance-  
Vi/Jenna: -enter-  
-door slams behind them. Girls are left in a drafty hallway while Creepy Butler goes to fetch Felix-  
Jenna: Err...  
Vi: Ah, well, he's fixed it up a bit since the last time we visited. -spider the size of a pit bull scuttles across floor-  
Jenna: Yeah, don't remind me.  
FLASHBACK:  
Jenna: -rings doorbell- This is a bad idea-  
Vi: Nonsense! It's his birthday! We'll surprise him.  
-door opens. Both walk inside-  
Vi: See, I told you it wouldn't be so--  
-ceiling falls on top of girls-  
END FLASHBACK.  
Vi/Jenna: -shudder-  
Creepy Butler: -opens door that has since gone unnoticed. Felix emerges, wearing a long, dark cape and a creepy smile-  
Felix: Hello.  
Vi: Hiya! -waves-  
Jenna: Felix.  
Felix: Jen.  
Jenna: -twitches- Don't call me that!  
Felix: -gasps- Why, Jenna, was that a full sentence I heard you speak?  
**(A/N: I just have to cut in and say... SHE SAID A LONGER SENTENCE EARLIER MORON! :P)**  
Jenna: -lunges at antagonist-  
Vi: -holds back- Actually, we came to ask for your help.  
Felix: I knew you would. 'Cause, once you'se part of the family, you'se always comes back, ya know what I'm sayin'?  
Jenna: ...  
Vi: Err...yeah. Well, we need you to help us bury someone.  
Felix: -nods- Ah, you offed some poor piece a crap. Who?  
Vi: Her. -holds out Caris's body-  
-music stops. Felix goes white. The cape is dropped to reveal Scooby Doo underwear-  
Felix: HOLY S%#! You killed our EFFING CREATOR??!!  
Vi: It was an accident!  
Felix: An accident? An ACCIDENT?!? You idiot! Without her, we don't exist! Our stories will stop being updated, and we'll have to live in a permanent limbo! You idiot; limbo is not a fun place. Do you hear me? Not. A. Fun. Place. -twitches-  
Vi/Jenna: ...  
Felix: Don't just stand there! We have to save her! -tries to give Caris CPR-  
Vi: -slaps- Pervert!  
Jenna: -snorts-  
Felix: Well, I don't see YOU coming up with any brilliant ideas!  
Jenna: Can't you cast a spell or something??  
Vi: What do you want me to say? Abra-cadabra?  
Jenna: Well...something.  
Vi: I could try calling Luce...  
Jenna/Felix: Do it!  
Vi: Fine, fine. -mutters- You all are so pushy. -takes out cell phone and dials-  
Jenna: -continues to twitch at the thought of limbo-  
Felix: -tries to give Caris CPR again. Is slapped-  
Vi: Pervert! Oh, hi, Luce! Listen, you know our creator? Yeah, that one. Well, I kinda killed her...  
Luce: -pops out of random Portal- You WHAT??!!  
Felix: That's what I'm saying!  
Vi: It was an accident.  
Luce: Oh, naturally. -glances at Caris- Ohh. Nice one. You've really done it this time, Violetta.  
Vi: -drops to knees- Please! You have to help me heal her! -weeps-  
Jenna: -joins- Please? -Bambi eyes-  
Felix: Yes, please! My story is too young and under-updated for me to go into limbo. -hangs onto legs- Please!  
Luce: -flicks hair over shoulder- Oh...alright.  
Vi: You'll heal her?  
Luce: Yes, I suppose.  
Jenna: How?  
Luce: Like this. -raises arms- Allacazam!  
Caris: -jerks awake- Yo, what's happening?  
Felix: Caris! -glomps-  
Jenna: That's all you had to do? Just say, "Allacazam"?  
Luce: What did you think I had to do? Fly on a broomstick?  
Jenna: -glares at Vi-  
Vi: Err...ah...look! Caris is alive! -hugs-  
Caris: Why are my random OCs hugging me? -kicks away Felix and Vi-  
Luce: It's a long story.  
Caris: I've got time. -glares-  
Vi: -fidgets- Ah, yes, well, it all started with a review of Nutty...

Caris: So that is, apparently, what happened in my absence.  
Vi: -nodnod- Yep.  
Caris: Oh, and, just so you know, you both are grounded for the rest of your nonexistent lives.  
Jenna: -facepalm-  
Luce: -from somewhere- Give me that necklace back, you overgrown Eraser!  
Felix: You've gotta catch me first! -something crashes-  
Caris: SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO LEAVE A REVIEW IN PEACE!  
Vi: Yeah, you tell 'em, girl!  
Caris: -glares- How did you talk me into letting them stay for the weekend?  
Jenna: -quotes- "Because they are vastly ignored and feel bad as minor characters for your stories about female OCs."  
Vi: Jenna, that's the longest sentence you've ever spoken! -huggles-  
Jenna: -turns green-  
Caris: Oh, yeah. Remind me not to do that again.  
Felix: Ha-ha! You'll never catch me, Lucy!  
Luce: Come back here! -crash-  
Caris: -sigh- Well, I suppose it's time for us to sign off.  
Vi: So update soon!  
Caris: And we might leave another crazy review. You can post this one on your next chapter, if you like.  
Vi: I feel so honored to have a chappie partly dedicated to me.  
Caris: Um, hello, it says CARIS, a oneshot funshot, and RUOC. Not Caris, Vi, Jenna, and other random people, a oneshot funshot, and RUOC.  
Vi: You're always bringing me down, aren't you?  
Jenna: Can we end this yet? Even the quiet ones have to eat.  
Caris: Indeed! So, see you next time!  
Vi: Don't eat the yellow snow!  
Jenna: -facepalm-  
All: Bye!  
-peace

* * *

So, um, yeah. That's what happened. XD

And now, for song _numero uno_ (since I can never remember what "number" is in French, and neither can M.G):

_Bubbly Huggly_!

* * *

_Bubbly Huggly_, by Vera Amber

_Whoa-oa, I'm so bubbly, whoa-oa-oa  
__Whoa-oa, I'm so huggly! Whoa-oa-oa!  
______Bubbly, huggly, what's the diff?  
________Either way, there's no miff!_

_I might be bubbly  
__I might be huggly  
__But I'm def not a Pretty  
__And my huggles aren't from pity!_

_Bubbly, huggly, both am I  
__And I won't ask why  
__Because both are so awesome  
__Like a cute widdle possum!_

_Whoa-oa, I'm so bubbly, whoa-oa-oa  
__Whoa-oa, I'm so huggly! Whoa-oa-oa!_

_____I am SO bubbly!  
__And I'm SO huggly!  
__I'm just waitin' to huggle y'all to next week!  
__And whoa-oa, that's not maple, that's teak!_

_

* * *

_

Me: I know, random. I wrote it when I was feeling bubbly and huggly, obviously, XD...

So, Max, B'Ella, your opinions on it?

B'Ella: I like it. Kinda. It's a bit... off...

Max: Vera's a bit off too, though, so that's expected.

B'Ella: Agreed. How'd you like it?

Max: It's okay. A bit short...

Me: -shrug- And now, for-

WORDCOUNT!

Everyone: -groans- Why must you always do this!? WHY!?

Me: Hey, this is only the third chapter I've done this in. Not really that much.

Words: 1456

Me: Yay! We're over a quarter of the way there!

Oh em squee!

B'Ella: What?

Me: I can't believe I forgot the Vera Amber classic!

Max: The what now?

Me: The Vera Amber classic! Y'know, _The Disclaiming Song_! It's been featured in _two_ of my fanfics, and even got it's own oneshot! This makes fanfic number three!

B'Ella: Of course! _The Disclaiming Song_! How could we forget!?

Max: ..._The Disclaiming_ _Song_? Never heard of it.

B'Ella and I: -le gasp-

Me: I _must_ C&P it, then! (-adds "C&P – copy/paste" to that dictionary thing talked about in the last chapter-)

* * *

_The Disclaiming Song_, by Vera Amber

_I don't own what you recognize  
__I mostly don't own what you don't  
__But then there are things that I own  
__And they're mine, I tell you, all mine!_

_Now quit trying to sue me  
__It won't get you anywhere  
__I don't have any money  
__So don't even ask for a dime!_

_I don't own what you recognize  
__I so like totally don't  
__I don't claim to copyright  
__Everyone owns what is theirs_

_________Now quit trying to sue me  
__Don't ask for any pennies  
__Whoever owns it does own it  
__And that someone is not me_

_________________I tell you, I don't own it  
__Unless I say I do  
__So don't go trying to sue me  
__It won't get you anywhere_

_I don't own what you recognize  
__So don't try to get me to pay up_

_

* * *

_

Max: I REMEMBER THAT SONG!

B'Ella and I: Yayness!

Max: ...psyche.

Me: Dammit.

B'Ella: You seriously don't remember it?

Max: -headshake-

Me: Oh, well.

Since you don't remember it, then, what do you think of it?

Max: It's... weird. And random. And kinda freaky, considering you "own" a song about disclaiming.

Me: -grin-

B'Ella: So, what song's next?

Me: Hm... -looks- -evil grin-

Max: Uh-oh. I know that look. What's up?

Me: It's K. Diddy's unnamed song.

Everyone: -le gasp-

Me: Mwahaha!

* * *

_Untitled [Parody of Tik Tok]_ by Vera Amber, K. Diddy, and friends

_Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like K. Diddy  
__Got my notebook, I'm out the window, I'm gonna hit New Jersey  
__Before I leave, post another FlockUpdates vid  
__'Cause when I come back, I'll be high on hyper_

_I'm tweeting!  
__"I just kicked a pedicurist!" (PEDICURIST!)  
__"My outfit is FUN-KY!" (FUNKY!)  
__"I'm tweeting from a crappy phone." (CRAPPY PHONE!)  
__"Dora's head can't fit through that frickin' log!" (FRICKIN' LOG!)_

_Write fast!  
__Update soon!  
__Review for all you're worth  
__Tonight, hyperness  
__'Til, like, 3:10AM  
__Tic-Tac  
__In my mouth_

_

* * *

_

Me: So, um, yeah. That's all we have so far. Everyone agrees the "Tic-Tic/In my mouth" bit just sounds...weird.

Max: Heh.

B'Ella: I remember you pestering Kara for, like, an _hour_ or something ridiculous-

Me: How is an hour ridiculous!?

B'Ella: -trying to get her to come up with those tweets.

Me: Heh.

Max: I remember that, too!

Me: Anyway...here's a special song I found in IMing, when I was rereading it recently...

* * *

_The Evil Girl Squad + Fang Theme Song_ by Vera Amber/Random Dude

_We're the, Evil, Girl Squad plus Fang,  
__We're all girls, except for Fang,  
__We love to torment boys, except for Fang,  
__We have sweet fun, sweet fun, sweet, fun-fun, we have fun, tormenting boys all da-ay,  
__We wreak havoc, havoc all day, all to boys, except for Fang!

* * *

_

Me: Supposedly it's to the tune of "Hoedown Throwdown", by Guyley Cyrpus.

Max: Nice nickname.

Me: XD No better/worse than Smella Spawn...

B'Ella: -facepalm-

Me: :P

Max: What other songs have you written? I know you're written a lot...

Me: Hm... I'll look in a minute, but first... WORDCOUNT TIME!

Everyone: -_-

Words: 2073

Me: YAY! Almost halfway there!

Max: Joy...

B'Ella: So, what _is _the next song?

Me: -grin- You'll see...

Max: Uh-oh.

* * *

_Untitlted and Unfinished_, by Vera Amber (NOTE: It actually _is_ untitled and unfinished, heh... I might rename eventually. Maybe. XD)

_I don't wanna be attacked with a toothpick  
__I don't wanna be attacked with a toothpick  
__I don't wanna be attacked with a toothpick  
(spoken)__ Because, like, they're toothpicks. Who wants to attacked with that?_

_Yeah I'm random yeah I'm weird  
__Yeah I'm weirder than you feared  
__But don't worry I'm not nuts  
__And plus I've got guts_

_Yeah..._

_I don't wanna be attacked with a cell phone  
__I don't wanna be attacked with a cell phone  
__I don't wanna be attacked with a cell phone  
(spoken)__ Dude, it's a cell phone...

* * *

_

Max: -_- I remember that song.

B'Ella: -_- Me too. Didn't Vera sing it for, like, three hours straight one time?

Me: -grin- Yep. And it's not even finished...heh...

Max: So, are you just gonna spam your readers with random songs all day, or are you actually going to have a _conversation_ with us?

Me: Hm...nahhh.

Max: -facepalm-

Me: Besides, it's not like this isn't a conversation!

B'Ella: She has a point.

Max: Yeah, but still.

Me: Ooh, I just found another epic song!

Max: Oh, gr-

* * *

_Us_ by Vera Amber (Needs a new title, I know...heh...)

_Kara's ghetto rocking  
__M.G's preppy-talking  
__Vera's really random  
__Saint's the best in the fandom_

_Nat's obsessed with Chuck  
__Skits has lots of luck  
__Bell speaks Japanese  
__Rain probably won't freeze_

_Crossover loves The Beatles  
__Wryder doesn't like needles (probably)  
__Em lives in England  
__Matt's marriage wasn't planned_

_We all rawk your sawks  
__Like keys rock rusty locks  
__We write lots stuff  
__And like to play around in fluff  
__Hey!

* * *

_

Max: -eat. WHY'D YOU CUT ME OFF, BI-!?

Me: 'Cause I felt like it.

Max: YOU CUT ME OFF AGAIN! GRRR! -stomps off-

B'Ella: -pops up- You know she hates it when you cut her off, and yet you still do. Why?

Me: 'Cause it's fun.

B'Ella: Thought so. New song?

Me: Yes, but first...WORDCOUNT TIME!

Words: 2429.

Me: Meh. Not that many more since the last time I checked...

B'Ella: Well, let's make the chapter longer.

Me: -grin- Yes, let's. Now, which song to do next...hm...

B'Ella: Maybe Beans or P. Uppy?

Me: Oohs! Yes! Let's do P. Uppy first...

* * *

_P. Uppy_ by Vera Amber (I own the song, not the actual creature! XD)

_P. Uppy is a ghetto puppy  
__P. Uppy's way better than a guppy  
__P. Uppy is SO cool!  
__P. Uppy also drools_

_P. Uppy rawks your sawks  
__P. Uppy rocks more than a box!  
__P. Uppy's really really cute  
__P. Uppy, though, can't play a flute_

_P. Uppy has two brothers  
__P. Uppy's brothers are different than any others  
__P. Uppy has no idea why  
__P. Uppy doesn't even bother asking them for an alibi  
_

_________P. Uppy should rule the world  
__P. Uppy like to twirl  
__P. Uppy would be a great leader  
__P. Uppy'd also make us become de-weeders_

_P. Uppy rocks, we're sure of that  
__P. Uppy also hates rats  
__P. Uppy, though, might not be the perfect ruler  
__P. Uppy, let's face it, isn't a dueler_

_P. Uppy is great, all the while  
__P. Uppy, oddly, LOVES tile  
__P. Uppy, though, should stay inside  
__P. Uppy doesn't wanna lose her hide

* * *

_

Me: I'll probably make it longer in the future..heh...

B'Ella: Isn't that about one of M.G's dogs, P. Uppy?

Me: Yuuuuup. Her two brothers are Chester and Squishy. Heh.

And now, before the next song... RANDOMNESS!  
Max: -magically reappeared sometime- Oh, that's just great.

Me: -grin- Isn't it.

Max: Sarcasm. Say it after me, Vera, Sar. Casm. Sarcasm.

Me: I know, right? It's sarcasm epicalicious?

B'Ella: -is cracking up-

Max: You do that on purpose, don't you?

Me: -headtilt- Do what?

Max: -_-

B'Ella: -snickers- So, what shall this randomness entail, Vera?

Me: Hmmm... -thinks-

Java: -appears in a puff of caramel smoke- How about shameless advertising?

Max: Ooh, caramel... -pulls out of the air and eats-

Me: D: I can't have caramel! That's an epicalicious idea, though.

Java: ...I thought it was epitasticalicious?

Me: -shrug- Okay, so shameless advertising...hm... what to advertise about... -snaps finger- I know!

* * *

Have you ever wanted a "¿Me permite meter un mono en tú pantalons?" T-shirt? Or maybe a "Whacking my virtual head against my firewall" mousepad? Or maybe – just maybe – a "Krill Yum Yum Yum" pin? Then you've come to the right place!

Scroll way up, click the little thing that says "Vera Amber", and scroll down until you find the "Shameless Advertising" section. It should be between Petitions and Staff.

Click on the link, and tada!

All proceeds go towards St. Fang of Boredom, who's in desperate need of cash.

Don't believe me? Check our her profile. She had a link to it, too.

* * *

Max: You enjoyed writing that, didn't you?

Me: -grin- Yep!

B'Ella: So, you gonna C&P another song?

Me: In a minute. But first... WORDCOUNT TIME!

Everyone: Not again...

Me: Yes, again!

Words: 2932.

Me: YAYYYYYY! We're getting there! And -grabs calculator- it's only 1635 words until we're finished!

Max: Oh joyous happiness of contentment.

Dizzy the Disclaimer: -pops up- We don't own that line, St. Fang of Boredom does! -pops down-

Max: -stares at floor- ...I will never understand how you "pop down".

Me: It's simple physics, Max. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

Max: Even _I_ know that. But what does that have to do with anything, exactly?

Me: Well, see, if you can pop up, you can pop down. It's like how everything that goes up must come down.

B'Ella: -is cracking up again-

Java: -mutters- Craaazy people...

Max: You're full of sayings like that today, aren't you?

Me: -blank stare- Sayings like what?

Max: -_- Nevermind...

B'Ella: -snickers- So, the next song?

Me: Yupyepyup!

Max: -facepalm-

* * *

_51_, by Vera Amber

_One two three four  
__I can't hear you anymore!  
__Five six seven eight  
__Why the heck am I deaf!? Is it something I ate!?  
__Eight nine ten eleven  
__Wait, I can hear now! ...why are we at 7-11?  
__Twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen  
__Wow, that cashier sure is mean  
__Sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen  
__Hey, that bird sure likes to preen!  
__Twenty -one -two -three  
__OMG OMG OMG!  
__Twenty-four -five -six -seven  
__I think that I'm in Heaven!  
__Twenty-eight -nine Thirty -one  
__Wait, no, that's just the microwave saying my food is done  
__Thirty-two -three -four -five  
__This is random, and yes, I'm aliiiive!  
__Thirty-six -seven -eight -nine  
__OMG, look, I can see my spine!  
__Forty -one -two -three  
__WEEEEEE!!!!!!  
__Forty-four -five -six -seven  
__La di la what else rhymes with seven?  
__Forty-eight -nine Fifty -one  
__Okay, my randomness is done!

* * *

_

Max: ...wow, that was random.

B'Ella: Um, yeah. Really.

Me: I know, right!? Isn't it epic!? :D

Max and B'Ella: -...back away slowly-

Me: -ignores- Hee! And now... WORDCOUNT TIME!

Words: 3247.

Me: Yays! We're getting there! Only 1320 words left! :D

Max: ...yay?

Me: -nodnod- Yay!

Max: Okay then.

B'Ella: Hey, I thought you were gonna do _Beans_?

Me: Well, I decided against doing that one right then, since I'd _just_ done _P. Uppy_. But now I'm gonna do _Beans_. XD

B'Ella: XD

Max: ...do what with the what now?

* * *

_Beans_ by Vera Amber (Again, own the song, but not le bunny)

_Beans is a bunny  
__A very funny bunny  
__Beans is really cute  
__...what rhymes with cute?_

_Beans is adorable  
__And her owner isn't horrible  
__So Beans is, like, epic  
__Nothing rhymes with epic_

_Beans the Bunny  
__Is very very funny  
____And Beans the Rabbit  
__Has no bad habits!_

_And that's why we love Beans  
__Other than the fact that she cleans  
__The room of M.G the Weird  
__Thankfully, M.G has no beard_

_So, yeah, Beans is cool  
__Cooler than a mule  
__Beans is almost perfect  
__Almost 'cause she's a cheese addict_

_And now I wonder if  
__Beans will always cause no miff  
__'Cause in the future  
__Beans might need some sutures

* * *

_

Me: Yup, random.

B'Ella: Totalily.

Max: -mutters- Craaazy people.

Java: Hey, didn't I mutter that a few thousand words ago?

Max: I think so, actually. Huh. Weird.

Java: Well, I _am_ your daughter, so it's kinda expected...

Max: LIES! You're only my daughter in JRE.

Java: LIES! I'm also your daughter in PL.

B'Ella and I: -look at each other- Craaazy people.

Me: So... what now?

B'Ella: Well, why don't you post another song?

Me: ...I'm pretty sure I don't have any more.

B'Ella: Well, go check. And make sure to check in YJY, too.

Me: -salutes- -runs off-

Max: ...so what do we do while she's looking for a song?

B'Ella and Java: -shrug-

Me: No need to do something, I found a song!

Everyone: Yay!

Max: Wait, how could you hear us all the wait out there?

Me: I'm a professional eavesdropper, remember? Anyway, here's the song I found!

Max: ...that's not a song, that's a line.

Me: I know. I lied. I couldn't find any songs.

B'Ella: Fail or win, I wonder?

Max: Fail. Definitely fail.

Me: :P

B'Ella: So...what now? It's not like you can do any more songs.

Me: -le gasp- Do you doubt my song-writing abilities!?

B'Ella: No, it's just-

Me: I SHALT PROVE YOU WRONG!

Max: Oh, cra-

* * *

_Shaaaa!_ By Vera Amber

_Cheese!  
__Sneeze!  
__Fruit!  
__Cute!  
__La di da!  
__Do re mi fa!  
__Ice!  
__Nice  
__Hamster!  
__Hampster!  
__SHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!_

_Crazy.  
__Lazy.  
__Par.  
__Tar.  
__Creature.  
__Feature.  
__Yo-yo.  
__So-so.  
__Hula skirt.  
__Shiny dirty.  
__SHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!_

_People?  
__Steeple?  
__Fries?  
__Pies?  
__Kite?  
__Bite?  
__Deer?  
__Sneer?  
__Neat?  
__Meat?  
__SHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

* * *

_

Me: SEE!? My song writing skillz are epicalicious!

Max: ...okay, if _that_ wasn't random, I don't know what is.

B'Ella: Agreed. TOTALLY random.

Me: -grin- That be the point. And now...WORDCOUNT TIME!

Words: 3722.

Me: YAY! Less than 1000 words left! :D

Max: So...what now?

Everyone: -shrug-

B'Ella: ...that was freaky. We all, like, shrugged at the same time.

Max: Agreed.

Me: Yupyepyup.

Max: STOP SAYING THAT!

Me: Why should I!?

Max: ...because!

Me: That's a horrible reason.

Max: But when you say you did it because it's not!

Me: That's because I'm ME!

B'Ella: Craaaazy people.

Java: Agreed.

Max: Yeah, well, if you can do it I can!

Me: LIES! You fail at all forms of fanfiction!

Max: ...true.

Me: :P

Everyone: Soooo...

Me: Wordcount time?

Words: 3817.

B'Ella: Not much more than since the last time you checked.

Max: Yeah...so what do we do now?

Me: Hm...-thinks- Shall I talk about the "challenge"?  
Max: -shrug-

Me: Okay then.

Well, Skits (Fangalicous08) and I are having a contest sort of thing right now.

See, we're trying to see who can update all of our fics first (today), and if neither of us update all of 'em, whoever update the most compared to how many they have. (Like, say I update 3 out of 5 while she updates 3 out of 4. Then she'd win, because she updated 75%, while I only updated 60%. Get it? Got it? Good.)

B'Ella: Yup.

Me: Wow...this is page fourteen in OpenOffice, and I'm only using size 12 font... O_o

B'Ella: Wordcount time?

Me: Wordcount time.

Words: 3953.

Me: YAYYYY! Almost 4000!

B'Ella: So... what will we talk about for the next 500 words?

Me: -shrug- Hey, wait, what about the FF.N Inflation Principle?

B'Ella, Max, and Java: The what?

Me: The FF.N Inflation Principle! You know how FF.N always says that a document always has more words than it actually does?

B'Ella, Max, and Java: Yeah?

Me: Well, do we do 4567 words on here, or 4567 words by the FF.N Inflation Principle!?

B'Ella: ...good question.

Java: Very good question.

Me: -thinks- Hm... how about I upload this to the DM, and see how many words it says it is?

Max and B'Ella: -shrugs-

Me: Okay then! So, first, wordcount time. Again.

Words: 4070.

And now, to see what FF.N says... -uploads-

Words, by FF.N: 5514.

Everyone: O_o

Me: Well, since I'm already a ways past 4567 words, methinks I shalt go by the OpenOffice wordcount!

Everyone: -agreed-

Max: I hate it when "Everyone" says something. It's so weird to do/say something in unison with the rest of the planet...

Everyone: -agrees-

Max: -_-

Me: -snickers-

B'Ella: So...

Max: What not?

Me: Uh...good question. -thinks-

Java: How about a random except from a ytbp fic?

B'Ella: Ooh, yeah, I like that idea!

Me: Okay then.

* * *

Angel: I'm a little pretty, tip tap toe! My name is sugar, her name is ho! -points to Max-

Max: I ain't no ho, GURL! I'm a trippin' suga' shawty babe, made in China, yo'!

Iggy: -tap dances-

* * *

Max: -stares- W...T...F...

Me: -cracks up- That's from an uberrandom oneshot...heh...

B'Ella: Wow.

Java: You can say that again.

Everyone: That again!

Max: -_- Yet another Everyone: thing...

Me: XD

B'Ella: Hey, how many words do we have now?

Me: Hm...dunno. Wordcount time!

Words: 4245.

Me: Yay! We're getting closer to 4567!

B'Ella: That we are.

Me: So... hm... steal and idea from Skits?

Max: -shrug- Sure.

Me: Okay, well, here are some random QOTDs from past days, and from today, too:

* * *

"There's a horny cinnamun bun down the choking girl's pants..." "NECROPHILIA!" Fang and...someone... Long story.

"Oh kar ruh! (Yes I did just say that.)" Me in a review for Randomness...heh...

"I need a ladle, a steak knife, ten bucks, and a plane ticket." M.G. she wanted to kill someone. Heh.

"Even when she's about to die she still manages to say yayness..." Skits. Go read chapter 13 of this fic, it'll make sense then. XD

"But I don't _want_ to think about exploding rabbits!" Some chick in M.G's Biology class. Again, long story.

"My body could feed 26 hungry weasels!" Me. Yet again, long story, heh...

"I call her a whore. It gives her class." Me. Kara and Skits were calling M.G a ho... so... yeah.

"Are we all sick at the moment!? CYBER GERMS! -dumps Purrell on convo-" Kara. No explanation needed.

"So... So... Papayas ??" Nat. I'm not entirely sure was she was talking about, heh...

"GAH! RADIOACTIVE CANADIANS! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO, EH?!" Matt. He said that after I twitpicced a pic of M.G where she was bright green...heh...

"Oh em squee! It's a whorewolf!" Me. I was reading a MI-wannabe fic... they wrote "whorewolf" instead of "werewolf"...heh.

* * *

Me: I'mma do more, but first... wordcount?

Words: 4508.

Me: Oh, wow. I don't think I need to do more! :D

B'Ella, Max, and Java: Yayyyy!

Me: We just need a few more words... so... uh...

Everyone: Bye peoples!

Me: Yeah, that works. XD R&R? Oh, and wordcount?

Words: 4549.

Me: So... close...!

Words: 4554.

Me: Almost there... c'mon wordcount...

Words: 4561.

Me: -grin- Meep!

Words: 4567.


End file.
